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religious pest control
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The evil penguin



Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:21 pm    Post subject: religious pest control Reply with quote

Anybody know how to rids ones house from koreas most annoying pest.... the religious pamphlet giver....?????

Whether it's just my apartment block or the whole area I don't know, but the place seems currently infested with 'em....

Last week had a couple of wrinkled granny versions of 'em outside my door. I tried ignoring em but my guitar playing gave me away and they kept kept ringing the bell. They were so astonished when they saw a foreigner opening the door that their jaws dropped and and at least an hours application worth of make-up cracked off and fell to the floor.... I pleaded complete ignorance to the language and eventually they left.... An hour later...they're back. With a konglish speaking friend in tow to act as a translater..... A few mornings later there was ringing at my door again.... same old biddies and AGAIN astonished that a foreigner was opening the door..... Today the same thing. 8:30am. I'd had a late night and consquently feeling a wee bit shabby. My red eyes, stubbly face and hairy disgusting smelly body (still encrusted in peanut butter- don't ask, long story) clad in just a ratty pair of holey (ie- with holes- definitely not a religious or HOLY pair) torn and stained boxers seemed to work as an effective god-halmonie deterant and they were quick to leave. Ahhhhh problem solved.... or so I thought...... Nope. Hour later and there's my door bell again........ the grannies have been replaced by their business suited gold toothed husbands.....

is there a spray I can buy? the moggie man has been pumping his lovely toxic clouds around the block for the last few weeks but this doesn't seem to have any effect....
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Demonicat



Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ost pictures of satan on the door, and pour some karo and red food coloring in a pentagram shape in the hallway. That'll work
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Bulsajo



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just give them the Gene Simmons tongue-wiggle while flashing the 'Longhorns' signs. Then say something in English loud and fast, and slightly hysterical; It could be anything, for example- "please open your textbooks to chapter 10, page 32, and complete exercise 3a."

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baldrick



Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: Location, Location

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Come on penguin, you should just do as all civilized folk would - invite them in for scones and tea and entertain them with your acoustic version of kum bay yah, whilst one of your friends goes downstairs and sets fire to their car........

PS: the peanut butter. Did it A) involve a female, or B) involve being hungry and drunk. Just curious.


Last edited by baldrick on Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Freezer Burn



Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Location: Busan

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marilyn Manson always works for me, I have a DVD that I play behind me, once they see it they know I'm a lost cause, or I'll grab my boyfriend and kiss him in front of him (havent't tried that yet, but would be funny to see thier faces)
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Dan The Chainsawman



Joined: 05 May 2005

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The downside about the Korean bible bashers is they don't understand my statement, "I'm Jewish."

However they do understand me opening up the door in nothing but a towel. That tends to run them off.
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Moldy Rutabaga



Joined: 01 Jul 2003
Location: Ansan, Korea

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Learn a little of a foreign language and then pretend you don't speak any English. Or you could invent a new language; might be fun. I've found a few blank stares and "perdone, no entiendo tus parablas" said a few times has gotten rid of Jehovah's Witnesses pestering me in the subway malls.

Being a Christian already should keep them away, but it doesn't; it seems to make them more determined to 'convert' me. No use trying that.

Ken:>
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The evil penguin



Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moldy Rutabaga wrote:

Being a Christian already should keep them away, but it doesn't; it seems to make them more determined to 'convert' me. No use trying that.

Ken:>


What really bugs me is that they seem extra determined to convert the foreigners....... come on people- where did you get your religion from in the first place?..... Hang on.... maybe koreans invented Jesus as well as kimchi... helicopters... four seasons... telephones.....pop music..
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
However they do understand me opening up the door in nothing but a towel. That tends to run them off.


Dan beat me to it. I was going to suggest boxers.


PS: Dan: You are Jewish? I thought you said you are Korean.
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Lizara



Joined: 14 Apr 2004
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya-ta Boy wrote:
Quote:
However they do understand me opening up the door in nothing but a towel. That tends to run them off.


Dan beat me to it. I was going to suggest boxers.


PS: Dan: You are Jewish? I thought you said you are Korean.


I was going to suggest total nudity.
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teachmeenglish



Joined: 14 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

About one week after I first came to Korea, I took my leatherman tool, opened up the door bell button and cut the wire. Never had a problem since! And if you order pizza, you just leave your door open 1cm and you can hear them. Did the same to that stupid speaker on teh apt wall too.
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Dan The Chainsawman



Joined: 05 May 2005

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know many Koreans who are 6 foot brown hair and blue eyes Yata boy.

I stay away from the full nude as that can have other problems attached to it, you might get the old biddy coming back for more than a kum bay yah session.
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Dazed and Confused



Joined: 10 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My husband has a solution that works pretty well. We've got two small dogs. One is psycho and will bite at times. Whenever anyone comes and rings the door bell they go ballistic jumping up and down and barking at the top of their little doggy lungs. Well you get the picture. So...when the religious converters stop by my husband always tells them politely that we aren't interested and if they don't go away he threatens to open the door and set the dogs one them. Works every time. They never come back.
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pet lover



Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Location: not in Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also have two small white dogs that bark their little heads off whenever anyone knocks on the door. They are LOUD and will NOT shut up until the door is open so that they can slather the visitor with doggy kisses. This has worked in my favor numerous times. If I just open the door a crack, they continue to bark, lunge at the door, and really work themselves into a frenzy. They SOUND aggressive and whoever is at the door is afraid unless he/she knows them. Religion hawkers generally leave quickly.

Luckily, I now live in a building where you have to enter a security code in order to enter. And, since someone finally scrubbed the security code number off the wall next to the panel, no one gets in unless they live here or someone who lives here lets them in. NICE!
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tomato



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

On one such occasion, I looked up the word "evolution" on my pocket dictionary and told my visitors that that was what I believed in.

They were horrified.
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