Korean Job Discussion Forums

[chest rockwell]

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck
Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.

It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: the
light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest
substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse
kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the
scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

[Pligganease]

[ajgeddes]

I got this e-mail yesterday:




Heres some more................
>
>
>
>
> When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not
> because he is gay, but
> because he has run out of women.
>
>
> Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down
> until he gets the
> information he wants.
>
>
> If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always
> says, "Two seconds
> till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he
> roundhouse kicks you
> in the face.
>
>
> Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he
> gets the pleasure.
>
>
> Since 1940, the
> year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related
> deaths have increased 13,000 percent
>
> There are no disabled people. Only people who have
> met Chuck Norris.
>
> There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There
> is only another fist.
>
> It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost
> a fight to a
> pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris
> himself to lure more
> pirates to him.
>
> When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one
> Thanksgiving, Chuck said,
> "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his
> backyard. He came back
> five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole,
> and when he threw
>
> it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and
> came with cranberry
> sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it,
> he gave her a
> roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never
> question Chuck Norris."
>
> Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas
> Ranger; it is actually
> a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
> in the face that
> day.
>
> If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you
> get "Huck corn,sir."
> That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska
> and burns the entire
> state down.
>
> Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has
> never cried.
>
>
> Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to
> people anyway.
> >>
> >>
> >>Rather than being birthed like a normal child,
> Chuck Norris instead
> >>decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
> Shortly thereafter
> >>he grew a beard.
> >>
> >>
> >>When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family
> does not die from
> >>cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks
> to the face. He also
>
> >>requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen,
> axels, and buffalo meat
> >>on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before
> you.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in
> time to stop the
> >>JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all
> three bullets with
> >>his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded
> out of sheer
> >>amazement.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his
> rugged good looks and
> >>unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after
> the transaction was
> >>finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in
> the face and took his
> >>soul back. The devil, who
> >>appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
> >>admitted he should have seen it coming. They now
> play poker every
> >> second
> >>Wednesday of the month.
> >>
> >>
> >>A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is
> "Charles". Chuck
> >>Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him
> until he exploded.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his
> urine as a canned
> >>beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply
> pointing at her and
> >>saying "booya".
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with
> his finger, by
> >>yelling, "Bang!"
> >>
> >>
> >>The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
> >>
> >>
> >>After much debate, President Truman decided to
> drop the atomic bomb on
>
> >>Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending
> Chuck Norris. His
> >>reasoning? It was more "humane".
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger.
> When they do, he
> >>roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law
> and Order are
> >>trademarked names for his left and right legs.
> >>
> >>
> >>If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If
> you can't see?Chuck
> >>Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
> >>
> >>
> >>One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century
> was the fact that
> >>Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but
> was in fact
> >>tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure
> as hell take yours.
> >>If you're thinking to yourself, "That's
> impossible, I already lost my
> >>virginity." then you are dead

[eamo]

That's funny.

I'm going to have to watch a Chuck Norris movie now to see if he's so tough. No, wait. I won't bother. They're crap.

[itaewonguy]

dont diss on norris!! remember he was the first video action star to come out! when videos came out in the early 80's there were only a few titles to start my mum was a roadshow home video salesrep so we were one of the first houses in Australia to have a video, VHS and BETA and chuck norris was one of the first action stars on video, guess you could say he was the first straight to video star hahahhaha
he had some good movies in the early days...of course now they suck!
but still back then was awesome when you were 8! haahahaa

[Chillin' Villain]

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.

[Hollywoodaction]

Thanks for the jokes. I needed a good laugh. I've been having a bad week.

[DanielInKorea]

This is the best forum I've read yet.

[Dan The Chainsawman]

Once when given wrong change in a store Chuck Norris punched the teller in the vagina.

[Hollywoodaction]

Chuck Norris's abs are so tight, he eats coal and shits diamonds.

[JongnoGuru]

When I saw this thread title, I thought maybe Chuck Norris had passed away. heh heh...





*EDIT*
OWWWW!! *beep* HELL!!! I've just been roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris, despite the fact that he's currently in the U.S.

[RokofKangnam]

31 Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more that meet the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly until his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly thereafter all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling "Bang!"

8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya!"

10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

12. When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into the backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper, Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

16. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

17.Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

18. Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

19. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

20. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f&$k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

21. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

22. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

23. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

24. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

25. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

26. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and crapped on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

27. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

28. At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.

29. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

30. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

31. Chuck Norris once pulled a bus full of school children teetering over the edge of a cliff back onto the road with his bare hands, saving everybody inside. Even as they cheered, he screamed, "I'm not your savior!" and headbutted the bus over the edge, sending them all to their horrible doom

[JongnoGuru]

Can we make our own?

Here's mine.


You like coffee? So does Chuck Norris. But he doesn't brew coffee like the rest of us. He roundhouse-kicks the country of Columbia until it bleeds java.

[joe_doufu]

Kimchi doesn't bother Chuck Norris. He stares at it, and it backs down and becomes salad.

Chuck Norris claimed to have a B.A. in bad ass. No Korean immigration official has ever asked for a second look to verify it.

When Kim Jong Il heard Chuck Norris was teaching in a Seoul hagwon, that's when he knew he needed the Bomb.

Dok-do belongs to Chuck Norris.

[Hollywoodaction]

Funny thing is Chuck Norris began doing martial arts when he was in the USFK.

In any case...


Chuck Norris is the only foreigner in history to have been overpaid by his hagwon boss at the end of his contract.

Soju is popular in Korea because of the belief that drinking 100 bottles in one sitting will make someone as powerful as Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, most people throw up after 2 bottles only because Chuck Norris is the only person capable of accomplishing the feat.


The North Korean nuclear program is just a diversion for its attempts to clone an army of Chuck Norrises. Fortunately, the only North Korean to have approached Chuck Norris to get his DNA got a round house kick to the face and became North Korea's first satellite in space.