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| Why do they do this? |
| They want to teach the woman morality |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| They have nothing better to do with their time |
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68% |
[ 17 ] |
| They are doing it for her own good |
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12% |
[ 3 ] |
| They are doing any future guys a favour, after all, all unmarried girls are virgins, you know!! |
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12% |
[ 3 ] |
| Other |
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8% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 25 |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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 Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:05 am Post subject: Why do people do this? |
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Ok, here is a new one I heard from my g/f. Her mom never tells her not to go to my place alone, but she always says 'be careful'. So I asked why. This is the answer.
Local chatty rumour spreading people (usually ajummas, sometimes not) see this, and they spread rumours and chat about it, because we're not married. The word gets around about my g/f, and if we ever break up, she won't be able to get married, because she has a bad rep. with the local people. Any man in the future that dates her will be told about her past exploits. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:06 am Post subject: |
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| Because Korea is just a very large small town? |
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Maserial
Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Location: The Web
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:19 am Post subject: |
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| Ya-ta Boy wrote: |
| Because Korea is just a very large small town? |
Nah, that's Iowa, minus the 'very large' aspect, that is. |
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Grotto
Joined: 21 Mar 2004
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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Needs another choice....
Because foreigners are dirty and will pollute the girl.
Foreigners are only interested in sex and will pollute the girl.
Foreign men are so much larger than Korean men(you know..down there  ) that they will make it impossible for a Korean man to please her. |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Maserial wrote: |
| Ya-ta Boy wrote: |
| Because Korea is just a very large small town? |
Nah, that's Iowa, minus the 'very large' aspect, that is. |
Once I was driving from coast to coast and passed through Des Moines at the time of the Iowa State Fair. I had to stop. It was amazing, but one thing it was not, was small. There are country fairs in Maine so i thought I knew what to expect. But this place had hundreds of acres just of farm equipment, barns full of prize produce as far as the eye could see, whole herds of animals on the BBQ, not to mention the carnival rides. |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 5:40 am Post subject: yes |
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She said they'd do this to a Korean couple too. If they weren't married and going into a single man's apartment alone....
| Grotto wrote: |
Needs another choice....
Because foreigners are dirty and will pollute the girl.
Foreigners are only interested in sex and will pollute the girl.
Foreign men are so much larger than Korean men(you know..down there ) that they will make it impossible for a Korean man to please her. |
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Bee Positive
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 9:10 am Post subject: Re: Why do people do this? |
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| Ilsanman wrote: |
Ok, here is a new one I heard from my g/f. Her mom never tells her not to go to my place alone, but she always says 'be careful'. So I asked why. This is the answer.
Local chatty rumour spreading people (usually ajummas, sometimes not) see this, and they spread rumours and chat about it, because we're not married. The word gets around about my g/f, and if we ever break up, she won't be able to get married, because she has a bad rep. with the local people. Any man in the future that dates her will be told about her past exploits. |
Sorry, but I don't think you've given us nearly enough information to go on.
I once had a Korean girlfriend visit my apartment for a cup of tea. We drank tea. We talked a bit. No sex. Her parents never knew (she couldn't date at age 30: go figure!), but their fears would have been pointless, since my tea didn't do her any harm.
However, had I been BONKING her, well then, frankly, I wouldn't have begrudged them their concern, if they had found out about it, if you see what I mean.
Sex is not necessarily as consequence-free as we might like.
Tea-drinking? Pretty innocuous.
BEE POSITIVE |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 10:11 am Post subject: Re: Why do people do this? |
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| Bee Positive wrote: |
| I once had a Korean girlfriend visit my apartment for a cup of tea. We drank tea. We talked a bit. No sex. Her parents never knew (she couldn't date at age 30: go figure!), but their fears would have been pointless, since my tea didn't do her any harm. |
I disagree. What you did behind closed doors makes NO difference. I'm not really as cynical as my previous reply, but the point is this: they are trying to protect the daughter from rumors. They don't give a [hoot] whether you had sex with her or not, though it might make them more emotional about the issue. What theyreally care about is whether anybody who knew her saw her going into an apartment with a foreign man. |
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Bee Positive
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 12:21 pm Post subject: Re: Why do people do this? |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
| Bee Positive wrote: |
| I once had a Korean girlfriend visit my apartment for a cup of tea. We drank tea. We talked a bit. No sex. Her parents never knew (she couldn't date at age 30: go figure!), but their fears would have been pointless, since my tea didn't do her any harm. |
I disagree. What you did behind closed doors makes NO difference. I'm not really as cynical as my previous reply, but the point is this: they are trying to protect the daughter from rumors. They don't give a [hoot] whether you had sex with her or not, though it might make them more emotional about the issue. What theyreally care about is whether anybody who knew her saw her going into an apartment with a foreign man. |
Point taken. You're right.
Of course what you say is true in a culturally determined sense (face is everything here, or almost everything), and as a Westerner, I tend to see things differently. But within the context of Korean culture (which obviously can't be avoided in this case), you are correct.
By the way, I never got to take that girlfriend more than about halfway home after an evening out. We'd get to about the edge of her neighborhood and she'd start to worry about being seen. On a couple of occasions we had to turn on our heels without warning and march furiously in the opposite direction when she thought she'd suddenly spotted someone down the road who might have known her.
Needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled about any of this, and it was shortly thereafter (and not just because of this one woman) that I decided "no Korean girlfriend ever again." Not to be too absolutist about it, or anything!
Korea is good for making money. I'll look for a wife elsewhere.
P.S. To any of you who DO have Korean spouses or significant others, or even not-so-significant others, for that matter, no offense intended and none taken, I hope. I do frankly wonder whether some of you might not be in a fog, as I was before, not understanding just how completely taboo I was, etc., but of course it's a great big world, and even in some ways a big country (50 mil!), and everyone's experience is different, so if life is working out for you here, then I can only say "fantastic." Hope it lasts.
BEE POSITIVE
Last edited by Bee Positive on Sat Dec 10, 2005 12:29 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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travel zen
Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Location: Good old Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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It's because you are a foreigner.....sorry mate.
If you were a brown/black guy in the uptight mid-west.....it might be the same reaction.  |
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Dan The Chainsawman
Joined: 05 May 2005
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Get her a fake mustache, and a wig. They will never know who she is. |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:53 pm Post subject: Re: Why do people do this? |
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| Bee Positive wrote: |
| By the way, I never got to take that girlfriend more than about halfway home after an evening out. We'd get to about the edge of her neighborhood and she'd start to worry about being seen. On a couple of occasions we had to turn on our heels without warning and march furiously in the opposite direction when she thought she'd suddenly spotted someone down the road who might have known her. |
I've had the exact same experience, a Korean girl going on dates with me but not letting me so much as hold her hand unless we were on an unlit path in the park, or behind closed doors. And it didn't even occur to her that that might be offensive to me.
So, I took a Korean class and started dating my Japanese classmates. Who needs a Korean girl? They're mental. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 2:33 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| There are country fairs in Maine so i thought I knew what to expect. But this place had hundreds of acres just of farm equipment, barns full of prize produce as far as the eye could see, whole herds of animals on the BBQ, not to mention the carnival rides. |
Don't confuse the State Fair with the little county fairs. The State fair is the one with the BUTTER COW. You did see the BUTTER COW, didn't you? If you didn't see the BUTTER COW then you really didn't see the state fair. You'll have to make a return visit.
What is the BUTTER COW I hear someone ask? I'm glad you did. More importantly, you will be glad you did. Read on:
State Fair's 150th Birthday Celebrated in Butter
Iowa Ag Connection - 07/29/2004
The butter cow lady is at it again. This year, Norma "Duffy'' Lyon is adding a giant, three-layer birthday cake and a small dairy barn to her annual butter cow display at the Iowa State Fair.
The cake is to celebrate the fair's 150th anniversary. The barn is for the Iowa Barn Foundation, a group dedicated to saving old barns.
The cow is her trademark. This year, it's a Jersey.
Lyon started working on this year's project a week ago. She hopes to be finished before the fair opens on August 12th.
The Iowa State Fair has had a butter cow every year since 1911.
Lyon, who lives on a dairy farm near Toledo, is the fair's third butter sculptor. She started in 1959.
Her recent projects include John Wayne, Garth Brooks, Elvis, a life-size butter version of "The Last Supper,'' and last year's Harley-Davidson motorcycle. |
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Gord
Joined: 25 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 2:38 am Post subject: Re: Why do people do this? |
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| joe_doufu wrote: |
| I've had the exact same experience, a Korean girl going on dates with me but not letting me so much as hold her hand unless we were on an unlit path in the park, or behind closed doors. And it didn't even occur to her that that might be offensive to me. |
You find not holding hands offensive? |
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joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 2:55 am Post subject: Re: Why do people do this? |
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| Gord wrote: |
| joe_doufu wrote: |
| I've had the exact same experience, a Korean girl going on dates with me but not letting me so much as hold her hand unless we were on an unlit path in the park, or behind closed doors. And it didn't even occur to her that that might be offensive to me. |
You find not holding hands offensive? |
I find the attitude of "not here! somebody who knows me might see me with you!" offensive. Especially since she had already had her way with me in my apartment... call me sentimental but I like to be a little bit friendly after zipping up. |
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