Korean Job Discussion Forums

[JongnoGuru]

My gardener asked me if he could bring his two grandsons over to my house so I could "test" their English conversation ability. Some school assignment of theirs, during their vacation they have to meet a foreigner/any foreigner and converse with them. Or so I gathered.

I can't say I was ecstatic about it, but I agreed as a favour to my gardner. The old coot, what a xenophobe he is at times. But he knows his business, and there are no nationalities or geopolitics or skin colour when it comes to trees and flowers and landscaping. No, wait -- he actually has some strong anti-Japanese views on landscape gardening. But we get along after a fashion, and I don't want to lose him over something stupid. Sure, bring them by and I'll say "Hello, pleased to meet you. What is your name? Where do you live?" I agreed and promptly forgot all about it.

So the inevitable Saturday afternoon arrives, my gardener calls and asks if they can come over. No problem. But guess what? When they get there it isn't just the two grandsons, but a whole friggin' platoon of their friends from school!! Eight or nine of them I think there was. Jesus! Oh, and this "test" of their English ability -- man, what a complete farce! First of all, only one or maybe two of the children could even speak English beyond "yes" and "no".

I'd ask them some simple questions in English and they'd either not understand or answer in one-word Korean. So I asked simpler ones. And then I finally asked in Korean. Really, they'd just sit there and figdet and say... nothing. It wasn't a test of English at all, it was a test of wills, a test of patience -- name, rank and serial number and NO MORE! That kind of thing. We'd pulled out some deck chairs and my gardener had it arranged like some sort of interrogation scene, with me, the Grand Inquisitor, in one chair and one of the kids in the opposite "hot seat". So I decided we'd all sit on the lawn... more comfortable and sociable. Nothing worked. They just WOULD not or COULD not speak English.

And remember, there's a pack of them. So when I'm "conversing" (ha!!!) with one of them, the rest are basically running wild around the garden, front & back of the house, everywhere. And 200 trips to the bathroom. I made the stupid mistake of not putting the dogs in their pen, so playing with the dogs became another distraction.

When this mutually painful exercise in futility had mercifully reached an end, and I had confirmed that almost none of them could speak any English, I dutifully signed all of their confirmation letters indicating that they COULD speak English. Oh, but don't think signing off on this charade was a simple formality, no sir. No ma'am. That bloody verification form, Jesu Christo, what an infernal invasion of privacy that was. Name, address, home phone number (I lied), business phone number (I lied), occupation, DOB, Date of Arrival in the Republic, and yadda, yadda, yadda it went. *beep*, I've filled out security clearance forms almost as intrusive as that.

And that was the end of it, right? Wrong. They each -- EACH -- had to have their photo taken with "that foreigner" as further proof that they really in fact did go out and find some innocent, unsuspecting big-nose to harass for this pointless exercise in dishonesty. (Hm. Maybe teaching young children they ways of dishonesty isn't really so pointless in Korea, but that's fodder for another thread.)

"Yes, all very funny, Guru, you long-winded pompous ass, but exactly where are you going with all of this?"

Well, here. Despite it all -- and I can't deny it was a pain trying to get them to use what little English they might have -- I kinda had fun that day.

(But I must say, they're really crappy at English. Sorry, but they were.)

[xtchr]

Welcome to my world

[Col.Brandon]

You have a garden?

I thought only the people in the drama shows were rich enough to have gardens?

[JongnoGuru]

[mindmetoo]

[Ya-ta Boy]

It kind of makes you miss those "Hello! Hi!" kids you run into on the street, doesn't it?

The teachers who give out these asinine assignments should be drawn and quartered with very weak horses so their agony is as long and drawn out as the foreigners suffered who've been afflicted with their bright idea.

In the spirit of blame the victim, you are the one who screwed up. You should have set a time limit of 30 minutes max, for this ordeal. It's my firm conviction that kids have very little worthwhile to say in any language, and Korean kids even less. You can't make a conversation out of "I slept all weekend. I played video games. On my vacation I went to Woraksan for two days (most of it spent in the car getting there and back)."

[neandergirl]

This kind of thing happens on just about every visit to Seattle's Best - although it's usually just 2 or 3 of 'em and we don't sit on the lawn.

[Ody]

i wonder if your gardener had already warned them against tromping all over your plants? that's what happens when new kids come to our house; and some of the regulars too!

i missed their age, but your story is quite familiar to me. you'd be surprised though, how fast they pick up the language, just having fun in a nurturing environment.




.

[JongnoGuru]

[Ody]

[JongnoGuru]

[BigBlackEquus]

You want us to actually THINK you're in our league, here?

You didn't even get Ddong-chimmed once, Guru!

One cannot become a hagwon teacher merely by having some kids over for 'testing of English ability.' To be a true 'English Teacher', you must endure having a six year-old's fingers shoved up your cooster at least once: MINIMUM!

Damned imposters!

[JongnoGuru]

[Ody]

wow, they're older than i imagined!

[guangho]

[quote="JongnoGuru"]