Korean Job Discussion Forums

prorohiv · Joined: 02 Dec 2005 Location: Seoul

thanks for all the good advice folks, I think ajuma's idea is what I'm gonna pitch to my girlfriend... Cheers

ajuma · Joined: 18 Feb 2003 Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

prorohiv: You may want to add something about "I want to respect your customs and feeling about your parents, but you have to respect MY ideas, too" when you make your "pitch".

Good luck!

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

Ditch her. That's the best advice.

riley · Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Location: where creditors can find me

You're not married and you have bills that must be paid for and she wants you to promise to help her parents. No, don't do it. After marriage, that's a different set of responsibilities, but not now. At the very least, if you are serious, you need to save money for a marriage ceremony. That can be expensive, plus the family will want to know that you can save and do have money.
Anyways, I think she isn't quite in the real world and needs to be woken up. Otherwise, dump her already!

Hobophobic · Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:45 pm Post subject:

Soon after (if you marry her) you will be on an monthly allowance like myself and the, other poor in every way and meaning, brother in-laws....for all that is sane...run man run!

okay....just be careful and do what you feel is best for both of you...

...compromising is not so bad...just bid real low if you plan on setting aside that salary percentage and it will level out....

...for my allowance...I was told I would get 10 manon a month....I said I wanted 30...I get 15... Crying or Very sad

Hobophobic · Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:50 pm Post subject:

...really I still only get 100,000Won/month...she makes me buy milk and such on my way home...thus dipping into my fun-fund Sad

...damn, I lose again! Very Happy

TheUrbanMyth · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Location: Retired

sheba · Joined: 16 May 2005 Location: Here there and everywhere!

I think it was ok for her to ask you, but you have every right to say no.

If shes making a big deal about you saying no, then it becomes a problem.

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

Kenny Kimchee · Joined: 12 May 2003

I'm a little confused - where is "here"? Your location reads "France" but you write like a native English speaker. Where are you now?

Regardless of where you are, Kenny says "Run away! Run away!" I don't know you from Adam, but it sounds like you've got some art major on your hands who's never worked a day in her life. People like that don't know the value of money or what it takes to get it.

Your post implies that you're saddled with a fair amount of debt that you need to pay down. You're going to try to support two people on 2 million won a month and pay off student loans? Get ready for a steady diet of cup ramen...

Things don't look good, my friend. How's this for a scenario: you move to Korea and deal with the attendant culture shock (for you) and reverse culture shock (for her). Money is tight. Money problems are the number one killer of relationships. Miss Never Worked a Day in her Life wants to send her salary to her folks and can't understand why you can't provide her with the level of comfort she's accustomed to. You are resentful of the fact that she's not chipping in. Fight, argue, fight. Some time later, you break up.

I didn't know this kind of stuff went down in Korea. Thailand or the Philippines, yeah, but Korea?

Homer · Guest

Mr. Pink · Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China

I think if you give in your an idiot.

I can tell you from a lot of experience, you WILL have financial problems in your relationship/marriage. It puts MASSIVE stress on your relationship. If you aren't married it is just so damn easy to tell her to piss off and if you are married it is going to open both your eyes.

I have been married to a Korean for over 5yrs. The guys who give their money to their wives and get an allowance are also idiots. I keep a portion of my salary for my own expenses. The rest goes to rent/food/utilities and savings. My wifes money goes to daycare, her personal expenses and the little day to day things our household needs. She has never asked me to give her parents an "allowance". We give them some cash now and again but it is just like 100k here, 100k there type of cash.

If she is living at home with her parents and not paying for anything, I can see her mentality, but I gotta say, it sounds like you could do a lot better.

*shakes his head in wonder*

Reminds me of the pipe dream I had during IMF that I could still make my student loan payments...that is what this girl has...a pipe dream.

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

ajuma · Joined: 18 Feb 2003 Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

I would say that 90-95% of Korean men give their pay to their wife. It's the "Korean way" of doing things. The man works and the wife manages the money. If you marry a Korean woman, you should expect that she'd want to do things "Korean-style". If you can get her to compromise, it's a good thing!

Leslie Cheswyck · Joined: 31 May 2003 Location: University of Western Chile

I say screw it! In Korea taking care of the folks is the job of the first-born son. And if her parents didn't have any sons, well then, that's just tough shit.