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Help for a Korean-American Mother's (freeloading?) Son
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Wrench



Joined: 07 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its called cold boot in the ass. Tell him he is on his own.
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teachingld2004



Joined: 29 Mar 2004

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: 24 year old mooch Reply with quote

Forgive me in advance for saying this....but is this post a joke? If this 24 year old "kid" dropped out of school 3 times, why does he have chance number 4? Why does he not have a job?

I can understand helping him if this was a first.

Currently I am helping my son with college. As a matter of fact I told him for the next 2 years I would pay his rent, as long as he passes all his classes. He also is 24. He has worked since he was 16 years old. I offered to do this, he did not ask. He still has his job, and they let him now work part time. He does not even want to take my money, I want to do this.

Some times we can help our family, but we do not have to help them use us. This kid is using you.
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joe_doufu



Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My little brother went to a state university near our home. He has an IQ of 150+ but he didn't want to admit it when we were young because I do, too... and he wanted to be the anti-Joe. Anyway, the university was far too easy for him and - surprise - he was so bored he dropped out. Years later he found a school, not famous and highly ranked, but top ranked in its niche of forestry/ecology science, and he was much happier there. He's now in the Peace Corps teaching people how to manage forests in Cameroon, or some such thing.
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joe_doufu



Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:54 am    Post subject: Re: 24 year old mooch Reply with quote

teachingld2004 wrote:
Some times we can help our family, but we do not have to help them use us. This kid is using you.

You can say that again.
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SuperFly



Joined: 09 Jul 2003
Location: In the doghouse

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been married for seven years and haven't been lucky enough to have a kid yet...but if I did, if I were lucky enough to have a child, I'd want that child to be as well prepared with mad skills for the hardships in in this cruel world. If I had a kid, he/she would have every opportunity to get back into school they needed, as long as I saw that the kid was putting his heart into it...and if he wasn't doing that, I would do my best to try to motivate him/her.
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peemil



Joined: 09 Feb 2003
Location: Koowoompa

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A good kick in the arse always helps.
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Nowhere Man



Joined: 08 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:21 am    Post subject: ... Reply with quote

Assuming this isn't a joke...

Necessity is the mother of invention.

What's missing from this story is said 24-year-old's lifestyle. Does he have a cell-phone? A car? A social life? If so, who's footing the bill?

Hopefully it's him and not you. He should be paying his own way.

If he continues to live with you, he should pay rent and an allowance for the food he eats.

Golf school? He can secure the loan? Alone or with a co-signer? It's time to stop co-signing. If he can still pull off golf school without anyone's help, then more power to him, but I somehow doubt it.

In very simple words, he should be self-supporting.

That's the first step.

Now, anyone can be intimidated by debt. And perhaps his debt is why he's swinging for the fences with the pro-golf route. But, the reality of that panning out is the same for those who decide they're going to be rock stars. Follow your fantasy BUT/IF you can afford the bills.

On the other hand, $90,000 may seem like a lot to pay, but people do it, and they do it by digging in and starting to work.

Your first full-time job is going to suck. That's almost a given. But that first sucky job is what inspires you to get the second less-sucky job, the third almost so-so job and so on until, from your experience in the job market, you get an inkling of what you'd like to do and finally find an OK job. By then, you have an idea about the training, qualifications, and experience that you need to get your first decent job. You build off your first decent job and seek the job you prefer and the income you can command. That's how it works.

Or you indulge in delusions of defeating Phil Mickelson at the US Open and winning a million...

That said, you could also buy $25,000 in lottery tickets. Rolling Eyes

I'm still of 2 minds on this. I grew up without a lot of $, but graduated with a degree in a field I knew I wasn't interested in. I was extremely intimidated by the notion of making it on my own. I sold photocopiers, I managed telephone book deliveries, then I found my way into teaching at the bottom of the hagwon barrel. It sucked, I was in Korea for the IMF, but I climbed. And now I'm happy.

And that's what I say. You have to climb. Not this job, but any job.

I'd have happily lived forever in my college lifestyle if someone had just let me linger there, but that wasn't an option.

I realize it's different for Koreans. They tend to support their children until they're married. HOWEVER, by no stretch of the imagination do Koreans let their children drop out of 3 colleges and just go along with it.

That's BS and so is a 24-year-old who can't support himself.

Someone has allowed this to happen and it won't end until someone stops letting it happen.
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