Korean Job Discussion Forums

Cedar

Does your man stare more at other foreign women than at his own nationality of women? My husband (who is Tibetan and from a very remote area) sees a need to comment on --every-- foreigner (man and woman) he sees. He is constantly looking at them! He'll glance for an extra few seconds at a sexy Chinese girl, but he has to analyze the outfit, walk, and other various behaviors of the foreigners on the street-- I'm like, "They aren't important! They aren't movie stars, or politicians, or people we know. Who cares!!!" But he still does it, to some extent, even though I asked him to stop... and he's obviously looking and thinking even if he manages to hold more of it in. What's with that!

Has anyone else experienced this?

Bulsajo · Joined: 16 Jan 2003

No. Good thing- since we're in an extrememly multi-cultural environment we'd both have whiplash by now.
(But she sure catches me every time I surreptitiously check out a woman on the street! I swear to God it's an automatic response and not done with any conscious thought or motivation.)

You don't say in your post-
is he usually critical of or complimentary towards the people he is commenting on?
Do you figure it's a defense mechanism of some sort, or perhaps some way of 're-assuring' you?

Maybe it comes down to the fact that guys ogle- we just can't help it.

Cedar · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 7:05 am Post subject:

He is usually astounded, or fascinated... very rarely negative.

"Look at the way that guy walks!" (and he imitates it, and it's a swagger)
"That's the prettiest foreigner I ever saw"
"I like his mouth"
"We should buy you a bag like hers"

I sometimes feel like I am being assessed... am I as pretty/weird/whatever as other foreigners???

He really doesn't have much experience seeing a variety of foreigners.

I did mime him getting whiplash in America.

Bulsajo · Joined: 16 Jan 2003

Well, it just sounds a bit like a culture shock thing, doesn't it?
It sounds trite but enjoy sharing his discovery until the novelty of foreigners wears off.

Does he ever get Korean kids staring at pointing at him? At the two of you?
How does he react to that?

sillywilly · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Canada.

Thats the prettiest foreigner I ever saw? I hope he continues with: " Present company excluded.".

inkoreaforgood · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Location: Inchon

"I like his mouth".

Doesn't that worry you???

"He's got a pretty mouth".

Shocked

Hollywoodaction · Joined: 02 Jul 2004

Cedar · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:01 pm Post subject:

Don't worry... I've never seen my husband lacking anything in the way of attraction to females, or at least to one specific one!

I guess, yes, we could call it culture shock. This was on a trip to Shanghai.

Koreans usually think my husband is Korean, or maybe Japanese... so he won't get kids pointing at him here.

He's very visually oriented, very into aesthetics, so he comments on how lots of things look.

He DID NOT say "present company excluded" and that may have been part of the reason I rapidly boiled up to a point where I told him he should keep his comments to himself.

joe_doufu · Joined: 09 May 2005 Location: Elsewhere

Maybe my Korean (girl)friends take long looks at foreigners, but darn it, so do I. It's just so odd to see them and they do such funny, unpredictable things.

cheem · Joined: 18 Apr 2003

Hell, so do I. Observing foreigners here is like watching an episode of Desmond Morris's "The Human Animal". I don't mean that pejoratively, btw.

billybrobby · Joined: 09 Dec 2004

i do all the stuff that we foreigners hate koreans doing to us: looking, pointing, making comments, talking about them in korean while they're standing right there...

...my god, what have i become?

inkoreaforgood · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Location: Inchon

AdamH · Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:56 am Post subject:

waterbaby · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie

I come from family of big time people watchers. The are probably the biggest people watching folk in the universe. Our holidays were spent in a caravan, sitting by the window watching every person who walked past and commenting on their appearance, good, bad or indifferent. It's something I've grown up with. Even people on the telly - they might be telling the most gut wrenching story you've ever heard, but all you'll hear is "Gawd, look at her teeth!" or "Nice top - wonder where she got that.."

Unfortunately, I can't multi-task in the way that they can and have dinner with someone and take in what's going on at every table around me (my sister can - just had dinner with her this evening and she gave me a good run down on the people behind me who were there on their third date, colleagues who worked together rah rah rah). Hmmm, perhaps they just don't listen to me rabbiting on and pay attention to everyone else around them Shocked

But Cedar - to answer your question - yeah, my (Korean) husband does that quite a bit too, but not the extent that your husband does. Now that we're living in Australia, he likes to pay careful attention to the younger generation of teenage girls and young women and guess their ages as he has absolutely no idea Smile

What he thinks is 21 is really about 14, but he can't tell the diff - gaol bait for K-guys, I tell ya!!!

sistersarah · Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Location: hiding out

i see my husband stealing glances every once and a while. usually it's at pretty korean ladies in short skirts.

he doesn't make too many comments, but if he does, it's about foreigners. though not as specific as your husband, he'll say stuff like, she's really pretty, and i'll agree or disagree and that's that. he keeps comments about korean women to himself.
none of this bothers me because he more than compensates by complimenting me about a hundred times a day.