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Why is criticism so hard to take?

 
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lastat06513



Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Location: Sensus amo Caesar , etiamnunc victus amo uni plebian

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 5:31 pm    Post subject: Why is criticism so hard to take? Reply with quote

I went over to the job forum and I hear alot about how people are fed up with how their bosses/ directors/ managers complain about their work performance.
I, for one, hate criticism alot because I feel it is demeaning and harmful to my morale while working.
But, at the same time, I have found it to be helpful, informative and rewarding to receive feedback from people, no matter whether they are the teachers I work with or the students I teach.
I feel that feedback and criticism causes self-reflection and helps me know what I am doing wrong and if I could change it, I would.
I always hear how professional development is needed to improve someone's teaching skills. But I also feel self-development is needed too.
I know that after working in Korea, no matter the amount of time spent, a person will walk away from the experience a changed person.
But it will depend on us to determine how this experience will change us.

Whether it will be the best or for the worst.
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ajgeddes



Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that one of the reasons it is so hard to take, is that for many English teachers here, we only hear the negative. Employers rarely say "good job" or "I like how you....". Instead, they take their workers for granted and only comment on the negative things and how they should change. When you only hear negative criticism, it gets to you and it is hard to take.

Class time, gotta go.
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khyber



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Compunction Junction

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe people can't understand that there are some things they may need to improve on.
there is NO teacher out there who thinks they can't improve.

This is going to sound HARSH but: Perhaps those people posting don't realize that MAYBE there boss wants someone who prepares REAL activities and takes time to make REAL resources and props etc...

re: self development, sure! But it's difficult to know what you're doing wrong when you're analyzing yourself. It isn't always enough to simply look at students' (marks or behaviour) and think, i should try this.
Sometimes the problem isn't with your system but a problem with your personality/classroom atmosphere/habits.

It also depends on how it's presented though...
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Kyrei



Joined: 22 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My favourite so far in Korea has been this gem from my boss last month...
"You know... when I first met you... I hated you. You always embarrassed me in front of my staff. But now.. I love you." {editor's note: I am paraphrasing his English to make it easier to understand}. This was said at a department dinner after several bottles of soju.


Last edited by Kyrei on Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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plattwaz



Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Location: <Write something dumb here>

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dislike criticism in my current position because my director spends every minute she can telling me how I am the best teacher she has ever met, her school would be unsuccessful without me, she thinks I am wonderful, and all of the other teachers need to learn from me. (I'm not claiming any of this is true, it's just my boss's way...she lays it on thick hopign I will love it there and want to stay forever...).

Then, once a month, for whatever reason it may be (one mother complained she didn't like one question on one homework sheet) I will get a huge attitude from her, saying that she's trusted me all this time, and obviously I need to change the way I teach, that I've stopped putting effort in, and that I don't know what I am doing, and she questions my ability as a teacher. Uhhhh......

So, of course I don't take her criticism very well. It's a little bit bi-polar....

In a previous job, I disliked the criticism because as another poster said, none of us at the academy were ever praised. And, criticism was never "constructive" -- the director or supervisor had no idea how to teach, so they were never in a position to advise on ways to do things better -- they simply said "Stop doing this, don't do that anymore, this way is wrong, you do that poorly, you should do this better..." etc etc -- with no real advice, guadiance, direction, etc. How about saying "It might make your classes more successfull if you...." or "We've noticed that this area of your class could be smoother, here are some tips, and by the way, well done in your blah blah blah..."

And, again, all of their criticism was based on one mother's complaint about one thing. Never once did the supervisor say to the mothers "Actually, we have observed and supervised our teachers in detail, they were interviewed extensively for the position, they all have certification, and have had excellent references, so we do believe that our teachers know what they are doing." No, they just agree with the dimwit mothers immediately and blame the teacher's ability.

THAT's why I hate criticism here.

In teaching work outside of Korea, as well as all of the non-teaching positions I've held, monthly or quarterly "professional development" sessions, or "job performance meetings" were held to help the supervisor and the employee meet together to discuss strengths, weaknesses, areas in need of development by the employee, and areas the supervisor needed to give more support in.

Accepting criticism of your shortfalls is a whole lot easier when it's done with a goal or purpose in mind. Here it's done simply to pass the blame away from the highest ups.
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Big Mac



Joined: 17 Sep 2005

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't mind criticism if it is done tactfully.

I had a situation where some parents complained that I wasn't putting enough red marks in the childrens' textbooks.

Instead of asking me politely to keep the parents happy I was hauled into a meeting and told that I was a bad teacher. I was also told that the other teachers were good teachers and that I had to sit in on their classes to see what a good teacher looks like. It was humiliating. I obviously didn't take it well.

Now I spend half of my teaching time marking books instead of teaching (which isn't the ideal situation, I know). There hasn't been a complaint since.

I don't think it matters what you do in the classroom...if a parent complains about anything, at that very moment in time you're a bad teacher.

A hogwan isn't a place to teach English...it's a business and marketing is much more important than it should be.
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Yu_Bum_suk



Joined: 25 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How many Koreans have you met who can teach conversational English effectively? I can think of two. Maybe three or four if you include people who aren't actually teachers. So why would you get so down about comments from people who need someone else to translate for them, if it's about your teaching. I can tell when my students are interested or bored, attentive or distracted, etc. Hence every lesson I get visual feedback on how I can improve (taking into account a thousand variables, of course). The fact that I get lots of praise is great, but I wouldn't get too excited about praise or too down about complaints from Korean staff, because they don't teach what I do, and where I need to improve is fairly obvious to me.
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zappadelta



Joined: 31 Aug 2004

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How many Koreans have you met who can criticize or give advice correctly
correctly in English. That can also be a problem, the way they word things.
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Qinella



Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Location: the crib

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 8:05 pm    Post subject: Re: Why is criticism so hard to take? Reply with quote

lastat06513 wrote:
I went over to the job forum and I hear alot about how people are fed up with how their bosses/ directors/ managers complain about their work performance.
I, for one, hate criticism alot because I feel it is demeaning and harmful to my morale while working.
But, at the same time, I have found it to be helpful, informative and rewarding to receive feedback from people, no matter whether they are the teachers I work with or the students I teach.
I feel that feedback and criticism causes self-reflection and helps me know what I am doing wrong and if I could change it, I would.
I always hear how professional development is needed to improve someone's teaching skills. But I also feel self-development is needed too.
I know that after working in Korea, no matter the amount of time spent, a person will walk away from the experience a changed person.
But it will depend on us to determine how this experience will change us.

Whether it will be the best or for the worst.


Throughout my life, I've known very few people who were able to take criticism in stride, regardless of how constructively or politely it's presented.

I had a big problem with it growing up, until I had a friend's parents, who were both counselors, explain to me that I had a problem with defensiveness. I was like, damn.. these are the two wisest people I know. Perhaps they're right. So I broke down my protective walls over time.

But a lot of people are just very bad at taking criticism. I don't know why. At my bank job before moving to Korea, the management was really good about giving us compliments and always telling us how much they appreciated us. Regardless, any time they had to make a criticism, I'd hear the b*tching and moaning for the next two weeks.

Dunno.

Q.
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Barking Mad Lord Snapcase



Joined: 04 Nov 2003

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Criticism, whether warranted or not, does seem to be common in Korea.

I believe that many expats are so critical of Korea on these forums because they are simply holding up a mirror - it is something they are learning in the workplace. That's not a simple excuse; rather, looking around with a critical, jaded eye is simply a means of adjusting. It does get a bit exhausting, though.
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