Korean Job Discussion Forums

[antoniothegreat]

we all have heard them, so i figured we could share them. I want to hear the funny things your students and co-teachers have said when they mess up in English. Here are a few.

when i first arrived to Korea, a teacher asked me, in front of the class, if I "have eaten any octopussy in Korea yet."

doing dictation, in a restauarant setting a student misspelled coke and wrote on the board " I would like a hamburger and a (starts with "c" and rhymes with lock) please."

replying to how we were going to get to dinner, my co-teacher said "Mr Yang will ride us there."

filling in the blanks of Jingle Bell Rock, a student misheard horse and said "Giddy up jingle (starts with wh and rhymes with door), pick up your feet."

working too hard on his soft "i" sound, a man told me he would go to the East Sea and visit the nice bitc#.

he he he...

[laogaiguk]

Well, as a student of Japanese I once asked my Japanese co worker (a cute girl too)

��Ϫ��ʪ��Ρ��ު󪳡���̸������(watashi wa anata no manko ga mitai)
I want to see your manko.

I wanted to say

��Ϫ��ʪ��Ρ��Ϫ󪳡���̸������ (watashi wa anata no hanko ga mitai)
I want to see your hanko.

Now, a hanko is the name stamp the Japanese use instead of a signature. A manko, directly translated, starts with a c, ends with a t, and has a "u" and a "n" inbetween. Also, there was no context, I just saw her and thought about it and wanted to see it. You can imagine the rest

[Ryst Helmut]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

At a district speech competition I saw two middle school boys start out saying "I'm _________", "and I'm __________", "and we're intimate frields!"

[riley]

My favorite came from when I was teaching a high level 6th grade class. Somehow in the story the word puberty came up. I asked if they knew what it was and a girl said, "Isn't that when you fight with your mom alot?"

[Hyeon Een]

This strange guy I used to work in the same building as discovered me in my lunch restaurant, and sat down for a chat. As usual he was telling me about how he isn't married and how he wants to be. Then he says:

"Sometimes I feel the need for a woman.."
and I nod sympathetically, to which he responds
"do you want some c*ck?"

I choked for a second before I got what he actually meant rather than what he said.

In Exploring English 1 there is a page with a bunch of people in the park, and the family at the front are having a barbecue. I was asking them to describe what is going on in the picture. One cute middle school girl says "It looks like a sausage party"; as she jabbed her finger at the man cooking.

A few minutes ago I was sitting in the library reading the newspaper. You don't get many middleaged guys coming in to the public library during the day, as most people in their age group work at some kind of job. Its mostly the really strange ones who are there (like the guy who wears military fatigues but was never even conscripted because he's mental; and the other guy who wants to be King and swears he is a Saint.) Anyway I was sitting down, a man stares at me and says "You are handsome. English is, truly, a global language." and walks off. That was surreal.

[peppermint]

There's been a few, but the current favorite was from a supervisor who was translating a note from the school board on standards for foreign teachers

" Don't smoke. . Don't teach at other schools. . Don't come to school too naked. . "

How naked is too naked?

[PEIGUY]

This came from one of my kids (gr 1) but, did 2 years of English kindy.. who is very smart. A boy was coughing in class so I asked him if he was ok. Her reply " His condition is not good today." I was amazed.. she's very good at absorbing vocabulary and expression and learning how to use them. One day she said I was "so showing off"

[n3ptne]

[Ekuboko]

I stayed at school late tonight and left the building with four female teachers (in their 40's).
One of them has a car, and one other teacher got in to get a lift home.
I was going the other direction, so was walking down the school driveway, but the teacher driving was hassling the remaining teacher to get in the car, which only resulted in the latter looping her arm through mine and insisting her and I would walk to the bus stop together.

Eventually the driver gave up screaming at us to get in the car and left us to walk... after which my new companion said to me "Blahblah Teacher is very kind because she wanted to ride me home."

This is not the first time I've heard this from teachers with very good English!

[ilovebdt]

I was in my local supermarket a couple of weeks back walking past the fresh fish counter when the fishmonger suddenly pipes up in English "Welcome to Fish".

[sarahsarah]

[ddeubel]

some of these lines have been hilarious. Very enjoyable read.

I have 2 to add.

One, a number of years ago from a very intelligent but lazy kid. Every class he would sit half asleep, just above it all......One day I offered the kids the choice of playing some board games. We started and he would n't join in (no big surprise). I asked him why not (just going through the motions) and this super cool kid just looked up at me and said, "These are bored games....."

Two. This year while teaching a demonstration class, one student who is eager but really at a low level, in his eagerness blurts out ........ teacher , teacher, I am a difficult student!!! He got it right on both counts and I was smiling the whole lesson.

DD "always looking to eat some octopussy..."

[baldrick]

In recent memory, the following.

When creating imaginary superheros, I receieved one called 'Crazy Funky Homo'.
Today, creating a christmas cartoon strip, the girls story was called 'Precipitation Santa'. This is a Grade 4 LOW level class. This one I blame on the electronic dictionary.

[The Kung Fu Hustle]