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watching kids go down the wrong road
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 4:23 am    Post subject: watching kids go down the wrong road Reply with quote

One of my cutest, sweetest kids comes from a dirt poor family. Last year, he was the only kid in a winter shirt and tie waiting for his summer shirt to arrive.. I often see the teachers packing leftovers from lunch into his bag so it's obvious he comes from a very poor family. The kid is total wangta once some of the other students threw him out he window of his classroom and he often sports black eyes. But he's is always so pleasant and sweet.

I found out today that he was found trying to lift his homeroom teachers wallet. My minder remarked that he doesn't live with his parents, just his grandparents. It's sad that I see him going down a road to prison as he's such a sweet little guy.
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Mr. Literal



Joined: 03 Jul 2003
Location: Third rock from the Sun.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 4:33 am    Post subject: Re: watching kids go down the wrong road Reply with quote

crazylemongirl wrote:
One of my cutest, sweetest kids comes from a dirt poor family. Last year, he was the only kid in a winter shirt and tie waiting for his summer shirt to arrive.. I often see the teachers packing leftovers from lunch into his bag so it's obvious he comes from a very poor family. The kid is total wangta once some of the other students threw him out he window of his classroom and he often sports black eyes. But he's is always so pleasant and sweet.

I found out today that he was found trying to lift his homeroom teachers wallet. My minder remarked that he doesn't live with his parents, just his grandparents. It's sad that I see him going down a road to prison as he's such a sweet little guy.


In no way, shape, or form am I condoning his behavior. If he is really that poor, though, this is called survival.
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ilovebdt



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Location: Nr Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 4:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi CLG, I hear you.

There were two kids on a playscheme I worked on one summer and you could tell they just weren't being looked after. The organiser of the playscheme went round to their house and spoke to their parents, but we saw no drastic improvement. All we could do was make their time on the playscheme as fun and as memorable as possible.

Have any of the Korean teachers been to his house to talk to his grandparents?

In the meantime, I suppose the only thing you can do is to be as nice to him as possible without making it look like you are singling for special attention, which would make the other kids pick on him.

I hope those children who threw him out of the window were severely punished.

Good luck!
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Wrench



Joined: 07 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One incident doesn't mean that he is going to turn into a criminal when he is older. I came from a poor background and I didn't end up a criminal, I thank the strong ethical and moral values that my grandmother taught me.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wrench wrote:
One incident doesn't mean that he is going to turn into a criminal when he is older. I came from a poor background and I didn't end up a criminal, I thank the strong ethical and moral values that my grandmother taught me.


no one incident isn't going to make him a criminal. But this coupled with, a poor background and the way kids treat wangta here, his life is going to be difficult in a land where relationships with your peers dictate your life chances.
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Dan The Chainsawman



Joined: 05 May 2005

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CLG like it or not you may be in a position to impact the little rotter's life. I would certainly push for a visit round to his house.

In America there is a plethora of child related programs, in some cases far to many programs. In Korea this seems woefully lacking, which can be viewed as good or bad depending on your particular viewpoint.

However, given the Korean respect, or supposed Korean respect for the family structure I would hope that a visit to his Grandparents might tip the scales.

A reminder to all involved, he is a kid, and by golly they do stupid things on occasion. Its part of growing up and learning about how the world works.
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Mr. Literal



Joined: 03 Jul 2003
Location: Third rock from the Sun.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 7:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dan The Chainsawman wrote:
CLG like it or not you may be in a position to impact the little rotter's life.


And, like it or not, you may not be able to affect any change in his life. If not, don't take it personally. And if you can, that's wonderful.

Either way, love him while he's with you.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are lots of socially conscious civic groups out there, especially around universities. I have no way of figuring out how to find one but maybe someone else does... Many uni 'circles' spend time with the elderly and the poor. Worth a look into if anyone can figure out how to make a contact.
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Yu_Bum_suk



Joined: 25 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a sad story. Did he get caught by staff trying to lift the wallet? Hate to think what happened to him if he did. If you can communicate with him at all or find a Korean staff memeber who is sympathetic and can help maybe just taking him aside and saying that stealing is wrong, but you'll help him out from time to time if he has trouble, may be the way to go. Even merely knowing that there's a teacher who really cares about him may help him go a long way.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't have anything to do with the pastoral care of students and neither should I. Stricly the job of the korean teachers. I just get to see it.
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FUBAR



Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: The Y.C.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dan The Chainsawman wrote:
CLG like it or not you may be in a position to impact the little rotter's life. I would certainly push for a visit round to his house.

In America there is a plethora of child related programs, in some cases far to many programs. In Korea this seems woefully lacking, which can be viewed as good or bad depending on your particular viewpoint.
.


At my previous school they had programs to help out the kids. The really poor ones did not have to pay for lunch. The school also had a program/fund set up to provide computers for 3-4 needed children. I know of a few times where the lady I drove with would go to student's homes if they deemed it neccessary. Maybe it just extends to the middle school level or just to a certain school board. I know they really looked after this one girl whose mother was murdered by her husband and she lived witih her aunt out of neccesity. However, I think alot of the help she received was given because of the kindness of the teachers and not from the school itself.
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Zyzyfer



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

crazylemongirl wrote:
I don't have anything to do with the pastoral care of students and neither should I. Stricly the job of the korean teachers. I just get to see it.


That's pretty harsh to say. If it wasn't for a couple of teachers in high school looking out for me and pushing me to try harder, I would've never went to university and I would've never seen anything else that the world has to offer. I hold those two teachers in the highest respect for the care they gave me, and always will.

You know nobody else is going to do anything genuine to help him, but you could make a difference. Give it a shot.
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margaret



Joined: 14 Oct 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ilovebdt wrote:
Hi CLG, I hear you.

There were two kids on a playscheme I worked on one summer and you could tell they just weren't being looked after. The organiser of the playscheme went round to their house and spoke to their parents, but we saw no drastic improvement. All we could do was make their time on the playscheme as fun and as memorable as possible.

Have any of the Korean teachers been to his house to talk to his grandparents?

In the meantime, I suppose the only thing you can do is to be as nice to him as possible without making it look like you are singling for special attention, which would make the other kids pick on him.

I hope those children who threw him out of the window were severely punished.

Good luck!


I wouldn't worry about special attention getting him picked on. If he's already being picked on, it might cause the kids to give him a little respect. I would be super nice to him and even see if you could invite him for a meal occasionally as well as enlist any help possible from Koreans and authorities.
Can anyone tell me what a wangta is?
Margaret
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

crazylemongirl wrote:
I don't have anything to do with the pastoral care of students and neither should I. Stricly the job of the korean teachers. I just get to see it.

I disagree.

A condition of my contract renewal was to offer free tuition (a seat basically) to a boy whose grandmother had just pulled him out of the hagwon because she couldn't afford it anymore, raising him by herself. I gave everyone in his class a birthday present on their birthdays last year but this one boy I paid extra to get a good gift (handheld computer game). His class gets surprise treats at the end of class of milk and muffins simply because I wanna feed the skinny little kid with no parents or siblings. The whole class just thinks they are my favourite class, and in a way they are.

HELP if you want, or don't if you don't want to. It isn't a case of obligations. You don't have to. BUT don't tell others that they shouldn't get involved.

We all do our little part to make the world a better place. To each their own.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I wouldn't worry about special attention getting him picked on. If he's already being picked on, it might cause the kids to give him a little respect. I would be super nice to him and even see if you could invite him for a meal occasionally as well as enlist any help possible from Koreans and authorities.
Can anyone tell me what a wangta is?
Margaret

The korean teachers are well aware of his situation (they are the ones who pack his bag with leftovers from school lunch)

The korean teachers also know that he is Wangta. It's kind of like a social outcast but means so much more here.. Here there are very few cliques, you are either part of the group or not. Middle school is when the pack mentality is really beat into the kids. Wangta aren't really considered people and the kids are really rough on them. I don't think they take a very tough stance on bullying here until kids or property really get damaged (emtional doesn't really count).

Quote:
HELP if you want, or don't if you don't want to. It isn't a case of obligations. You don't have to. BUT don't tell others that they shouldn't get involved.

We all do our little part to make the world a better place. To each their own


Great for you. I have 1,200 teenage students, and beileve me he isn't the only one with a sob story to tell. And those are just the ones I know about. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't see a kid sobbing in the teachers room. In this case he has very low english skills so communciation is a big problem and I know I'm not able to help him much aside a smile and the odd bit of candy when he's in class where I see him once a week.

The school is dealing with him, it's not my job to go in and offer pastoral care which may run counter to what the school has put in place. At the moment they are excluding him from classroom activities. He also has to complete his work outside in the corrider. Lavishing extra attention on him isn't going to win him any friends nor me any with the adminstration.
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