Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kermo]

I've heard some bad ones, and some lame ones, but this week has been such a treasure trove that I had to share.

Here's one. I'm making my way across the dance floor to talk to some friends. I'm groovin'. A dashing gyopo starts to dance with me, so I oblige a little. We bust a move or two, then his first words to me prove to be his last:
"You've got a big, nice ass. That's so sexy." Why, why why did he have to use the word big? Why oh why did he pick that particular body part?
Questions abound, and I can't think of a thing to say, so I turn and walk quickly away. I see him with his arms folded, leaning against the wall for the rest of the night.

Just a few hours ago, an enormous Korean lumbers up and breaks into a conversation I am having with a friend. This guy wins for Most Spectacular Crash and Burn. His missteps were too numerous to recount, but I'll summarize: he could, and should, write a book about how pick-ups DO NOT work. He's got an Australian accent. He explains that he was adopted, then clarifies that he was just kidding. I'm confused. He answers my jokes with the non-committal "Okay, okay." He asks us a series of banal and seemingly random questions. I politely inquire if he had anything particular in mind when he arrived, and he says the very thing you should never never say to a woman:

You need a pick-me-up. How about I buy you drink... it's called Bacardi 151."

Instantly, we're suspicious and hostile. This man means to do us harm. We refuse, citing a reluctance to make Bad Life Choices. He tries to persuade us, but I change the topic, asking him he does for a living. He tells me he works as a legal consultant, then changes his mind, saying he's in marketing. Finally, he decides that he's a used car salesman, and offers us a very good deal on used Audis. He offers his name card, and I'm ready to get rid of him, so I say coolly "Thank you, and we'll call you if we need an Audi." He asks us again to take a shot of 151, and we refuse.
"Well, can I have one?" he asks, but doesn't order anything.
Finally, he confesses that he is not a used car salesman, and I confess that I don't really get his sense of humour. He promises to answer any subsequent questions with complete honesty, so I ask:
"Ok. Tell me honestly. How do you think this is going?"
"You mean, this bar, or you and me?"
"You and me."
"Great!"
I respectfully disagree. I tell him gently, "I would say 'Not so well.'"
He asks "So you're rejecting me?" I reluctantly agree, hoping this spells the end. "Okay, that's okay. It's not the first time... tonight." This could have been a good joke or a sad reality.

Unfortunately, the conversation goes on. He's not ready to give up. His friends shows up, ready to go on home, but this optimistic man actually attempts a guilt trip and refuses to surrender. I agree with the friend, and tell the valiant man to head home-- things aren't going his way, but next time he'll have a clean slate and he can start over. He finally agrees, only to reappear a few minutes later for a last goodbye. He asks for a handshake, but takes my hand and tries to kiss it. This is something up with which I will not put, and I wrench it away. Bye.

Anyway, if you get shot down, you can read this and either learn something, or laugh at a poor sap and tell yourself you're a pretty smooth operator. Lest I come off as an arrogant jerk, I'll certainly tell you about some of my own failed attempts as the thread grows. Share!

I'm annoyed at this man for being a nuisance, but I'm just as annoyed for making me a) embarrassed on his behalf and b) feel like a mean girl.

[Bo Peabody]

Miss Kermo,
I am nominating you for the 2005 Dave's Awards Post of the Year.
You rock!!!!

[Satori]

Anything. I mean anything that actually is a "pick up line" always fails. Well, it does with the sophisticated ladies I go for. I find the ONLY way to go is straight up, no chaser. I favour "Hi" or it's close cousin, "Hi, how are you?". For some women this is too straight up, but that's a natural filter for me cause Im not interested in those types.

[TheFonz]

My best pick up line is to throw two thumbs up and say, ��Aaaayh�� or I just snap my fingers and ladies throw themselves at me. Plus hitting the jukebox without having to use quarters is cool��




In my hometown at a local bar in South Carolina an old acquaintance from high school came up to the bar where I was sitting. He didn��t recognize me so I started up a conversation with him about some people we had both hung out with together. The guy was really smashed, and after a little bit of conversation he started to flirt with me and hit on me. He even said flat out, ��I bet you have a big ****��. I was shocked because I just wasn��t expected to get hit on by this old acquaintance from high school. I��m not gay, and I politely told the guy I was not that type of person. I try to change the subject and then he tries to grab my stomach. At this point I push his hand away and say, ��Dude, didn��t you just hear me I am not like that.�� Shortly after he got kicked out for bothering other people in the same manner. I just thought this was pretty strange because of how direct he was and with no reason to think I would be interested. The amount of alcohol he had obviously played a part in the situation but I was still no doubt surprised. I guess I just got a small taste of what you ladies go through...

[Hater Depot]

I was sitting in a kimbap place and wound up sitting next to a group of guys who'd just gotten done drinking a lot more than I had. They were fascinated that I had a big nose and asked me if I knew what that meant. I said well, no, actually I didn't. One of the stood up and shouted "BIG *beep*!!" while gesturing at crotch. Nor did he do it just once. He didn't ask for my number though.

[kermo]

Wow, this thread has taken a rather unexpected turn.

[peppermint]

Friend is sitting at PC bang, noticed cute white chick surfing Daves .

"So, I see you're on Daves, I post as (name ommitted to protect the poor boy) on there. "

Turns out, she didn't even have a username here, was just looking for a number for the labor board, and he didn't even get her number.

[joe_doufu]

Korean chicks have tried (i think) to pick me up by doing nothing at all and sort of waiting for me to tell them what to do. This was when I first arrived and tried using the internet (friendster, specifically) to meet people. The first couple girls I met both refused to tell me what they liked to do, where they wanted to go, what kind of food or drink they desired... leaving me to try and invent a pleasant date. Which is impossible when you barely know the country or city you're in.

This is not just a Korean thing, I've gone out with extremely passive American women of more than one color, too... but the Korean girls seem to break new grounds in passiveness. One would actually make sure she was always walking just behind my right shoulder. And they would flat-out refuse to answer questions about their food + drink choices.

[eamo]

I don't like this whole culture. The OP's post is a great example of it.

So guys have to pass some kind of test to just get a bit of a girls time? Even though she doesn't have to do anything except be entertained by his attempts to show he's interested in her and get bought drinks and stuff.

Yet all the time she has to pretend she's not interested so as to not look easy but actually she would like nothing more than to hook up with someone.

It's a bit one-sided, isn't it? Bit too much work for the guys.

[khyber]

[merlot]

Pick-up line: ��Hi�� is absolutely the best line, because it��s not a line, rather a friendly gesture.

But in my younger days I had to go though an array of experimentation before I learned this. One time a friend of mine and I knocked over a whole table (accidentally on purpose) just to meet the girls sitting there. It was this Mexican food restaurant in Austin, Jorge��s, and they��re famous for their very strong margaritas; we had gone way over the house recommended limit of two. Anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it didn��t work out all that well. Then, we had an accident with a cement truck leaving the restaurant.

But, I digress--back to the present. Also, a little trick (beside the non-trick of simply saying ��Hi, how are you?��) I��ve learned in bars is to position oneself in the path of the ladies restroom—that way you get to check out every lady in the place in short order.

The exit strategy: So things are going well (after the ��hi�� blah, blah, blah thing) and you want to test the waters. Say: ��Where else do you know around here that��s a good place?�� Follow up with inquisitive-like hints about going to one of these other places. You can get a good idea if she��s into you or not. It��s not like you��re trying to get her to come to your place and leave footprints on the ceiling. It��s just a short walk to another, perhaps quieter place for another drink. It��s perfect as a barometer conversation topic. Remember, if you leave together you have technically picked her up; then, you��d better have some charm if you want the candy.

As far as the double standard thing mentioned—it��s certainly does not seem fair. But most double standards are to the advantage of the male so I guess we just have to put up with these things.

However, I have heard of and seen some imaginative ways of turning things around that both the guys and girls really get into. It works something like this: There is a designated day (like the first Saturday night each month, for example) where it��s ��ladies ask the guys out day.�� This idea also overflows into bars—as in ladies asking men to dance, trying out their lines, etc., etc., and generally turns the international flirting customs upside down.

Could this be fun for all in Itawon on a particular night?

[JongnoGuru]

I don't know how it appears to girls in pick-up land, but I doubt most guys in general use or even know any pick-up lines. And those who do, so what? Different guys can use the same line on the same girl, and as corny or pathetic or unfunny as it may be, she'll respond positively to the guys she thinks look hot and roll her eyes at the rest. Most of the time, for most women looking to get picked up (whether they'll admit it or not), lines themselves don't succeed or fail. Physical attributes and self-confidence do.

So why bother? Be yourself, be confident, and leave the lines for the suckers. Seriously, can anyone hear or even read pick-up lines and not think of bad '70s disco movies?

[Satori]

[joe_doufu]

I think the purpose of a pick-up line is that it gives you something to do, even as a last resort, so you can't say to yourself "i don't know what to do". I suppose it's better to be the boy that can't do any better than a stupid pickup line, than to be the one who psyches himself out of even approaching the girl.

I too will welcome the day when women start making first moves themselves. However, the few who do so in today's world (and there are a few) are so rare and special that they can do a lot better than the likes of me. So I don't expect a lot of calls.[/i]

[Hater Depot]

It's best to think of it as a chat-up line rather than a pick-up line. Never underestimate the power of lowered expectations.