Korean Job Discussion Forums

thaitom · Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Location: Phopphra, Thailand

Actually, I am not Thaitom BTW. I am his friend, Happenstance Man, and we are the only foreigners in the same small town. I am using Thaitom until Dave approves my application, but I feel the necessity to post this and receive replies before I return to work on tuesday. I am abolutely dumbfounded as how to proceed, other than to quit outright. Fetch yourself a strong cup of coffee and proceed- this should very likely be a lengthy read- sorry.
I have lived in Korea for five years, almost exclusively in Seoul. I have had my share of ups and downs in dealing with Koreans, but never to the point where I desired to break any contract, or even to become bitter towards Korean people as a whole. And then I accepted a job at a Middle/high school in a small town.
At first, I was the only foreigner in the town, and there were very few people to talk to. I made friends with the local supermarket lady and a few others, but it was a relatively lonely time when I wasn't in Seoul. I got into a brief relationship with a girl I met on the street one day. I made sure to be discreet and not flaunt our relationship around town. However, one day she was in my room, I forgot to lock the door. The next door lady actually opened the door and peeked in when this girl was sitting on my lap in my computer chair with a blanket wrapped around us. Apparently she called my school and said she heard me 'making noises'. I blew it off, and the next week the girl moved to Bucheon.
Meanwhile, the supermarket lady and I were starting to become good (platonic) friends, and she would often come visit me in my home. A month after the first incident, I got a call from the person who recruited me and said that the school called him telling him that the supermarket lady was my girlfriend, and that I should stop. Not only was it not true, they didn't even discuss it with me but was in fact speading the rumor themselves. Afterwards they actually went to the supermarket and forbid my friend from coming to my home, and she has since relented. Mind you, even if we were in a relationship, this woman is in her mid thirties and single. Apparently every teacher at school knows and suspects, and I have been receiving an endless supply of cold shoulders. I was lectured about the necessity of learning Korean culture (if I had illicit sex when I was married it would have been okay I guess).
Basically they have crossed the line and infiltrated my private life in a town where I already cannot hide. Therefore, work has become most unpleasant, and I see no reason to continue the job after the end of the semester. There are also other reasons why, which actually involve my JOB, but this posting is long enough for now. I will discuss these issues with the owner of the school, and I would appreciate any input to this matter that would be useful for when I go to this meeting. Thank you

matthews_world · Joined: 15 Feb 2003

Ah, the ins and outs of working in another culture. All I have to say is good luck to ya.

just because · Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964

thaitom · Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Location: Phopphra, Thailand

Happenstance Man again. Thanks for your justifications. After being s^^t upon and considered immoral by the people in the school for so long, I appreciate the support. I believe that anything I did is tame compared to the average Korean man's infidelities.
Since the school came, my Supermarket lady 'friend' has changed. She says, 'I am Korean woman, you are American man' and keeps me at arms length due to pressure from her family. Like an episode of 'The invasion of the body snatchers'. Terrible. Thanks again

pet lover · Joined: 02 Jan 2004 Location: not in Seoul

This kind of thing is normal in a small town here. Just be glad that you aren't a woman--trust me; you would have even less privacy and virtually no freedom. I try not to get into towns with fewer than 100,000 and even within those, it can be a real nightmare.

How would you like it if the druggist notified your boss that you are buying birth control pills, and therefore, sleeping around and proving yourself to be a *beep* with no morals and therefore unfit to be a children's teacher?

How would you like to have your apartment routinely inspected, the contents of your fridge examined and criticized? Or to be told to stop openly flirting with married men when all you've done is tried your best to get away from the drunk men leering, making suggestive comments, and grabbing parts of your body?

Or, to be told that, you may not be outside at a certain time of night for any reason at all?

There's the getting grabbed in the street by old women who want to confirm whether or not "they" are real. These would be the same old women who rummage through your bags as you are leaving the supermarket so that they can talk about what you've bought.

Or to have your medical history gossiped about in the entire town and it's all based on facts because your doctor started the gossip?

Or to be told by your boss that you are not permitted to smoke? And you don't, but the supermarket clerk informed your boss that you bought a cigarette lighter--he just doesn't know that you need it to melt the wax on the hook you want to put on your wall.

And how about getting told that you need to learn to show appreciation for your stalker. After all, it's ROMANTIC that he follows you everywhere, climbs the trees outside to try to look in your window, phones you up constantly at home and at work and when he grabs you and starts pulling you into his car, he's only expressing his love for you and you are just a foreigner, but he's a Korean, so you should appreciate your great luck that he is paying any attention to you at all. And why would you think that small town cops would be no help at all? They are always willing to come down hard on one of their own.

That's being a foreign female teacher in a small town in Korea. I'm sure some of that applies to men as well.

If I were in your situation, I WOULD quit and I'd go work somewhere bigger where people aren't so bored with their own lives that they have to mess around with other people's. I DID quit the job where all of the above happened and I was certainly much happier when I got away from that place.

yes, I love Korea==but that is partly because I am much better about not getting myself into those kind of situations anymore. Small towns are not for me (not in any country).

crazylemongirl · Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...

I live in a town of about 100,000 but it's not too far from seoul so it's 'kind of' small town korea and this stuff sounds pretty familar. You gotta keep your wits about you as people are watching you all the time.

My rules for living in a small town are:

1. You are highly visible so everything you do is highly visible. Don't do anything you wouldn't want reported back to your boss. Ie. if you have a health concern go to another city to get it checked and get your prescription filled out there too.

2. Don't date anyone local unless you are 100% sure that its going to go all the way (ie. marriage). Your relationship is going to be under a constant microscope. And the parents are going to find out all most immediatly.

3. Don't date anyone of color. Anyone who has enough skin color to be thought of as 'african' = not worth the headaches unless its going all the way.

4. Unless you are married you probably shouldn't procure anything 'nether region' related local. I would buy Tampons, condoms, birthcontrol, pregnancy tests somewhere else. Pads you can buy local.

5. Your students are everywhere and you might not even see them. Due to the number of students you have, public school teachers, in particluar shouldn't do anything they wouldn't do at work in public. Eg. smoking, wearing revealing clothing, PDAs. Outside of their apartment.

6. Unless in a big group avoid the local bars. If there is trouble leave ASAP.

7. 'Overnight guests' comings and goings are noted. So you have to be extra cautious there.

8. Your going to have to remember to lock your doors and close your curtains as people do look in.

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

Wow!

"if I had illicit sex when I was married it would have been okay I guess"

That's a funny aside.

PolyChronic Time Girl · Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Location: Korea Exited

My God, this ghost town sounds like hell.....where is it? I thought I had it bad in Cheongju!

hellofaniceguy · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: On your computer screen!

You can bet a dollar and make a million...small town or not...the majority of korean men are shagging women other than their wives in your small town! And going to massage places, singing rooms, room salons, and barber shops.
How two faced are people and hypocrites!
They are just jealous!
I'd tell them to "F" off and stay out of my life...it ain't none of your business who I see! Korean "culture" be dammed. Culture...yeah right! Is it culture to be two faced, back stabbing nosey old maids?
And if the guys are stepping out...it stands to reason the women are also! Unless all the guys are gay!

joe_doufu · Joined: 09 May 2005 Location: Elsewhere

This sucks! I had a similar experience in a small town in Taiwan. It's as if you're expected, like Mickey Mouse, to never say a curse word or smoke without first going backstage and taking off your costume.

My suggestion: try a costume!

prosodic · Joined: 21 Jun 2004 Location: ��

My suggestion: sue for slander and defamation of character.

In Korea, according to Korean law, it doesn't matter if it's true or not. If it was said or written, and if it negatively affects your reputation, then it is slander and you can take them to court and win big money.

If you want to be nice about it, then remind people of this fact which most of them, if they are educated, probably already know. Letting them know that you know this aspect of Korean law will probably be enough to get them to stop.

Alias · Joined: 24 Jan 2003

A Korean man with a white women = Stud.

A Korean woman with a white man = Race Traitor.

Gopher · Joined: 04 Jun 2005

[deleted]

turtlepi1 · Joined: 15 Jun 2004 Location: Abu Dhabi, UAE

hmmmm...Koreans are REALLY serious about violating privacy and there are a lot of laws about it. No Private eye's etc (at least investigating personal lives) It is part of the reason the sex industry is able to thrive.

Too bad you didn't know someone in seoul that knew Korean.
Sounds like there is a really good scolding for all invloved if not a law suit for invading your privacy. (mind you that protection probably only extends to Korean nationals) Twisted Evil

Derrek · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

First of all, I'd find a way out of this town ffaaassst., but that's just me.

Second, I'd sit my boss down and set him/her straight on the fact that you are being discriminated against and treated differently because you are a foreigner. Give him examples and tell him/her that you want out. You don't like working here, and that the town is just not mature enough to handle having a foreigner around. Your personal space has been violated, and you're being treated like an alien from space. In short, tell him/her that you are wasting your time somewhere that is just not enjoyable at all. Kindly ask for a release and go elsewhere. Don't expect it to get any better. You're just wasting your time there.