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bitter_hag
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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 Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 3:38 am Post subject: Re: korean social scene, joe tofu is hopelessly confused |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
OK, i'm hopelessly confused. I'm making this post more for myself than for you guys, because I'm afraiad I waon't remember this isn the morning...
So I went to this New (apparently) hip hoppy club in ANyang first street area and it was cool at first, i was the only dude and there wer elike 20 chicks. so i bumped and grineded and had fun.. then the Korean kockplock squad aka the Korean Y cromosome showed up. i was walking tward this chick who i'd practically inseminated a few minujtes earlier and for some reason couldn't reach her. i kept getting close but there was always somebody in the way. then i realized the krorean guys were subtly blocking drunken tofu from his booty. i mean prize. i mean the chick.
eventually the guy girl ratio changed from 1:20 to about 175:20, so i left and went to the unfortunately named "black music hip hop club" down the street. there i felt ok.
one korean dude decided he didn't like foreigners and was going to fight me. after a couple of shoves and silly posturing, i told him he'd drunk too much and ought to go home. he elbowed me in the jaw. i considered my options and the quantity of his friends and realized he was trying to get me to hit him, so i did the manly thing and tattled. this one mexican-looking hip hop korean translated his "apology" but i asked is he 20,000 won sorry or 30,000 won sorry and it turned out neithe rone so he got kicked out because i wouldn't sheke his thand that was funny!
of course the girl iw as dancing with when the dude hit me woudln't speadk to me again... to o many koreans watching...
later on i got pretty tiered. i got a girls' number and she seemed cute but i really dont' rmemeber
then therw as a period where like 3 or 4 korean guys wanted me to bum p and grind with their girlfriends that was fun.. the second dudes girlfriend slapped me for dancing with the third guyS girlfriend and that was when i decided i was hopelessly confused and must post this post
the mexican looking korean dude told me to "F off homes, that's yo sheet" the second time the dude punched me and i tattled but at some point he came aroudjnd and said "sorry i was drunk really i love you and want to be your buddy" implying that my green eyes and yellow hair cure all sins. ok.
then i went home. it was raining. WTF? |
ROFL...you're one of the funniest white guys on this board (sadly, most of you are just irritating pricks).
Thanks for the laugh!  |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 5:30 am Post subject: |
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If that's really you Joe in your Avatar, then I want to punch you in the face too!  |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 5:33 am Post subject: |
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It's a day later and now I'm completely sober. It seems that in my confused state I typed the more silly experiences and didn't really mention the parts that surprised and confused me.
Really it was the ritualized nature of the Korean dance floor that weirded me out, plus I guess a first hand experience of the sort of racism African Americans probably get back home. At first I was dancing with a bunch of girls, and some of them seemed friendly, we exchanged names, etc. But what usually happened is that the girls' friends started to laugh, or push her toward me, clearly peer pressure to embarrass her into sticking to the Korean dudes.
Later on the dance floor this sort of gang rape ritual appeared. Sometimes when I dance I like to touch, hold hands, even "grind" as the young people say, but always in a natural and friendly way.
But natural and friendly was not the order of the day here. As I observed the Koreans, I noticed that men and women stayed in separate groups until a group of men would isolate and circle a woman... then one dude would proceed to "grind" in a nasty way with her... basically crotch to butt contact only. The more I saw it the more it looked like rape to me. The dudes were doing the selecting, not the girls, and they even had "lookouts" to fend off other guys.
When I tried dancing with girls it was strictly hands-off, none of that kind of friendly flirting was responded to, but occasionally we would come in contact (for instance, i would try to dance holding hands, or to twirl a lady around) and then instantly the chick would turn around, ass toward me, and start grinding on my crotch. I couldn't tell if she was supposed to be the piece of meat or if I was. It was totally devoid of romance. And then the girl would sort of point me at the ass of a friend and they'd pass me around. After this, they would move to another part of the dance floor and never even respond to eye contact the rest of the night.
Another thing that confused me was that this one chick was dressed like a dude, and then later there were a couple of dudes who looked like chicks who seemed to be trying to push me away from the girls they'd staked out. Between the three, I completely lost track of who was flirting with me and who was shoving me.
Anyway, I think I've done enough drinking for 2005 and I'm just going to take a break until maybe New Year's Eve. |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 5:36 am Post subject: |
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| endo wrote: |
| If that's really you Joe in your Avatar, then I want to punch you in the face too! |
OMG you know who I want to punch? All the people who have pictures of *other* people in their avatars. Especially the dudes who have pictures of chicks as their avatars, or the white guys who have pictures of Korean guys as their avatars. Those jerks make it impossible for me to mentally keep track of who the different Dave's posters are. |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:00 am Post subject: |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
| endo wrote: |
| If that's really you Joe in your Avatar, then I want to punch you in the face too! |
OMG you know who I want to punch? All the people who have pictures of *other* people in their avatars. Especially the dudes who have pictures of chicks as their avatars, or the white guys who have pictures of Korean guys as their avatars. Those jerks make it impossible for me to mentally keep track of who the different Dave's posters are. |
What in the hell are you talking about? |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| I haven't met many Daves people in real life, so it's hard for me to make a mental image of each, and remember who posted what. The fact that some foreign males are using pictures of Korean girls as their avatars makes it more confusing, because of course I remember the person as being a Korean girl. |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:09 am Post subject: |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
Later on the dance floor this sort of gang rape ritual appeared. Sometimes when I dance I like to touch, hold hands, even "grind" as the young people say, but always in a natural and friendly way.
But natural and friendly was not the order of the day here. As I observed the Koreans, I noticed that men and women stayed in separate groups until a group of men would isolate and circle a woman... then one dude would proceed to "grind" in a nasty way with her... basically crotch to butt contact only. The more I saw it the more it looked like rape to me. The dudes were doing the selecting, not the girls, and they even had "lookouts" to fend off other guys.
When I tried dancing with girls it was strictly hands-off, none of that kind of friendly flirting was responded to, but occasionally we would come in contact (for instance, i would try to dance holding hands, or to twirl a lady around) and then instantly the chick would turn around, ass toward me, and start grinding on my crotch. I couldn't tell if she was supposed to be the piece of meat or if I was. It was totally devoid of romance. And then the girl would sort of point me at the ass of a friend and they'd pass me around. After this, they would move to another part of the dance floor and never even respond to eye contact the rest of the night.
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That's really disturbing. I feel ridiculous when the dance floor gets crowded with politics. It's embarrassing when the whole thing turns into a primitive pantomime.
I love to dance, to be danced with, and I try to be personable and tactful/flattering. I don't go for the full-on grind, or the posturing.
Speaking of strange mating rituals, I had a funny experience this weekend. I arrived with a co-worker who had been in Korea only a week, and had never lived outside of her smallish Canadian town, let alone the country. I wanted her to feel more at ease and less lonely, so I brought her 'round to Itaewon to show her the sights.
We had ordered some drinks at 3 Alley, had a peek at the jukebox, perhaps been there for 4 minutes when a young man bounded up to me. I don't know where he came from or why he chose me. My clothing was deliberately conservative that night, and my attention was focussed simply on chatting with this coworker. He fixed me with a look of such expectancy -- I could only return with friendly bewilderment. Once we had established that we didn't actually know each other, and exchanged names, he seized my hand and softly kissed the back of it. He blessed my cheeks similarly, and continued to look at me with absurdly wide pupils. His exuberant affection and permanently dilated eyes led me to question his sobriety. I wondered aloud, and he assured me that it was the natural state of his eyes. He was terribly self-conscious about his rather prominent eyes on the whole.
He seemed to be in such a hurry, still gazing at me expectantly as if I were about to dash out the door with him. He tried to steal kisses, he murmured outrageous flattery in my ear, and attempted to press my hand into his crotch. I tried to steer the conversation toward other topics, like his hometown (Liverpool) but he would periodically cry out "You're staring at my eyes again!" and then screw up his face into a squint. Absolutely goofy.
Suddenly, he asked me to give him my seat at the bar, so I stood up. He then turned his broad back to me and proceeded to pour out his melancholy life story to my co-worker.
I amused myself instead with an East German businessman in the seat beside me. After a quick drink with him, I told my coworker that we were on our way. The lad asked if he could come along, but I felt it was unwise to lead him on, and we turned him down. No hard feelings, young Scouser-- we were just window shopping.
The co-worker certainly got the gist of Itaewon in a hurry, and after we got to Gecko's Terrace she confided that she was afraid to make eye contact with anyone. We found no scarcity of conversations or free drinks, but no one as singularly weird as the presumptuous, concussed Liverpuddlian. |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 9:04 am Post subject: |
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| Tiberious aka Sparkles wrote: |
| Tiger Beer wrote: |
| Definetely! |
Saconded.
Sparkles*_* |
I concure! |
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Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:02 am Post subject: |
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EFLtrainer
Joined: 04 May 2005
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Zyzyfer wrote: |
| Qinella wrote: |
Embarassment isn't an adjective.
Damn, that's a funny story, Joe Doufu. Yo, that yo sheet. |
Neither are any of the words that would be used to fill in that particular blank.
And that was an awesome story. Almost like eye-witness reporting. |
The above comments are fair. I edited the post to add in the a/an stuff, then forgot to edit the other portion to match. Just like in math, you gotta balance the equation! Well, it was something like 4 in the morn in a strange city in a yogwan after a fair amount of beer.  |
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Maserial
Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Location: The Web
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
| endo wrote: |
| If that's really you Joe in your Avatar, then I want to punch you in the face too! |
OMG you know who I want to punch? All the people who have pictures of *other* people in their avatars. Especially the dudes who have pictures of chicks as their avatars, or the white guys who have pictures of Korean guys as their avatars. Those jerks make it impossible for me to mentally keep track of who the different Dave's posters are. |
I understand your plight, Doufu! Let's form a punch-in-the-face posse. |
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Paji eh Wong
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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I like your posts.
First off...
| JD wrote: |
| It was totally devoid of romance. And then the girl would sort of point me at the ass of a friend and they'd pass me around. After this, they would move to another part of the dance floor and never even respond to eye contact the rest of the night. |
Aww, diddums. No romance in the club?
Second, I don't understand how Koreans play social games, and frankly, I don't want to understand. So I always try to get them to play by my rules. When the guy who hit you said he wanted to be your friend, he really meant he wanted you to be his drama object. I would have just walked.
Third, I don't really go to hiphop clubs any more, unless dragged. I always find them full of negative energy and their occupants a little ridiculous. |
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dogbert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: Killbox 90210
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
| endo wrote: |
| If that's really you Joe in your Avatar, then I want to punch you in the face too! |
OMG you know who I want to punch? All the people who have pictures of *other* people in their avatars. Especially the dudes who have pictures of chicks as their avatars, or the white guys who have pictures of Korean guys as their avatars. Those jerks make it impossible for me to mentally keep track of who the different Dave's posters are. |
Then WTF do you have Greg Kinnear as your avatar? |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Maserial wrote: |
I understand your plight, Doufu! Let's form a punch-in-the-face posse. |
PUNCH! |
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Maserial
Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Location: The Web
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
| Maserial wrote: |
I understand your plight, Doufu! Let's form a punch-in-the-face posse. |
PUNCH! |
BAMN! Take that, 'Greg Kinnear'!
I need a cigarette. |
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