Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ed]

I heard a joke the other day and at first I thought "that's not funny" and later I thought "that was a stupid joke" and still later I thought about it some more and I began to laugh because I thought "it's so stupid it's funny".


I told this joke to my korean wife and days later she still says it's not funny at all.

what do you think?

John was sitting on a park bench and Bill walked up and sat down.
John looked ever and shocked said "good god!, why do you have a giant purple head?"

Bill said "I was walking on the beach one day and saw an old bottle in the sand. I picked it up and rubbed it and a genie popped out. "for releasing me I will give you three wishes." "okay, my first wish is to have a billion dollars." poof! he had a billion dollars.
"my second wish is to be the smartest man in the world." poof! he became the smartest man in the world.

John said "so how in the world did you end up with a giant purple head?"

"I used my third wish to wish for a giant purple head."

[Bulsajo]

Not funny. And it's the second time that joke has been posted on this board this week.

[coldcrush]

[mithridates]

This one's my favourite:

[tomato]

There was a lonely maiden sitting by the cinders.
A fairy godmother appeared in a cloud of smoke.
"I'll grant you three wishes," she said.
"My first wish is to be a princess."
Poof! The lonely maiden changed into a beautiful princess.
"My second wish is to live in a palace."
Poof! The wretched hovel changed into a magnificent palace.
"My third wish is for that cat over there to change into a prince."
Poof! The cat changed into a handsome prince.
The prince walked up to the maiden and said, "Now aren't you sorry you took me to the vet?"

[Harvard Material]

What do you call a black man sitting in the cokpit of an aircraft? :shock(pardon the spelling; cockpit is apparently censored...)

[The Man known as The Man]

[mindmetoo]

Rene Levesque dies and goes to heaven. He's before the pearly gates. He's about to step through the gates when St Peter slams the door shut.

"But I've been a good Catholic!" cries Levesque.

"Sorry," answers St. Peter. "New rule. French outside, English inside."

A joke that was only funny in the aftermath of the supreme court's ruling on Ford v. Quebec. The court struck down Quebec's "French only" sign law. In response, the Quebec government modified its sign law that signs outside were to be French only, but signs inside could have English (albeit that English had to be smaller than the French).

* * *

A joke from the old soviet days

A worker at a tractor factory saves and saves his money for 5 years and finally has enough to buy a Lada car. He goes to the Lada dealership and picks out a car. The dealer is writing up the contract and says "Your new Lada will be available for pickup in 14 months. Is that okay?"

"Sure, I guess," says the tractor factory worker. "But can you tell me if I should come in the morning or the afternoon?"

"Why does it matter? It's 14 months from now?"

"Well, I have to know because the plumber will be coming in the morning."

Apparently, soviets had developed an utterly black sense of humor to help them deal with life under communism, something we never really discovered about them in the west.

[chest rockwell]

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
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A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
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What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
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Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

[chest rockwell]

but wait theres more:

Man 1: Knock, Knock

Man 2: Who's there?

Man 1: It's me Johnny.

Man 2: Oh, hey man! Come on in, and have a beer.
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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.
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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?

A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
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So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder case in a remote field.
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A man walks into a bar

He drinks 6 Newcastles, 4 shots of Jack Daniels, hits on the waitress unsuccessfully, takes his wedding ring off, tried again and fails, drinks 3 more shots, drives home, beats his daughter for coming home late, and cries himself to sleep realizing that he hates his life.
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A duck walks into a bar...

Animal control is promptly called, the duck is then taken to a near by park and released.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies:

"I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existance and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
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Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
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How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?

You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.
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The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope? But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.
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A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''

The bear replies, ''I guess I will have a soda instead.''

So the bear and the bartender talk over nonalcoholic drinks all night about the reality of interspecies communication.

[Bulsajo]

In heaven, all the mechanics are German, the lovers are French, and the comedians are British.























In hell, all the mechanics are French, the comedians are German and the lovers are British.

[Beej]

[Beej]

A Korean man with limited English ability decides to take a vacation to the USA. He walks out of his hotel in LA and a taxi runs him over. He is hurt very badly, bleeding all over, and obviously will die. The taxi driver gets out of the cab, walks over to the Korean guy and asks " How are you?" The Korean guy looks up and says " Fine thank you, and you."

[Beej]

Three businessmen go to lunch; a Japanese, a North Korean and a South Korean. They all order the T bone steak. A few minutes later the waiter comes over and says " Excuse me gentlemen, but do to a shortage of beef, we are out of the steak. Please change your order." The Japanese man says " I am from Japan, What is a shortage? I have never heard of this." The waiter explains. The North Korean says " I am from North Korea, What is beef?" The waiter explains. The South Korean says " I am from South Korea, what is excuse me?"

[jajdude]

chest rockwell,

I read a few and was bored, then read more and was intrigued, kept reading and crapped in my pants. Damn it's messy.