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eleruen
Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Location: Bundang, South Korea
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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 Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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| jaderedux wrote: |
BTW....I AM NOT A FREAKING WHITE HORSE, BEIGE HORSE OR ANY KIND OF HORSE AND I HAVE NEVER EVER IN THE YEARS I HAVE BEEN HERE HEARD ANY WESTERN MAN OR WOMAN REFER TO MALES THAT WAY. THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. 
And don't come whining about float like a butterfly ...blah blah blah....it is not the same and you know it. So you can go __________ and the horse, white or otherwise, you rode in on!
Jade (the non-equine variety) |
Isn't it the man being referred to as the horse? I think some women really look sexy riding horses. Anyone remember that old Melissa Etheridge album cover?
Peace in Christ, Ezekiel 23:20 |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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I miss Rike. She cracked me up. |
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jaderedux
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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| The Lemon wrote: |
| jade wrote: |
| I however was raised to be polite but I will NOT be a doormat... I went over and cooked some western spagettii for them and his mother complained about my cooking. |
Good to hear. But - forgive the personal question - when your mother-in-law starts in on her cooking critiques, why doesn't your husband tell her to go pound sand?
I'd be unthinkable for one of my parents to criticize my wife's cooking. But it'd be mind-explodingly unponderable for me to sit there and say nothing if they actually ever did it. |
EXACTLY, he is not western. To jump on his mother would be disrespectful. He is decent human being but it is still hard for him to stand up to his parents.
He generally gentle and soft spoken and his mother is well sometimes a tyrant...He won a helluva battle when he married me. And he was steadfast in that.
Yes, to you it seems unthinkable for him to let his mother critizize me but to him it is a true dilemma. So we pick our battles. I now STEADFASTLY refuse ever to cook for them in any way. Husand tells his mother that since my cooking is so bad they shouldn't want it anyway. I laugh, she fumes. He is placid as he has not been disrespectful as I have agreed to the plan.
I understand what you are saying but it just isn't the same.
oh BRAVO for you for sticking up for your wife. YOU ROCK! She is lucky woman!
Jade |
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dogbert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: Killbox 90210
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 1:35 am Post subject: |
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One can whinny and neigh all day long about not being a white horse, but then you haven't heard how some Korean men speak sexually about white women and the regard they hold them in.
Aren't most of you 20-something liberal arts grads? Didn't you learn all about gender and racial politics and theory? |
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peemil
Joined: 09 Feb 2003
Location: Koowoompa
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 2:29 am Post subject: |
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Jade wrote:
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| To jump on his mother would be disrespectful. |
It'd hurt too. |
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astroboyfan
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:14 am Post subject: |
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| dogbert wrote: |
One can whinny and neigh all day long about not being a white horse, but then you haven't heard how some Korean men speak sexually about white women and the regard they hold them in.
Aren't most of you 20-something liberal arts grads? Didn't you learn all about gender and racial politics and theory? |
And that is just "western" men, just think how bad it is with Korean men  |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:29 am Post subject: |
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Think you could handle this fine filly? Looks a bit feisty, but I'm sure ajosshi could tame her.
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sistersarah
Joined: 03 Jan 2004
Location: hiding out
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:46 am Post subject: |
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i guess i got quite lucky, too. my husband fought his parents for 6 long months to marry me (oldest son).
now things are great. his parents, especially his dad, really like me. at first i thought their refusal to meet me was because they were racists. it was a bad six months. when they finally agreed to meet me, it turns out they're just small town people who never met a foreigner and didn't know what to expect. not racist at all.
i really hate hearing korean men get bashed because i think my husband is the best human being i've ever met, of any race. he's not a *beep* or a mama's boy. he's an independent thinker with all the respect for me in the world, and more.
but he is the only korean man i've ever been with, so i can't add much on korean dating trends. i won't start making broad generalizations, like the OP.
all i can do is wish her better luck next time.
Good luck! |
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astroboyfan
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:53 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
Think you could handle this fine filly? Looks a bit feisty, but I'm sure ajosshi could tame her.
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bareback? |
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jaderedux
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:57 am Post subject: |
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| dogbert wrote: |
One can whinny and neigh all day long about not being a white horse, but then you haven't heard how some Korean men speak sexually about white women and the regard they hold them in.
Aren't most of you 20-something liberal arts grads? Didn't you learn all about gender and racial politics and theory? |
No not 20 something....and no not liberal arts grad....and um...being hispanic and a woman I got to learn about the freaky side of race and gender politics first hand.
Have a nice day.
Jade |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 4:11 am Post subject: |
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| sistersarah wrote: |
i guess i got quite lucky, too. my husband fought his parents for 6 long months to marry me (oldest son).
now things are great. his parents, especially his dad, really like me. at first i thought their refusal to meet me was because they were racists. it was a bad six months. when they finally agreed to meet me, it turns out they're just small town people who never met a foreigner and didn't know what to expect. not racist at all.
i really hate hearing korean men get bashed because i think my husband is the best human being i've ever met, of any race. he's not a *beep* or a mama's boy. he's an independent thinker with all the respect for me in the world, and more.
but he is the only korean man i've ever been with, so i can't add much on korean dating trends. i won't start making broad generalizations, like the OP.
all i can do is wish her better luck next time.
Good luck! |
My husband is the eldest son too.. but this is his second marriage, so his mother didn't really worry about it all that much. Plus she really disliked her first DIL, so I think all other women, other than her first DIL, were good for her.. lol..
I was also lucky in that my MIL worked with foreigners in her youth ....... she was in her late-teens, early 20s when the Japanese war ended and there were some missionaries in Korea teaching kids. My MIL helped out at a local school, so foreigners to her were nothing new.
Having said that, sistersarah, I think your and mine are fairly rare cases.. that are on the increase, however. I do know that there are many other women who were not able to marry their Korean bfs because of their position in the family or the close-mindedness of the family. It sucks and I think we should count ourselves lucky and sympathise with the OP instead. |
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hellofaniceguy
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: On your computer screen!
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 4:28 am Post subject: |
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All the years I have spent in korea....I can count on one hand the marriages between koreans where the woman is happily married. And I have met many married korean women over the years. I speak the language pretty well koreans tell me...and I have known many many couples where the woman is not happy.
I think that a foreign woman married to a korean is more likely to have more headaches when compared to Americans, Canadians, Australians, etc. who are married to each other.
The divorce rate between koreans only proves this...and it's usually because of the korean male.
Korean women HATE the thought of having to cook on holidays for the outlaw MIL's! And yet...these same MIL's ALSO hated the same thing...yet...they want their DIL's to also suffer! Go figure!
It has NOTHING to do with culture...it's about being a jerk. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 5:52 am Post subject: |
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I tried to read @#$% your link.? But there were so many question marks after every sentence? That I got irritated? and gave up? |
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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 7:09 am Post subject: |
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| jaderedux wrote: |
| dogbert wrote: |
One can whinny and neigh all day long about not being a white horse, but then you haven't heard how some Korean men speak sexually about white women and the regard they hold them in.
Aren't most of you 20-something liberal arts grads? Didn't you learn all about gender and racial politics and theory? |
No not 20 something....and no not liberal arts grad....and um...being hispanic and a woman I got to learn about the freaky side of race and gender politics first hand.
Have a nice day.
Jade |
Wow... you're hispanic? You sure didn't look hispanic when we met!
Not doubting you, just surprised. |
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