Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ya-ta Boy]

Thursdays are one of my busy days at work and I decided I'd earned my first trip to the local jjim jil bang...in the building on the south edge of town that looks like a set from Snow White and 7 Dwarves. You all know what I mean--those buildings that started showing up about 7 years ago and the Koreans insist are 'traditional' Korean architecture, but we all know are rip-offs from Walt Disney on one of his cocaine trips (or whatever his drug-of-choice was).

It turned out to be a bust. No mok-yok-tang. Just a couple of saunas and an extremely talkative attendant. I couldn't blame him. He seemed lonely as heck. I was the only one around and I haven't seen a car parked there the whole time I've been in town. The fountain outside the window was nice till I went out and saw that the water was shooting out of a scum-covered pool. What is it about small towns and scum-covered ponds?

So I decided to take myself out to dinner to the finest tang-soo-yook (sweet and sour pork) place I've found in Korea. This place serves the regulation platter, but with the pork piled triple deep and a bowl of the finest sweet and sour sauce ig enough for you to swim in. All for W18,000 (enough for me for 4 meals). On the way (3 miles from here) I realized I needed some cash, so stopped at a bank. Next to the bank was a flower shop. There were some gorgeous deep purple orchids in the window. On impulse, I stopped in and asked about the orchids. W25,000. Yikes, pi-sigh-yo.

Went on to supper and had a nice time with Mark Twain. As I was paying the bill, the only other customer came up and started to chat. He was difficult to understand because he was a Japanese engineer. Not that Japanese engineers are inherently difficult to understand; it's just that my ear is tuned to Korean ajosshis.

On the way out of town I decided to buy the orchid. It would put some color in a corner of my new apartment and the pot was even the right color. Who am I to pass up something like this?

I pull out a pen and a scrap of paper and am prepared to draw a picture of the sun and ask the ajumma if orchids need a lot of sun or just a little. I go in and she's delighted to see me back. I draw my picture. It's worked before a number of times. She starts yammering at me. I'm taken aback. My sun looks just like a sun. Why can't she understand? I step back and reformulate my approach. I draw another sun and a cloud covering half of it. Then I draw a cloud with a sun behind it. This should be fool-proof. It wasn't. She keeps talking to me a mile a minute and I have no clue.

In the end, I hand over W25,000 and she gives me W1,000 discount and I head out to the car. On the way I notice this plant feels remarkably light. I get in the car and set the plant down gently on the floor. I decide to pinch a leaf. It feels 'odd'.

I get home. I pinch again. Clearly the ajumma thought I was a fool asking how much sun an artificial flower needs.

[pet lover]

Had to think for a while before I could decide on an incidence of stupidity I'm willing to share here.

I bring my empty water bottles to school to fill them up. I'm not cheap--I'd gladly pay the boss for the water if he asked--I just don't like the waste of throwing away empty after empty after empty.

Anyway, I had two bottles with me. I opened them both and put the lids on top of the water cooler thingy. Filled one bottle. Closed it. Picked up the next bottle and the boss came out of his office. Started talking while I tried to open the next bottle. Kept twisting and twisting, but couldn't get the danged lid off. FInally remembered that I had already taken it off and it was on that dang water cooler thingy. And, my hand HURT.

[mithridates]

Hahaha, I did the exact same thing with a beer bootle before that had a tissue on the top - I thought that was to make the opening of it a bit easier on the hands. One turn, no good, another, nope, the 'cap' wasn't going anywhere. I was with a girl too and I thought I should just give it 100% or risk having my hand weaken from too many tries.

Um...but you know how the story ends. Ah, idiot. Cap's already off.

[mercury]

Okay, here it goes..........

I go to Carrefour, am using my gf's credit card, to get some money out, and it is a new kind of machine. I am reading the Korean signs, trying to figure out how to take out a cash advance, I finally figure it out, put in my card, then the korean instructions come up, I put in my pass word, amount, etc....


cash comes out, BUT, my card is no where to be seen!!!!!!!!!


I am hitting the red button, still my card is no where in sight!!!!!!!!!!!


I go, get an attendent, he calls the manager, THEN they call the bank machine attendent, I sit down, have a coke, wait...wait......after about 15 minutes this young guy rushes inside wearing a motorcycle helmit and a tie. He opens the machine, inside this small box there are at least a dozen credit cards that the machine kept! Well, none of them are mine,

THEN he takes out a special card, puts it into the machine, the machine takes the card, then spits it out, AND THEN DOES THE TRANSACTION!


I then realized that I was so concerned about being able to get money out, that I did not realize the machine gave me my card back! I opened my wallet, and there it was, the visa platnum card, and I smiled nervously..................... and bought the guy a coke.

[Red]

[VanIslander]

A girlfriend of mine used to water my dad's artificial plants... regularly.
It's a joke between my dad and I. (He'd empty the vase when she wasn't visiting)
He nor I ever had the heart to tell her.
It's indicative of what I liked most and least about her.

[Bo Peabody]

[pet lover]

Red said: Does looking like an idiot because it's part of the job of teaching English to small kids count?

Absolutely not! That's just being professional!!! Well, so long as it was done on purpose.

[korian]

i got a funny story too. i'd had stomach problems so i went to the hospital. got checks, scans, the works. so then i had to go get a poop test done. so i'm sitting at the desk in front of 3 nurses and with 10 other koreans waiting and milling around looking at the foreigner.

so the nurse gives me the little plastic container, takes the top off, hands it to me and starts running her finger round the rim. then starts looking at me sternly and, still pointing at the rim spits out 'dung, dung, yogi ae dung'

i'm really confused, thinknig i needed a poop test. all nervous with 100 eyes bearing down on me, i took the container and, looking at the nurse and all those around me, started licking around the rim of the container.

back and forth, up and down i'm licking this little container. this nurse is looking at me with mouth agape shouting 'dung, dung' so i lift my eyes up and point to my tongue, saying look look i'm doing it ok. i don't know why i have to lick this thing but don't make a spectacle out of me by shouting!!

finally she shakes her head, gives a korean 'chee' of frustration and grabs my hand and leads me to the restroom. points me in and says dung and points to my butt.

it was then i realised what she was saying.

oh the humiliation.

[fidel]

hahaha!

[waterbaby]

[periwinkle]

[seoulkitchen]

[lastat06513]

Not me, but...

I was walking from my home to the Itaewon subway station today in the pouring rain (9/30) and of course, I was carrying an umbrella so I don't get drenched.
Anyway, one of the umbrella salespeople saw me and said; "Do you want an umbrella?"

....since, I'm carrying one, do they think I need one?

[teachmeenglish]

Dude, You have no Idea how many times in India I got asked if I wanted a shoe shine --- While wearing Tevas