Korean Job Discussion Forums

[periwinkle]

At 8:30 am, I got off the bus, and there was a guy standing nearby. He said something to me, but I didn't understand, so I ignored him- I didn't even make eye contact. Several seconds later, he came running up behind me, jumped into the air, and drove his fist down into my back REALLY HARD. I screamed, "Way guh-lay??!" (Why did you do that). He froze into this weird robot position (total psycho). The security guards at my company saw the whole thing, and they did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. They called the police, and it took the police 40 f-ing minutes to arrive. I called my co-workers (I was crying hysterically btw), and they met me at the gate. The psycho just sat on the wall about 50 meters away from the gate. While we waited for the police, he would stare at me and make wide slashing motions with his arms. Really freaky. My boss sheperded everyone back inside, while one of my co-workers stayed outside to wait for the cops. While he waited for the cops, the psycho broke off the arm of the automatic gate to the parking lot across the street,and he also busted one of those large kimchi pots that are used as an ashtray. It was only then that security tackled him.

On Monday I have a meeting with his family at the police stn. to talk about compensation. I missed work because I was too upset to be productive, so I'm going to ask for lost wages. I only spent around 5000 won at the doctor (they wanted to give me an x-ray, but I don't like to be exposed to radiation, so I declined). I wanted a sedative, but they only gave me muscle relaxants that upset my stomach horribly. He also owes the company around 300,000 won for property damage.

The VP of my division sent me some flowers, and he's going to have the security people dealt with (they are outsourced employees). I'm so angry that they did NOTHING to help me, but once the guy started taking out company property, then they acted. Useless bastards. I hate them.

This is the second time I have been assaulted (the other time was in Boston- guy speeding by me on a bike smacked me hard in the face while holding an egg and split my lip open), and the third time a guy has done something violent to me in my life. I am sick and tired of this s-. I'm sure it will happen again because almost everytime I am out, somebody says something to me (I had a guy totally leering at me Tues. night on the train, standing too close and following me around the train when I tried to move away from him.. Finally I flipped him off, so he moved away).

I'm going to get a tazer from my brother (he is a sergeant in a county jail). I think I need to see a Buddhist fortune teller or something to find-out what the deal is with my karma, and get a psychic cleansing to get rid of bad karma. I'm a confirmed Catholic, but whatever. My fiance doesn't want me going out late at night (especially Itaewon- heh, heh) because I am too visible as a target.

The moral of my story is- don't expect security people to rescue you, and don't rely on the emergency services to arrive in a timely manner. Other than that, watch your back.

P.S. Can anyone recommend a good counselor that speaks English? I think Harpeau is a counselor. Does insurance cover counselling here? I have some issues to deal with.

[Big_Bird]

I don't really know what to say. Just that that was really awful.

In my entire life I've been flashed 3 times. 2 of those times were here in Korea. On the surface it seems a safe country, but underneath there's some real sickness going on. My female students report being harassed often by perverts whilst at middleschool and highschool. They never went to the police because it's not taken seriously by the police or by society in general. This guy who hit you is really sick...but sadly I doubt very much will happen to him.

Reading your post, I feel very lucky that I've never been violently assaulted by a strange man. I have been punched in the face a by a strange woman though, because she was jealous that her boyfriend was eyeing me. I smacked that rotten ___ch right back and split her lip open, before people dragged us apart. But I'd be scared to hit a man.

I don't know about karma...I think it's just terrible bad luck that you have been targeted a few times in your life. I don't think your experiences are that uncommon sadly, and many women have suffered even worse. Hopefully you've had your fairshare now, and you won't get anymore.

Get counseling ASAP. You've got a lot of trauma to deal with. I really hope you're going to be alright.

[Big_Bird]

Oh yes, and demand compensation for pyshological trauma. You'll need to pay a counselor/therapist/pyschologist.

[fidel]

Terrible stuff! I don't know what would be worse, being hit by the psycho or having the guards do jack.

You'll be able to get some decent coin from the man and his family, especially if you are hurting. HOWEVER, perhaps the man is mentally unstable, his family are poor etc. Taking money in this case would be in my opinion not the right way of doing things.

That said if he is just a whacked out soju head, screw him and his worthless family for all you can get.

As for the security, make sure you ridicule Korean men in general for failing to act, perhpas you could compare them to Japanese guards who would react totally differently and rush to your aid if that were to happen in Japan. Don't forget to call them yellow bellied cowards while you are at it. Take their photos and tell them you are going to send their photos to cowards.com.

While none of these things will really help it will make you feel better.
Chin up!

[periwinkle]

Thanks, Big Bird. I've been flashed, as well, and recently there was a guy spanking his monkey on the bus (I was on an express bus, and he was sitting cate-corner from me)- I didn't say anything because I felt like the people on the bus would act like I was the freak. He wiped his hand on the curtain, btw. Why is it that men behave in these ways, but women don't? Is it the testosterone? I read a lot of true crime books, and the victim is almost always a woman who has been murdered by a man. I love how the excuse for violence against women is that the perp had a bad mother. Women who have bad fathers (or absent fathers) don't go around killing men, or committing violence against them (well, they do, but it's not in the same ballpark of percentages). Why? Why? Why?

I had a dream last night that someone had shoved long knitting needles down my throat, and I would choke as I pulled them out one by one. I need some meds... Anyway, I'm going to see Harpeau soon.

If you guys see a woman walking down the street, and she looks like a total bitch- not smiling, and staring straight ahead, it's probably someone who gets hassled a lot and that's her street attitude. I've been stopped on the street before by co-workers, etc., and they are always like, "How come you didn't see me?" It's because I don't make eye contact with anyone, and I don't look at people- I'm always busy looking at architecture, etc.- anything to avoid people. Well, now you know why some women can be unfriendly on the street. I love the city, but I don't think this would happen to me in my hometown in Wisconsin...

[Big_Bird]

What is it with Korea and flashers? I think one of the problems is that it is very much tolerated here. Women (and young girls) seem to be expected to 'just take it on the chin.' Or perhaps they feel too shamed to make a fuss. What is it with women and shame?

There is a misconception that flashers are harmless, when in fact they are often on their way to becoming a serious danger to women. Many dangerous sex-offenders start off as peeping toms or flashers before they graduate on to more serious things.

I'm glad you're going to see Harpeau. I hope it helps you a lot.

[Demonicat]

Though you are scared and hurting, understandably, please reconsider the taser. I'm assuming that you aren't 180lbs of badass muscle and rage. The reason I say this matters is two fold.
1) You have to be willing to use it- tasers are not pretty, their effects I mean.
2) As with any hand to hand weapon, if you hesitate or are physically weaker/slower- your attacker may take your weapon..not good.

So what to do? Sound horns with lots of blinking lights tend to do well. They confuse the frick out of an assailent and attract alot of attention (not that seemed to have helped you last time- damn cowardly rentacops. Also, you may want to go old school. Get someone to teach you how to throw a proper punch (if you don't know anyone, PM me and I'll show you), and start carrying around a roll of nickels (or wons). Someone messes with ya, crack him in the jaw. Another good tool is a chain dog leash. Nice little black jack that, but more importantly, its intimidating to the guy on the scumway and won't get you in trouble with the police.
And like everyone has said, get to the counselor. That dream sounds alot like PTSD setting in. Something you don't want.

[tzechuk]

Periwinkle, you are a woman, right? And the guy just jumped on you and hit you on the back??? OMG... that's crazy! I am so sorry to hear that.. don't just demand compensation, demand to have that crazy person put behind bars for life (yeah I know it's not going to happen, but it darn well should!).

Geez... and someone said in another thread the good thing about being in Korea is that it's safe.. how is it safe when you get attacked at 8.30 in the MORNING?!

May be you can go to the Yonsei International Clinic and ask Dr. Linton for a referral to see a shrink. I've done that before. They have one or two shrinks there that speak fairly decent English.

Chin up.. you always have us here to cheer you up (well, we can try )!

Big HUGS.

[manlyboy]

Street predators looking for an ego boost always hone in on what they perceive to be easy targets. It's easy to sense when someone is avoiding eye contact with you, and it's almost always seen as a sign of submissive weakness.
When a potential threat comes into proximity, I think it's best to acknowledge their presence. Don't stare at them, but give them a suspicious glance and keep them in your peripheral vision at all times.
When they see that you're alert to the threat, and not showing fear, they're likely to move on to an "easier" target.

As for Korean security guards. They were probably stunned by the sudden realization that they actually had to respond to a real live security threat for once in their lives.

[rapier]

All sympathy periwinkle.

Life is fully of nasty and completely unexpected surprises. Living in Korea is certainly one of the more wacky and unpredictable times of my life. It drives you to a sort of "Whats next" paranoia.

[periwinkle]

[dg611]

sorry to hear about your troubles peri'

You do really need to rethink the taser thing....if you do you best ask police officer about the legality of their use.
Korea has some funny rules about fights and assults. If you are attacked as you were and do nothing...then you are entltled to compensation and should always act more hurt than you really are...you should have taken the xrays or had a CTscan or something...the guy has to pay for it and your lost time from work and more....the guys family will need to pay you off to avoid jailtime for their crazed relative...so milk it!

If you get a tazer and use it....someone could wind up suing YOU! that would suck big time. If you are attacked and fight back...there is no 'self-defense' defense in Korea oddly enough unless your life is threatened...even then there is no 'deadly force' laws here...(at least none that you would be able to use as a foreigner) Don't do the tazer...it will put you up crapcreek if you use it in anything other than a rape situation and only then if the creep has already beat you up pretty badly...

try not to let it get you too down...Korea is A LOT safer than most countries in the west. There are no guns, and the number of violent crimes is way lower than the states. Life sucks equally everywhere its the rule of the universe, eh?

[crazylemongirl]

sorry to hear about your problems.

The same rules of street smarts should apply in korea as they do back home. Whether your attacked or not is still down to chance but you can do things to lower the odds.

1. Walk tall. Have a don't f' with me attuide. As manly boy said predators will go for easy target.

2. If attacked make some noise and try and leave the situation for the nearest 'safe spot'

3. When walking alone at night. Walk briskly and keep you head up. Curl your fingers around your keys.

I would hesistate about a taser. In korea it's not the person who hits first who is at fault but the one with the most injuries (hence the sissy boy fights). also like people siad it could be used as a weapon against you.

Please bear in mind that your a foreign woman here so you're basically a magnet for every freak within eye site. Especially if you happen to be distinclly foreign eg. blonde hair, pale skin. men see you and think you must just like those blonde women they see in pornos etc. Infact you are the closest to pamela anderson that most men in this country ever gonna get so they govern their behavior accordingly

Dress a lot more conservative than you would back home (yeah I know it sucks). But you really don't want to be giving them any more encoragement.

hope this helps and don't let the b'staards get you down.

[periwinkle]

I don't know what kind of attitude to adopt toward the family when meeting them to discuss money. If they give me the patronizing, "Oooh- so pretty" bull again, I will lose it. Women are worth more than their looks. I could either act sad, little, and pathetic- Koreans seem to respond to the poor innocent girl act. I really want to go in there and slam my fist on the table and scream that I missed work, and now I need to either attend counselling or deal with nightmares. Actually, in all likelihood, I will sit there silently with my poker face and let my soft-spoken, intelligent, considerate, kind fiance handle it.

The guy has some screws loose- I don't know exactly what's wrong with him, but my co-workers tell me he has a "psychology problem". I'm guessing he's psychotic. He seemed to think he was a ninja, and he OBVIOUSLY knew Kendo or Hapkido. Apparently he escaped from his home or a psychiatric hospital or something. Regardless, someone dropped the ball in regards to his care, and somebody needs to be held responsible. It's not right for violent psychos (literally) to run loose, causing injury to innocent people and damaging property.

Does Korea even have insane asylums, or are these people expected to be cared for by their families? I feel sorry for his family to have such a burden, but I would rather be saving my money for all the crap I have to buy for my wedding instead of spending it on counselling. Alas, I'm not feeling very charitable at this moment.

[buddy bradley]