Korean Job Discussion Forums

kermo · Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:02 pm Post subject:

I've met quite a few Australian and English guys with a sense of humour bordering on abusive. I don't hold it against them, but I'm far too thin-skinned to date them, I fear (probably due to my defenseless Canadianity Wink

.) It might be personal, and it might be cultural. Choose what you can live with.

periwinkle · Joined: 08 Feb 2003

It's all good now. Thanks for your advice, you guys. We had a major talk, and he said F-u because during our fight, I had made the comment that I didn't appreciate his f-ing joke, so he responded in kind. I have a potty mouth, and stuff like that punctuates my sentences all the time (in anger or not), but this time it really bugged him. I acknowledged that I have to tone down my sailor talk. It's funny, though, because he brought-up a laundry list of things that bother him, which were not major things, IMO (e.g. I use too much butter and salt; I should exercise on a regular basis, etc. I use a normal amt. of butter and salt as per the average HEALTHY western diet, and even though I don't work-out, I walk everywhere and take the stairs whenever possible, which is more than I can say for him). I thought the bad language was an issue, but now he says he doesn't really care. The things that I thought he would bring-up, he didn't (e.g. the nightly glass of wine when I get home from work doesn't bother him, and the certain things I won't let him "do" to me, if you catch my drift, are understandable in his book). Heh- I'll take the wine over the butter any day Wink

I told him I'm not changing my diet for anyone (then he told me I'm too cut and dry. i'll just tell him straight up how it is with me, and I think he would like me to be more "indirect" as per k culture. Then he told me he likes my honesty, and that I am direct. Confused

). Told him it would be like asking him to cut down on the red pepper consumption. God, I'm 31, not 65, and my health is perfect.

I think he was trying a new tactic to exercise control over me, and I called him on it. I'll see how it goes- I'm not in the dark about these things. Wedding's not til Oct.

the_beaver · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

the saint · Joined: 09 Dec 2003 Location: not there yet...

canadian_in_korea · Joined: 20 Jun 2004 Location: South Korea

Its nice to know everything worked out for you periwinkle.. Very Happy

I would most definately say that Koreans have a different sense of homour than most of us westerners do, I made it clear from the beginning what type of jokes I didn't find very funny. Again I'm glad everything is okay for you... Very Happy

Leslie Cheswyck · Joined: 31 May 2003 Location: University of Western Chile

Clean up your language!!!??? Admittedly it is better we all should refrain from foul language. However, while your profane statements were not directed at your BF, his FU was directed at you.

And what? In exchange for him "letting" you eat and drink what you want and promises never to "go there" with you...hell most of us find ourselves in that situation simply by staying out of prison.

periwinkle · Joined: 08 Feb 2003

JongnoGuru · Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep

periwinkle · Joined: 08 Feb 2003

pegpig · Joined: 10 May 2005

Perhaps you should have put the fact that you're a bit of a potty mouth into your initial post. I don't know you, but from the initial post I got the sense that you were a bit on the prissy side of things. Oh my gosh! He swore at me. But, then you've been using foul language all along. People who use that kind of language often get a little carried away with the colourful choice of vocabulary when they're angry. I know I have, and I'm guessing you have also. But, when he does it, it's a major crime. Where are those pictures of pots/kettles when we need them?

JongnoGuru · Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep

periwinkle · Joined: 08 Feb 2003

kermo · Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject:

I'm not much of a brawler, and would hate to find myself with a guy who raised hell when ticked off, but there are far worse things to say than "F* off." It's nice and generic, yet cathartic. I've heard it directed at me, and I guess I've hurled it a few times myself (I have dreams sometimes where I say this to my close family members, but have rarely been that bold in actuality). I think if you're not too squeamish to use it as an adverb or an adjective in everyday speech or in the heat of the moment, you're probably tough enough to take it when aimed at point-blank.

the saint · Joined: 09 Dec 2003 Location: not there yet...

canadian_in_korea · Joined: 20 Jun 2004 Location: South Korea

So what you are saying is that he has a long list of things that "bother" him about you....you don' t like it that he is controlling ....and pehaps the two of you aren't completely compatible in the 'intimate' aspect of your relationship..? If I were you, I'd be having that serious talk long before October.