Korean Job Discussion Forums

[periwinkle]

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[JacktheCat]

[igotthisguitar]

[jajdude]

Do turtles ever wear people-neck sweaters?

Do animals ever eat people crackers?

Do dogs think it's a "person eat person" world?

When's the cat's away, and there are no mice around, who plays?

In China, do they say, "Like a bull in a shop?"

Do stereos have stereo stereotypes or just types?

Do rats simply call the daily grind a race?
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These are fun....

[alicat_blue]

these are all hella funny

[alicat_blue]

please tell me more

[jajdude]

Which type of checkers do the Chinese play?

Can a woman wear her heart on her sleeve when she's wearing a dress?

If you don't feel like going to a restaurant, can you eat your heart in?

What if you go to a formal affair and are only dressed to the eights?

Should amputees be angry if something costs an arm and a leg?

They say a good man is hard to find, but I've noticed John Goodman is really quite big.
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(well, I'm trying...)

[pegpig]

While we're on the Carlin topic:

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could
it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

[Sleepy in Seoul]

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Do you remember the little black boxes on aeroplanes that are indestructible? Why don't they just make the entire aeroplanes out of the same material?

If petrol stations are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

And, from the inestimable Steven Wright:

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

What are imitation rhinestones?

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If you are in a spaceship that is travelling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Why do you see babies at the beach? What have they done to earn a vacation?

[Bulsajo]

I'm still looking for a bumper sticker of my favorite Carlin line:

Ever notice how everyone who drives faster than you is a jackass while everyone who drives slower is an idiot?

[igotthisguitar]

[pegpig]

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out?"

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

What's the opposite of opposite?

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same tune?

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why is it that a boxer stands up to get knocked down and a woman lays down to get knocked up?

[pegpig]

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and
there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

[pegpig]

I hope nobody's getting sick of these yet. I think I have one more batch stowed away.


Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still there?

Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's arse."

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

[pegpig]

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?