Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Sooke]

Disclaimer: This is all for fun and not meant to be a dis' to any particular nation.


OK, this premise rests on a number of assumptions, the first of which being that many countries have an unoffical animal which usually represents them (ie: USA-bald eagle, Canada-beaver, Australia-kangaroo(emu?), New Zealand-Kiwi, et cetera.) Of course, these animals may or may not be officially recognized by the country in question, but they have been used to represent the country in the past (via political cartoons, propaganda posters, etc.) [unnoficial lists can be found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_emblems and here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_national_animals

Animals will be judged on coolness, cuteness, and overall ass-kickingness for a combined total out 15.

USA - Bald Eagle


Coolness 5/5
Cuteness 2/5
Asskickingness 5/5
The bald eagle scores high in all areas but cuteness. C'mon, you got to admit, it's a pretty cool and intimidating animal. An all around high score, except it lost a few points in the cuteness category because birds are kind of creepy-like little dinosaurs. The eagle seems to be a symbol for strong countries (Rome, Bad Germany, etc.)
Total Score 12/15

England/Great Britain - Bulldog


Coolness 4/5
Cutness 4/5
Asskickingness 3.5/5

I know some people will scream that the Imperial Lion should be the national symbol, and maybe it should be (the bulldog is kind of a Churchill thing.) However, angry Brits should keep in mind that the bulldog walks out of the showdown with a fairly solid score. The bulldog is a pretty cool dog (and the Dutch cafe by the same name sells weed-bonus points), and it would do pretty well in a fight with most other dogs. It loses a few points for it's stout stature, but does walk out with a high cuteness score (like Hooch from the movie!).
Total Score 11.5/15

Canada - Beaver


Coolness 3/5
Cuteness 4/5
Asskickingness 1/5

Despite this being my national animal, the proud beaver takes a mighty pounding at the showdown tonight. The beaver gets a mediocre coolness rating, even taking into account the amount of sophomoric jokes one can make with it [see: http://www.wickedsunshine.com/GCBEC/GCBEC-FunWithBeavers.html] The cuteness factor is obviously high, but the beaver takes a thrashing in the asskickingness category. I have never seen a beaver fight any other animal, but I remember my dog chasing them one day at the lake and they swam away.
Total Score 8/15

Australia - Kangaroo


Coolness 3/5
Cuteness 4/5
Asskickingness 3.5/5

The Kangaroo also has a mediocre showing in the coolness category, because when you think of cool animals, the kangaroo certainly doesn't come to mind. But they can jump, and that's kinda cool. Kangaroos, especially joeys, are pretty cute, hence the high score. The asskickingness score may cause some controversy. While the kangaroo doesn't exactly scream "KICKASS!!!!", I have seen them do kangaroo boxing, and a couple of 'em could probably knock down a man if they tried (I am not clear on this concept-can a kangaroo lay the beats on an average man?)Anyway, the kangaroo hops out of the showdown with a respectable 10.5. (I have not considered the Koala because I figured the symbol of the RAAF implies that the kangaroo is the national animal.)
Total Score 10.5/15

New Zealand - Kiwi Bird

[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/df/150px-RNZAF_Roundel.jpg[img]


Coolness 2/5
Cuteness 5/5
Asskickingness 0.5/5

The unfortunate kiwi is the only animal which scores lower than Canada. While the kiwi's cuteness score is the highest, it's coolness factor leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, I guess it's kind of a neat bird, but i can't even make any dirty jokes with it. As an asskicking animal, however, the kiwi fails miserably. Small birds are often skittish, and i don't think the kiwi could kick a whole lot of ass.
Total Score 7.5/15

South Africa - Springbok

[img]http://www.sarugby.com/store/prodimages/Springbok/CI3306BokJerseyShort.jpg[img]

Coolness 4/5
Cutness 4/5
Asskickingness 3.5/5
It could be the exotic quality of the springbok, but I think it looks pretty cool. It's kinda like a deer, but with a set of bad-ass horns. High coolness. Cuteness score is also high, like Bambi, with a mean set of horns. One might think the asskicking score would be quite high, however, being a herd animal, I would assume springboks would run away from any perceived danger. You can't kick much ass while running away. I do think though, that those horns could gore a dude if a springbok was cornered. However, I have no experience with this.
Total Score 11.5/15

Ireland - Leprechaun


Just kidding. I don't know what the Irish national animal is.

Well, there are plenty more animals to do: the Russian bear, The French Rooster, the Korean tiger, etc. Please feel free to add you own or dispute my scores.

[BigBuds]

Kangaroos have actually killed people. Imagaine taking a full on kick with those hind legs. They balance on their tails and can kick the s#$t out of you. Some of those guys who use to box with them in the early 1900s were killed by them. They also have some pretty vicious claws on them.

They're also famous for destroying cars, buses, and trucks.

But then again, there are the drop bears. They're the ones you really have to worry about if you ever travel down under. Vicious little buggers they are.

[kermo]

[krats1976]

Interesting topic idea...

[krats1976]

I love that both Scotland & Wales are represented (at least according to Wikipedia ) by ficticious creatures.


Scotland:





Coolness: very subjective. If you're Napoleon Dynamite it's a 7 out of 5. If you're any other human over the age of 12, maybe 2/5 (maybe less?).
Cuteness: 4/5 (can be very cute... or more regal)
Asskickingness: 5/5... seriously, would you want to be on the wrong side of that horn?

Total: 11/15 (16/15 for Napoleon)


Wales


Coolness: 5/5
Cuteness: 3/5 (c'mon, they made a beanie baby out of it!!)

Asskickingness: 5/5

Total: 13/15

[EFLtrainer]

I think you should change cuteness to something else. Maybe visual appeal, because eagles are beautiful animals and I'd give the bald eagle a 5/5 in that dept.

[Sooke]

I knew about the Welsh dragon (on the flag) but the unicorn for Scotland was a shock. I have never before made the connection between unicorns and Scotland. Scotland's animal should be the Loch Ness Monster, but I guess no one really knows what it looks like.

About changing the cuteness category, sure. I just couldn't think of a third category, and I wanted to have something on there to beef up the scores of the wimpier animals, such as the kiwi or beaver. The images in my mind were of how cute a stuffed toy representing the animal would be. A beaver may be kind of cute, but it's not a particularly majestic animal.

While we're here, how about possible ideas for cooler animals for countries.
First------Canada--------New Animal: Polar Bear!!! Yeah!!!

[laogaiguk]

I still don't think any national animal I know of atleast can beat the Welsh Dragon. It's a dragon (but you could exclude it as it doesn't, and most likely never existed)

[Pligganease]

[antoniothegreat]

anyone know what animal would represent Korea? i cant explain it, but a vulture just came to mind...

[krats1976]

[schwa]

I submit Bhutan's national symbol: the takin.

[The evil penguin]

You didn't account for taste...... I reckon our kangaroos are much more delicious (a word i NEVER used until coming to korea) than one of those belly scraping kiwi bird things... And thats gotta be worth a few extra points.. Not that I've ever eaten a kiwi. The animal not the fruit. I like the fruit... Which brings to attention another point.... any animal that shares it's name with a small fruit kinda automatically loses respect and credibility...

And a springbok scoring higher than a kangaroo?? Come on... put a big red in the ring with one of those african glorified bambis and see who's still jumping at the end of the first round...

The canadian beaver? Beaver... thats just a big *beep* in the aussie vernacular.... Polar bear? hmph... overgrown bloody koala that can't even climb a gum tree..... bah...

Bald eagle?? Our wedgetails could give that thing a run for its money... and with a full head of feathers as well...

[Barking Mad Lord Snapcase]

[Barking Mad Lord Snapcase]

The polar bear, lion and tiger would each score a minimum of 14.

BTW, is that pic with the husky real?

Edit: Evidently it is!

http: //www.polarbearworld.com/seduction.htm#1