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All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park U.S.Tourists
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bourquetheman



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:46 pm    Post subject: All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park U.S.Tourists Reply with quote

My mother sent me these and I laughed hard. This isn't meant as a flame thread, I'm sure there are ignorant Canadian tourists too!

(Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff!)

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' Tourist: "Oh".
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
23. We're on the decibel system you know.
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
27. Where do you put the animals at night?
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom."
Tourist: "Oh!"
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billybrobby



Joined: 09 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:31 pm    Post subject: Re: All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park U.S.Touri Reply with quote

bourquetheman wrote:

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?


these three were kinda lost on me.
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Hater Depot



Joined: 29 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:36 pm    Post subject: Re: All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park U.S.Touri Reply with quote

bourquetheman wrote:
1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"signs?


There's a deer who lives near my uncle's house who's learned to cross at the crosswalks. He even waits for the light to turn green.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to work at a gas station near the US/Canada border. Windsor/Detroit to be exact. Naturally I got asked for directions by Americans. I was always surprised at the number of Americans who a) thought they could drive from Ontario to Vancouver BC in a night b) wanted to buy a map of Canada to get to Toronto.

The weirdest one was a guy that wanted to buy a map of Canada. I assumed he wanted to go to Toronto. You don't need even a map of Ontario to get to Toronto. Just down the 401.

Anyway, I asked the guy "where do you want to go?"

"Capers".

Hrm that was a new one. Maybe that was a town south of London, on Lake Erie or something.

"Capers? Is that a town?" I asked.

"No, it's a bar."

Oh yeah. It was a popular bar in Windsor. Drinking age is 19 in Ontario and 21 in Michigan. Lots of American boy/Canadian girl couplings. (ObKorean Swipe: we don't mind foreigners on top of our women).

In my most polite tone, with just a hint of "stupid American!", I'm like "oh, you don't need to buy a map of Canada... I can just draw you a little map to the place..."

Jesus. Man had no idea he was in the second largest country in the world. How do you make a map that combines local scale with a hemisphere spanning scale? I dunno.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was teaching high school when I accepted my first job here in Korea. I pulled down the world map and showed them where South Korea is. In every single sophomore class (15-16 year olds), someone raised his/her hand and asked if I was going to drive. Shocked It's discouraging to know that some sophomores never grow up, isn't it?
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krats1976



Joined: 14 May 2003

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hee hee... funny.

Almost as good as the Americans who come to Alaska and ask what the exchange rate is, or where they go through customs. Or the ones who bring clothes for a warm climate because they think they're down by Mexico (cuz that's where it is on the map). Shocked
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periwinkle



Joined: 08 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where do you put the animals at night? Te he!!!!!! Must've been a question asked by a really little kid~ I hope...

Hosers....
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sistersarah



Joined: 03 Jan 2004
Location: hiding out

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i worked at a historic site (1812) near niagara falls for three summers. 90% of our customers were american and most of them really nice.
but most couldn't help cracking a few about the war. just smile and nod...

anyway, my favorite questions were:
- when do they turn off the falls?
- are these prices in american dollars?
- is that salt water out there? (lake erie)

we used to make a staff T shirt every year that said "tourist season" on the front with a picture of daffy duck and elmer fudd. on the back were the top dumbest questions. niagara parks commission put an end to that after a while.
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teachmeenglish



Joined: 14 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lived in Louise and Banff for 4 years and the sad truth is I've heard many of these or simmilar myself. One sad truth was that it was not just the Americans that were a bit ... uh ... uninformed. We used to laugh at teh Japanese tourists too. Hey cute bear... I want a picture with it... close to it... it is cute like hello kitty.... (I then inform them that it can sprint at 40km/h and its claws can rip off a car door, It is amazing how thier attitude changes)
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Hollywoodaction



Joined: 02 Jul 2004

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

teachmeenglish wrote:
I lived in Louise and Banff for 4 years and the sad truth is I've heard many of these or simmilar myself. One sad truth was that it was not just the Americans that were a bit ... uh ... uninformed. We used to laugh at teh Japanese tourists too. Hey cute bear... I want a picture with it... close to it... it is cute like hello kitty.... (I then inform them that it can sprint at 40km/h and its claws can rip off a car door, It is amazing how thier attitude changes)



Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

They still do that? I remember seeing them coming a bit too close to mountain goats, oblivious the the fact that being rammed by one of those cute critters is not unlike being kicked in the crotch by a steel-toed boot.

I've always believed that when someone gets hurt by a wild animal, there's usually a stupid human involved.

I also knew a guy who worked as a guide at a mountain in Jasper. He said a famous Hollywood actress had asked him where they hid the bulldozer that they use to level the top of the mountain (heck, you can't even pick a blade of grass without risking a fine. I wonder what kind of fine you'd get for defacing a mountain).

He also told me of some old lady who got her legs broken by an elk that bucked because she approached it from behind in the hopes of feeding it breadcrumbs.
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ilovebdt



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Location: Nr Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:50 pm    Post subject: Re: All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park U.S.Touri Reply with quote

19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

This is my favourite, but that's only because I am a Brit.
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Wrench



Joined: 07 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ironically I was thinking of geting a shirt that had British Columbia with the coat of arms on it.. I wonder how many people would be completly buffled by it.
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Newbie



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 10:52 pm    Post subject: Re: All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park U.S.Touri Reply with quote

billybrobby wrote:
bourquetheman wrote:

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?


these three were kinda lost on me.


1. Canadians don't have states, they have provinces. Furthermore, Jasper is not even one of those provinces. (it's just a city)
2. QUEBEC is the French speaking part of Canada. (it would be the equivalent of a Canadian going to Idaho and saying "is this where the large Hispanic population is?"
3. Ontario and B.C are on opposite ends (equivalent=Do I have to drive through South Carolina to get to California?)

I love the British pounds quote! A classic

The best quote in my experience "So you're from Toronto, are there many polar bears there?"

But my fellow Canucks, lets not get all high and mighty with this one. Ignorant people on both sides of the border.
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TJ



Joined: 10 Mar 2003

PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:58 am    Post subject: Different continent, same stupidity Reply with quote

The north of Western Australia is extremely rugged. There are two types of climate ... hot and very hot. Large areas are totally unpopulated. There are enormous areas where there are no roads, shops, telephones, fuel supplies or water.

Every year a couple of tourists get lost and die - usually from thirst and/or heat stroke. They break all the basic survival rules .... ie. they don't inform someone of their travel plans. They don't carry spare fuel or food and especially spare water. If their car breaks down they leave it and try to walk out. In short they break all the basic survival rules.

Sometimes their bodies are not found for a long time.

Recently a 63 year old German woman became separated from a tour group and still has not been found. Sadly she is probably dead by now.


Police and locals do all they can to find these careless tourists BUT something must be done to save these individuals from themselves.
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Tiger Beer



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was freshly out of University I worked for awhile in both Yellowstone National Park and Grand Canyon National Park. We had the same kind of 'stories' but mostly on Europeans or Japanese.

Yellowstone always had goofballs who'd throw their baby up on a buffalo before taking a picture of that - and yeah, major mishaps occured!

Sometime I'll look up all that stuff - but both parks published actual books on the dumb questions asked there.
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