Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Corporal]

Nota bene #1: I did not at any point during the following incident call anyone stupid.
#2. This is not a "all Koreans are horrible people" diatribe.

My Korean friend who owns a hair salon down the street from me, gave me a cut for free today. Which I was happy about. But while I was there, a young girl (mid-teens maybe) came in with her mother. She had her hair almost buzzed, and since she had very delicate features, I thought it looked cute on her, but she looked sullen and miserable the whole time, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I couldn't stop watching her the whole entire time just because she looked so unhappy. Then the girl and the mother left and once they were gone I asked Victoria (my friend) what that was all about. She tried to explain to me but couldn't. So I got my husband to translate. Turns out the girl's father wasn't happy with the girl's attitude or something or other she'd done, so he took an electric razor to her head. This visit to the hair salon was a follow-up, so I guess she still wasn't forgiven for whatever sin she had committed.

I feel so bad for this girl. She is so pretty and I still thought she was even with a practically shaven head, but I'm sure every time she looks in the mirror she hates what she sees because of the way it happened.

The worst thing is, everyone involved (my husband included) didn't seem to think it was such a big deal or worth getting upset over. Maybe because the girl wasn't my friend and I didn't know her.

[rapier]

You really are bored aren't you corporal?

[rapier]

After re-reading that, it seems to be a typical wacky korean type of punishment. I mean if the girl did something wrong, why punish her to such an extreme? I mean it takes probably a year or more for a little girls hair to grow back- whatever she did, she'll never be able to forget it, thats for sure. If my parents did that to me it'd take me a looong time to forgive them.

[bucheon bum]

i wish i could hand out that punishment to a couple students of mine

I wonder what she did. Interesting way to punish her.

[Homer]

I don't know corporal.
Perhaps you are reacting a little too strongly to this. As a form of punishment its not that bad and since neither you nor any of us know what really happened or for that matter what she did its not very wise to go and make a big deal out of this..not that you did.
As for the girl looking sad and sullen well anyone would if they had to get a buzz cut and didn't want on.
Us westerners have to be careful when we look at the way koreans discipline their kids. Some korean parenst go too far that is very true. However, some discipline is a good thing sometimes and its important to let a child know whet is acceptable and what is not.
But, since we have no real facts except from what you saw and the subsequent translations of the explanation we have to be careful about coming to any conclusions.
but i can see why it made you feel sad, its never a good thing to see snybody feel bad.

[crazylemongirl]

[Homer]

My response crazylemongirl:

Under the same circumstances, with the same evidence at hand i would come to the same conclusion indeed.
I am not hiding behind anything..
I think discipline is important in a child's life. Its the parents job to provide it. I am not talking about slaps and whips here.
But, a buzz cut is hardly a scandal.

[matko]

Homer,

A forced buzz cut on a teenage girl is cruel.

I don't care what country

[CurlyQ]

It's shocking and sad. Humiliation is a very cruel form of punishment. Corporal is a mother in a culture that seems to me to be particularly hard on kids.
I have posted a topic, or rather, question on child abuse myself. Hope I can sleep tonight.

[Seoultrader]

Oh cry me a friggin' river.

That's the most ingenious disciplinary action I've ever heard of. Long-lasting but not permanent, and painless (yeah, yeah....don't even start with "emotional distress").

[jaderedux]

wow the empathy on this board is overwhelming. I don't know whether it is right or wrong but it can be very damaging to a child here. Do any of you even think about the cultural significance of this action?

yes Seoultrader this can be very distressing. I teach in a Middle School and one of the boys in my school was caught smoking. His parents shaved his head.....! He (not she btw) was mortified. I watched this student go from being gregarious and funny to sullen and withdrawn, moody and finally completely quiet. Eventually his parents pulled him from the school. This has happened to 2 or 3 boys. All of them are so ashamed and never seem quite the same.

It was also common years ago after they became "civilized" that women who commited crimes or were of disreputable reputation had their heads shaved publically. Often the only punishment was having their hair cut from their head in a public place.

Shaving your head here is of great significance. Strikers, protesters do this to show their great shame, anger or as a badge of some kind to proof they will do anything for a cause. It is not just A HAIRCUT.

Also, remember being different is not ACCEPTABLE. This childs parent has made the child completely different and now open to scorn, ridicule and possibly mild violence. I see this everyday in my school. I am not far from the girls school and almost every girl has the same haircut etc. So to make her different is traumatic.

So before you applaud this parents "creativity" think of the consequences on the child. This isn't the west. Ask that girl I bet she would have preferred to be beaten every day as opposed to made to be different.

I am making no judgement on the punishment but I it is not so trivial as some of you seem to think.

Again, my two cents.

Jade

[gilgamesh]

I have a number two haircut. In light of what has been suggested with regards to the cultural significance of this, will there be some sort of meaning attached to the length of my hair??

[Corporal]

Maybe the stigma is primarily to children or kids who are still under the parental influence. I say this because I just today saw a mid-30s woman with very short (1 inch long) hair. It suited her and she seemed quite happy with it not alienated from society or anything like that, and I didn't notice anyone giving her strange looks. Perhaps looking at her a little longer than normal but then they will do that with anyone who looks slightly different here.

I don't really know but I am still thinking about the girl in my original post.

[rapier]

A lot of people immediately confuse physical punishment with abuse, or cruelty.
Cutting a teenager's hair is insane- and socially damaging to the developing youth.
A simple paddywack on the behind ,in the younger years saves a lot of more extreme remedies later.
Please, no trendy modern lefty BS: a paddywhack or a rap on the knuckles, even a cuff is not abuse or cruelty.

[TheUrbanMyth]

This reminds me of something I discussed with my advanced class of girls. We were talking about discipline and I mentioned that in the West, one method of punishment was to revoke phone privileges. I then asked them how they would feel about that, if they did something wrong. They all claimed that they would rather be spanked then give up their cell phones. These were 16 year old girls. I said that if I was their parent and they did something wrong, I would consider them too old to be spanked and would take away their cell phone or something along the lines of that. They thought that I was being too harsh and that they would rather prefer corporal punishment. They even went so far as to claim that when the Korean teachers hit them with sticks it was "only because they care for us, teacher!" I'll have to ask them about this buzz cut thing, but yes, just because a punishment seems trivial to some of us, doesn't mean it is trivial.

Obviously the girl's father didn't think it was a trivial punishment. Or he would have done something else.