Korean Job Discussion Forums

[periwinkle]

Let me ask you this: if you had a kid, and you took your kid someplace public, would you let them scream and cry uncontrollably, and basically ignore it? Earlier this year I went to a dentist's office with my friend, and there was a 5 year old screaming like I have never heard anyone scream in my entire life (I used to work in a kindy, mind you). It was painful to listen to, and it made me so uncomfortable that I left the office and waited outside in the parking lot. I thought maybe he was having a tooth extracted, or he had had an accident. I felt bad for him, but I was irritated with the staff and his mother because they were so ineffective in dealing with him. I asked my friend what was wrong with him after we left, and he said simply, "Nothing. He was just scared." So help me God, I wanted to go back in there and throttle the mother, both for her utter lack of consideration for the others at the dentist's office, but for her failure to comfort and calm her child!

The same thing happened at the hair salon yesterday. A boy (too old for his first cut) screamed and cried for the 15 min. he was at the salon. His mother did nothing but occasionally sigh, "Araso... Araso..." in a tired voice. The staff did nothing except to quietly observe the situation, and the hairstylist didn't say a word of comfort to him, either (how about a,"Hey, buddy~ I'm not going to hurt you! It'll be over a few minutes, and if you quiet down and try to be brave for me, I'll give you a sticker.") I realize this is a different culture with different styles of parenting, but man- how someone can let their kid carry on like that (in public OR in private- because if the kid does it in public, I'm sure it's just as bad at home) is beyond me. Doesn't it occur to the parents that they are bothering other people?

My parents would never, ever stand for this behavior from my brother, sister, or I. We would've gotten a very stern, "Turn off the tears, and I mean business." If that didn't work, we were promptly marched outside of the establishment, and told that we were to remain in the parking lot (where it was usually frigidly cold, boiling hot, or pouring rain) until we calmed down. Then we would remain there (with one of our parents) for a few minutes in order to teach us a lesson. Thus, we acted-up (usually by getting too silly) very rarely.

I hope I'm not coming off as high-and-mighty, but after suffering through uncontrollable screeching for 15 minutes (I couldn't walk out of the salon because I was in the middle of a treatment), my patience was wearing thin.

Geez- talk about lack of situational awareness. I wonder what those mothers were thinking. I guess they weren't thinking.

[joe_doufu]

Koreans see a child as a walking eating mutual fund. They don't give a crap about how it feels as long as the fund starts paying off before they retire.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[Ekuboko]

[periwinkle]

I was at a co-worker's house awhile back, and he had a very short fuse. well, the baby started crying (about 9 months old or so- still crawling), and his response was to put her in another room and close the door. Good God, that won't "teach her to quit her whining"!

[Pangit]

Do you have a child?

[ddeubel]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[fidel]

[joe_doufu]

[JongnoGuru]

[Neil]

[ChimpumCallao]

[Ya-ta Boy]

You know of course that a good many Koreans are firmly convinced that Western parents don't love their children or know how to raise them to be properly respectful of others. For example, no parent who really loved its baby would give it a room down the hall until it was four or five years old. No truly loving parent would expect a kid to move out when he/she is 18. That is just cold and uncaring. No real parent would raise a kid to be so self-centered that they don't care how others think.

You also know that Western shrinks advise parents not to give a screaming temper tantrum throwing kid any attention (unless it is in danger of hurting itself).

[paperbag princess]

my favourite is when screaming children in e-mart are given candy to be quiet.