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What's The Stupidest Thing...
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:49 pm    Post subject: What's The Stupidest Thing... Reply with quote

Once upon a time I was taking roll at the beginning of 1st Period class and noticed a group of guys were kind of stirred up. I looked to see if anything was unusual and sure enough, James had a big bandage on his hand.

"James, what happened to your hand?"

"Ummm...er, uh...I hurt it."

Being swift on the uptake, I said, "Yes I see that. What happened?" I figured there would be a good story in this, especially because it involved James.

"Oh, ah...umm, uhhhh..."

"Oh go ahead. We're all friends here. You can tell us."

A couple of other students piped in, "Yeah, James. Tell 'im what you did last night. Har-har-har!"

After some more heming and hawing James broke down and told us.

"I was at a party Dave's house. We weren't drinkin' or nothin'. (Wink, wink) and Dave comes in with his new rifle. Ya know how he's always braggin' about what a hot shot he is..." (No, I had never heard Dave brag about his shooting, but anyway...)

"What does Dave's new rifle have to do with your hand?" I innocently asked. "What did you do, drop it on your hand?"

"Um no. He shot my hand."

"HE SHOT YOUR HAND!!?? How did that happen, James?"

"I asked him to."

"Wait, wait, wait. You ASKED him to shoot your hand?"

"Well, not exactly. I told him I didn't think he could hit my hand. I held it out and he shot it. I was wrong about his aim. He's better than I thought."

After the class calmed down enough that I could make myself heard, I asked him if he went to the hospital.

James said, "Yes and no. We went but they asked what happened and I didn't want to get Dave in trouble. He's my friend. So we left the hospital."

Later that day the cops called and I had to go to the cop shop and write a statement about all this.

So....

What is something stupid you or someone you know did?
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Cohiba



Joined: 01 Feb 2005

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:54 pm    Post subject: Stupidest Thing Reply with quote

I started posting on this board.
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Corporal



Joined: 25 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Continuing with the gun theme...

A guy in my high school was sitting near his apartment window, holding his rifle. He was (allegedly) just looking it over, cleaning it, fiddling with it, whatever. It wasn't supposed to be loaded or anything. Then, he sighted with it out the window towards a nearby playground. There was a little girl playing by herself on the swings. He focused on her. (Again, allegedly for no particular reason). Why he pulled the trigger who knows. But the gun was loaded and she was instantly killed.
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canuckistan
Mod Team
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Joined: 17 Jun 2003
Location: Training future GS competitors.....

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guns. Gotta love 'em. Confused
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laogaiguk



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I still love the line from Family Guy when they are in the gun store...

Chris: Why can't we have a gun Dad?
Peter: Because the men in our family have pen!ses.

(I can't remember it word for word, and can't find it, but it was funny).
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vox



Joined: 13 Feb 2005
Location: Jeollabukdo

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the Darwin awards a few years back, a southern preacher was delivering a passionate sermon about the problem of gun violence and the threat it poses to the community's youth. He put the gun up to his head and made some statement about community silence or indifference or something and pulled the trigger to fire the blank he had loaded.

Apparently blanks have a paper or cardboard cartridge that shoots out and is deadly the first few feet out, and harmless beyond that. Short story, he accidentally killed himself in the middle of a service.

-edit- sorry, not someone I knew! Shocked


Last edited by vox on Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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SarcasmKills



Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

vox wrote:
On the Darwin awards a few years back, a southern preacher was delivering a passionate sermon about the problem of gun violence and the threat it poses to the community's youth. He put the gun up to his head and made some statement about community silence or indifference or something and pulled the trigger to fire the blank he had loaded.

Apparently blanks have a paper or cardboard cartridge that shoots out and is deadly the first few feet out, and harmless beyond that. Short story, he accidentally killed himself in the middle of a service.


Alleluia!
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SarcasmKills



Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:55 pm    Post subject: Re: What's The Stupidest Thing... Reply with quote

I thought for sure that this was going to be a masterbaeshun gone wrong story. (spelling errors done on purpose to avoid the damn filter)

Ya-ta Boy wrote:
Once upon a time I was taking roll at the beginning of 1st Period class and noticed a group of guys were kind of stirred up. I looked to see if anything was unusual and sure enough, James had a big bandage on his hand.

"James, what happened to your hand?"

"Ummm...er, uh...I hurt it."

Being swift on the uptake, I said, "Yes I see that. What happened?" I figured there would be a good story in this, especially because it involved James.

"Oh, ah...umm, uhhhh..."

"Oh go ahead. We're all friends here. You can tell us."

A couple of other students piped in, "Yeah, James. Tell 'im what you did last night. Har-har-har!"

After some more heming and hawing James broke down and told us.

"I was at a party Dave's house. We weren't drinkin' or nothin'. (Wink, wink) and Dave comes in with his new rifle. Ya know how he's always braggin' about what a hot shot he is..." (No, I had never heard Dave brag about his shooting, but anyway...)

"What does Dave's new rifle have to do with your hand?" I innocently asked. "What did you do, drop it on your hand?"

"Um no. He shot my hand."

"HE SHOT YOUR HAND!!?? How did that happen, James?"

"I asked him to."

"Wait, wait, wait. You ASKED him to shoot your hand?"

"Well, not exactly. I told him I didn't think he could hit my hand. I held it out and he shot it. I was wrong about his aim. He's better than I thought."

After the class calmed down enough that I could make myself heard, I asked him if he went to the hospital.

James said, "Yes and no. We went but they asked what happened and I didn't want to get Dave in trouble. He's my friend. So we left the hospital."

Later that day the cops called and I had to go to the cop shop and write a statement about all this.

So....

What is something stupid you or someone you know did?
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riley



Joined: 08 Feb 2003
Location: where creditors can find me

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To continue the gun theme but with a happier ending.

In my high school there was a guy who decided to wait and kill his teacher before school. He came about 4am in his car loaded with rifles and guns. Then waited and waited ... ... fell asleep.
Neighbors walking by called the police and they woke him up and arrested the dumb ass before he could hurt anyone.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, there wasn't supposed to be a gun theme to this thread. Just stories about stupid people.
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laogaiguk



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 11:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya-ta Boy wrote:
Actually, there wasn't supposed to be a gun theme to this thread. Just stories about stupid people.


Hand in hand Wink

I read a few years ago during a KKK initiation they wanted to scare the initiate so they tied him up and blindfolded him. They put a gun to his head and another guy shot one up into the air. Bullet came back down and killed the initiate.
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ddeubel



Joined: 20 Jul 2005

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stupidest thing I've ever done was try to fix my laptop.

I spilt water over the keyboard. Yikes!!! So being the Einstein I am, I think, no problemo. Water evaporates, things dry. I take out the hair dryer and begin to kick start nature. It is working well and I am thinking to myself -- yes, I'll be back on line in no time!!!!

The doorbell rings. So being the Henry Ford of efficiency I am, I set the hairdryer down on the laptop so it may continue to work in my short absence. I answer the door. Landlord wanting the rent money. Quick conversation and I go back to the laptop.

A mess!!!! The hairdryer is embedded in the keyboard, everything a goooey (sp) glob. Damn! The whole keyboard and other things, melted and looking like black chocolate on a wafer. It was awhile, a few weeks, before I was back online.

Moral of the story. Like a lover might say --- Sometimes quick is not better.

DD
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 9:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Corporal wrote:
Continuing with the gun theme...

A guy in my high school was sitting near his apartment window, holding his rifle. He was (allegedly) just looking it over, cleaning it, fiddling with it, whatever. It wasn't supposed to be loaded or anything. Then, he sighted with it out the window towards a nearby playground. There was a little girl playing by herself on the swings. He focused on her. (Again, allegedly for no particular reason). Why he pulled the trigger who knows. But the gun was loaded and she was instantly killed.


What happened to the killer?
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 11:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Several comments:

1. There sure seem to be a plethora of gun nuts frequenting Dave's this week. And I think most of them are not even Americans.

2. Mr./Ms ddeubel

Great story! I originally asked for stories about other people because I didn't expect anyone to admit their own...ummm, unfortunate choices in life.

But since you fessed up and your story reminded me of one of my less than dazzling moments...

I've mentioned elsewhere that procrastination is one of the crosses I bear in this life. Once upon a time the dishes piled up in my sink, as dishes sometimes do. Then I got a call from my sister-in-law that she was on her way over. Being a genius, I stashed all the (plastic) dishes in the oven and had a nice chat with the s-i-l. After she left I got hungry and decided to eat a meat pie. You can see where this is going. Yes, I melted my dishes. All of them. Burnt plastic is nasty to try to get out of an oven. Let this be a lesson to all of you. When your sister-in-law calls, say you were just on the way out the door and you'll drop by her place later.
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Mills



Joined: 07 Jan 2006
Location: Incheon

PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

laogaiguk wrote:
I still love the line from Family Guy when they are in the gun store...

Chris: Why can't we have a gun Dad?
Peter: Because the men in our family have pen!ses.

(I can't remember it word for word, and can't find it, but it was funny).


Simpsons, The Cartridge Family is the fifth episode of The Simpsons' ninth season.

Gun Shop Owner: Well, you'll probably want the accessory kit. Holster...
Homer: Oh, yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: Bandoleer.
Homer: Baby.
Gun Shop Owner: Silencer.
Homer: Mmm-hmm.
Gun Shop Owner: Loudener.
Homer: [drooling noise]
Gun Shop Owner: Speed-c o c k e r.
Homer: Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Gun Shop Owner: And this is for shooting down police helicopters.
Homer: Oh, I don't need anything like that...yet. Just give me my gun!
Gun Shop Owner (begins wrestling with Homer for the gun): Sorry pal. The law requires a five day waiting period. We've got to run a background check.
Homer: Five days?! But I'm mad now! (gun shop owner pulls Homer's gun out of his hands) I'd kill you if I had my gun!
Gun Shop Owner (calm): Yeah, well, ya don't.
Homer: How can I go five days without shooting something? (the song "The Waiting" by Tom Petty begins playing as several potential targets go by during the five days)
Gun Shop Owner (five days later): Let's take a look at your background check. It says here you were in a mental hospital...
Homer: Yup.
Gun Shop Owner: ...frequent problems with alcohol...
Homer: Oh yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: ...beat up President Bush.
Homer: Former president. (the gun shop owner puts a stamp on Homer's forms) "Potentially dangerous"?!
Gun Shop Owner: Relax. It just limits you to three handguns or less.
Homer: Whoo-hoo!
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