Korean Job Discussion Forums

[rawiri]

ive encountered this several times during my short life span in korea, one guy who was a regular at the pc bang i frequented was like " hello my name is mr bahkr....(or some thing) you me good friends, when i left he then insisted on giving me a ride home even though i live like 5 min from the pc bang, during the trip he then asked me " you like sex?, you like masterbation"?, with appropriate energetic gestures, after which he pulled out some cards with these naked korean chicks on them, he told me he's married, so im thinkin like wtf are you on?.

The second time was when i signed my contract and shook hands with my boss after signing my contract, his english consists of "hello", "see you tommorow" and "you and me we good friends", so how we are suppose to have any kind of friendship with his limited english ability other than exchanging pleasantries is kinda strange to me.

I heard before i came to korea that it takes years and years to establish friendships, but i dont know, the opposite seems true?, some feedback would be good.

[kangnamdragon]

Yes, it takes years to establish friendships. When they say "you and me good friends" it means they want to have a good relationship with you. They don't expect you to be their "chingu." I would say it is very difficult to make a true friendship with a Korean, but if you do it is well worth it.

[SweetBear]

Yeah, I'm trying to figure all this stuff out too. Because I'm not a male, I don't get invited out to drink Soju and find wHor*s by my boss like my male counterparts do (thankfully). It can all be a bit mind numbing and doesn't fair well in helping me adjust to the culture. I tried to make friends with a Korean female who told me that she has an American boyfriend who she likes to control, throws up when she eats and admits that most Korean men like to take whor*s but every Korean woman believes that her husband is different.
I'm hoping that I will find a Korean friend eventually, but right now prospects are slim.

[rawiri]

i guess im kinda lucky because i do have some genuine korean friends, one guy i met back in nz when i was fruit picking during varsity holidays, ive known him for about 6 years and hes a good friend of mine and all my mates back home, plus his family is from gwang ju, so it'll be cool when he comes back over to korea.

The other fella i regard as a good mate is a guy i met when i was fruit picking in aussie, we hit it off, travelled together for a while, and he was like "come to gwang ju, youll have a good time and make heaps of $", so i came over and his hospitality has been outstanding, ive met all his mates and it's all good.

but what i dont get is these dudes who you may have seen a couple of times, and have the balls to come up to you, chat a little and then state the " you me good friends" thing, like aside from the pc bang dudes homosexual overtones, what would be the point in me and him having a "good relationship", sheeeeesh, i got a friggin lot to learn about this place i guess

[sparkx]

My advice take it or leave it -- don't even both trying to make male Korean friends. They are a strange, strange breed.

[Tiger Beer]

In general, Korean men and Western men just don't connect socially.. just not on any level.. for all the reasons mentioned above..

Oddly, last night I was at a PC-Bang and some Korean man came up to me and said something along the lines that we could be good friends.. and whats my name.. and he has another american friend named Tom.. and maybe we could go out together.. and shook my hand a few times..

Not sure what this guy would be like.. but in general.. my experiences around Korean guys.. we have totally different social skills and ways to interact with people.. they WON'T let you sit and relax and drink your beer casually.. generally they will be all over you asking you questions you don't want asked.. trying to make you eat stuff and insisting you drink shot after shot with them until you puke kinds of things.. etc., etc., etc.

[richinkorea]

[saw6436]

Previous poster noted that Western men and Korean men could not have any kind of friendship. I do not believe that to be totally true. I have lived here since 1998 and have 3 really close Korean men friends. We all meet at least once a week for drinks and dinner. Go fishing together on the weekends. Our families take vacations together. We have even helped each other move.
Yes we do have some language teaching involved. They help me with my Korean and I help with their English. I have no problem with that. Just because we help each other with our language skills does not mean we are not "friends".
I also maintain dozens of less formal friendships with other Korean men and women. I don't think the nationality or culture is a barrier to friendship. Scrape away the language and culture and you find that we are all human with the same basic desires and needs.

[sparkx]

lil' Richard wrote:

[Butterfly]

[SeoulSearcher]

The moment I landed in the country I was living with four other Korean guys in a house smaller than what I would live in alone back home-I had a very steep learning curve, and it wasn't all smooth sailing.

That said though, I can now say that one of them has become a friend I will keep forever-more than that really, I consider him a brother.
But on the flipside, two of the other guys have absolutley shocked me with their total lack of awareness for the welfare of the people around them and I could never, under any circumstances, befriend them. I pity their future wives.

I guess it's the same everywhere in the world, there's good and bad-but the guy who says he's your best friend three minutes into the conversation is only interested in a novlety that he can show to his real friends, I would shake him pretty quick.

[andrew]

*****

[adventureman]

[Reflections]

From personal experience, I have found Korean males to be some of the most difficult people to make friends with. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but for reasons unknown we just didn't click. Also like another poster pointed out, they have tooo many questions in to short a period of time, so there is no time to relax.

Also, Korean males seem to lack that 'coolness factor' that is definetely evident with Japanese guys. Actually, to put it bluntly, I think Korean males have a huge chip on their shoulder.

I don't know whats causing it, maybe history wasn't favourable to them; or they think that every western male is after their women; regardless it seems to weigh them down. It definetely inhibits them. After living in Korea for sometime, I think that I will go home without any good male friends. But past caring, because I don't think that I am missing out on that much.

*I think that you can get to know people best when they are away from their home country so to speak. Travelling in Europe and Central America, I met an abundance of Japanese males and females travelling alone and in groups. In the hostels, they were open and friendly.

However, the few times that I encountered Koreans, they were in 'packs' segragated from the rest of the hostel; by their own doing of course. Also, kinda felt sorry for them in a way, going all that distance but hanging with the same people from the departure gate at Incheon....

[Ya-ta Boy]

Obviously, 'instant friends' are a problem, but aside from them I've had no real problem making good Korean friends. It's a crap shoot certainly. Korea has the same proportion of freaks as any other country.

Both at home and in Korea, people come in and out of my life constantly. Even though we try to keep in contact for a while, that decreases with time as each of us gets busy with new people.