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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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antoniothegreat

Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:28 pm Post subject: Another book idea |
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last week, a teacher was pretty rude to me, here is the story.
it was pepero day, i had a ton of pepero, and one piece of chocolate on my desk. i am at my desk, she is at hers, and just reaches over and eats the chocolate, not bothering to ask. I don't care too much, but want to say something. so i say "hey, what if i wanted to eat that?"
she replies in a mocking tone, "sorry" and looks at another Korean teacher, like "what can he do about it?"
of course, that makes me mad, not the chocolate, but the "i dont care" attitude.
I say something like "I dont understand, is it ok to take things off of people's desks in korea without asking?"
she now replies "it's your fault, it was on your desk."
that makes me irate, all i can say is just "wow, i cant belief you did that."
after 20 seconds, she asks, are you mad?
i say, "yes of course, very." then i get a real "sorry." nothing too sincere though.
it is time for me to leave school, so i leave, and send her a few messages about how i am mad and if she ever wondered why koreans are viewed badly, this is why.
now i come to school, and find out she is mad at me, because i didnt immediately want to talk to her (when she called i didnt answer, and i left because i was so pissed) and she feels hurt and upset...
apperantly, because she has been nice to me, in korean culture, that gives her the right to treat me like crap.
so, my idea, i want to collect things that westerners have learnt abotu Korean culture from the actions of Koreans, not to sell or anything, but more to give to Koreans so that they can look at themselves and find out why we get frustrated sometimes.
for example, this story would include: it's ok to steal from people, as long as you know them and do it without thinking ( her excuse was she was distracted)
it's ok to treat people like crap, as long as you were recently nice to them.
it's ok to get mad at someone, because they got mad at you treating them like crap.
it's ok to mockingly apologize to someone after you have blatantly done something wrong.
I am sure you get it. so, if you would like to contribute to my compilation, post here with the story and the lesson... I honestly dont know what my final results are, i just want to have this to point to koreans when they wonder why i dont let them put myself in a position to get taken advantage of (why would you want your severance money now? they ask... i answer, most foreigners never get it... no, that isnt true they reply) |
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antoniothegreat

Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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and one more thing, include any information so that i can give you credit or anythign else appropriate... |
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kangnam mafioso
Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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is this a joke?
why in the f*ck are you getting so upset about one piece of peppero, of which you have a "ton of?"
no wonder so many koreans think westerners are weird and greedy |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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Mr. antonio, I've enjoyed some of your other posts and this one is interesting.
I'm just wondering if you were back home and a co-worker that you've been getting along with reached over and swiped a piece of candy, right in front of you, what your reaction would be. I'm guessing you would make a joke of it and use it for teasing in a light-hearted way.
The way I read your story, it is a good example of culture shock. I'm not saying the cultures are different. I'm saying that the general stress of living here is starting to take its toll on you. It seems to me you are over-reacting to a small incident that probably would be dealt with with humor and jokes most of the time. If not that, then some mild irritation/annoyance. I would not think the theft of a piece of chocolate deserves stewing about for a week. |
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antoniothegreat

Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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ok, i should have emphasised. I didnt get mad at the chocolate, i got mad at her reaction when i said hey. I asked "what if i wanted to eat that?" and she mocked me in her apology, her tone was "oh well, too bad." that is why i got mad. and then she said it was my fault she took it. i dont care about the chocolate. i would have told her to take it if she asked. if she sincerely said "oops, sorry, i wasnt thinking." it would be over. with this info, tell me if i am overreacting, i honestly want to know. if i am then shame on me and i can forget it... |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: |
and she mocked me in her apology, her tone was "oh well, too bad." that is why i got mad. and then she said it was my fault she took it. |
I wasn't there to see it and hear the tone, so I can't say. Could it just be a joke gone bad? We're all guilty of poor judgement in our joking, sometimes. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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Great idea. I bet these people will be willing to publish it:
http://www.natvanbooks.com/ |
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billybrobby

Joined: 09 Dec 2004
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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Are you serious?? Are you really serious??? This board still has the capacity to astound me. I read that post thinking it was a hilarious send-up of an overly sensitive crybaby teacher. But after reading your followup posts, I'm starting to think you are serious.
You can call the book "Who Moved my Chocolate? An Amazing Way to be a Sniveling Candyassed Crybaby" |
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Swiss James

Joined: 26 Nov 2003 Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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In this land of calm mornings, anything edible on your desk is fairgame for workmates- it's also considered very selfish to buy snacks for yourself without getting a 'round' in.
People give me ice-creams, donuts, chocolate and all kinds of junk because of this rule. I think it's mint. |
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dg611
Joined: 11 Jun 2004
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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There is an interesting book called "ugly korean, ugly american" (or is it the other way around) that covers (sort of) the topic you are talking about...it is basically a book about the things that koreans often do that irritate westerners and vis a versa....interesting read though much of it is outdated with young people today....pick one up at your local english book store...(it is written in english and korean) |
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Return Jones

Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Location: I will see you in far-off places
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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Dude, she was flirting with you and you blew it.
Now she's claiming to be mad at you when really she's embarrassed at herself for having the whole thing backfire. |
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antoniothegreat

Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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Billybrobby, you are not getting the point. for the third time, i got upset at her reaction. after she ate it, i wanted to point out that it wasnt ok to take things off of my desk when i am right there, as i have politely told her many times. i told her that i understand in korea things are different, but it is nice if she asks, she is then simply respecting my privacy and space. after she ate it, i wasnt rude, i didnt cry, i asked "what if i wanted to eat that?" pointing out that it was the only chocolate on my desk.
I got mad when she mockingly replied with "sorry." in a tone of "i dont care, and there's nothing you can do about it." and she then looked at a nearby teacher as if "ha, poor foreigner is upset, i dont care." and i got more mad when she later said "it's your fault." she could have said sorry sincerely, or explained she wasnt thinking and in korea that is ok, but no, she instead chose to mock me and blame me. that, is why i am mad. this is the same teacher that if a student doesnt look at her when she speaks, she smacks them in the head, so she knows all about appropriate responses.
i honestly cant believe how you can ridicule me and attack a point that i clearly didnt make. read my posts next time. |
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antoniothegreat

Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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and i forgot, i didnt buy the chocolate, it was pepero day, it was given to me. |
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Swiss James

Joined: 26 Nov 2003 Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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to be fair though, it was 5 days ago and you're still crying about it. |
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antoniothegreat

Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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good point it was five days ago. i wanted to talk to her about it tuesday ( no school monday) and she was apperantly upset at me, because i got mad at her, and refused to talk to me. that is a joke. now it is more like "you got to be kidding me, you are mad at me because i got mad when you treated me disrespectfully." i think Koreans are different here definitely, as we get mad, then calm down, then talk about it.
she wanted to talk to me after i left and after she had got me mad because of her reactions, so of course i didnt want to talk to her, but i guess here they dont understand that. i dont know. i admit, it is stupid. sorry to bother everyone.... |
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