Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mysterious700]

This is an open ended question. How is dating in Korea? Do koreans seek out westerners? Do korean women pursue western men? Do white women? Where does one go to meet members of the opposite sex?

[kermo]

[paperbag princess]

[sjrm]

nobody has to date here, some just prefer not to.

[RACETRAITOR]

Korea isn't really a country with a dating scene. That's why it's not rare to see very attractive 30-year-olds who are still virgins. They just don't know how to meet each other and there isn't really a culture behind dating and meeting that we have in the west. Sometimes it gives us an advantage.

As a general rule, if you meet a girl who goes for white guys, make sure you wear two condoms.

[nautilus]

[quote="RACETRAITOR"]

[JZer]

If you want to get lucky in Korea go for the divorcees. They have many things going for them.

1. they are not virgins
2. They probably loath Korean men.
3. They believe that you will be their savior.

[Mashimaro]

[SHANE02]

[Someone who doesn't know what they are talking about wrote: Now K-women who get with foreigners form a sort of fringe element of society- either they want an escape from Korea to the west, or are somehow damaged;- juicy girls, hookers, divorcees, etc all somehow have black marks against them in rigid korean society.

[mindmetoo]

My maxim is "it's easy to get a date in Seoul... A being the operative word."

Mileage varies of course, but many women are quite happy to have a coffee date with a foreigner but they're not looking for a ticket out of the country. Unless they've lived abroad already few Korean women could conceive of a world more perfect than Korea. Add into the mix having a whitey on her arm isn't generally a status symbol but possibly will brand her in public as a gutter snipe. Women don't even smoke in public for fear they'll be called STD dripping ditch pigs.

Also add into the mix that, unless you speak Korean, you're competing with everyone else for the subset of Korean women who speak English. Odds are that means they're middle or upper class. They either have careers or career potential in modern Korea with their English skills. While their English skills can carry them far in import/export, banking, hospitality, etc., they might only be qualified to waitress in North America. So dating you, falling in love with you, might in their minds mean an end to any short term fulfilling career prospects.

Also add into the mix they didn't get those english skills without their parents investing huge sums of money in their education. Koreans put duty to family before most everything else. My GF hands over half her salary to her parents for no other reason than they're her parents. A Korean woman generally pays her family back by marrying an upstanding Korean male and birthing two sons.

Also add into the mix Korean women generally want the exact same man: an SNU grad who is Samsung Jr. Exec material. They're not so clueless as to be ignorant of the fact many ESL teachers in Korea have poor job prospects back at home. That's not so sexy.

There are a lot of minefields to negotiate in dating in Korea. The field isn't impossible to navigate mind you. Just don't think being in Korea is the equivalent of the Brit (or exotic accented foreign guy) in an American pub. If you bring a sense of humor to the table and a load of funny, charming stories about teaching Korean children English, you can wow em.

[RACETRAITOR]

[SPINOZA]

Whilst there's much to be said for some of the generalizations made in this thread, it differs from individual to individual.

My best male friend in Korea has, er, 'dated' heaven-knows-how-many girls. He just effortlessly gets them. He's quite a good-looking guy though and there's a kind of "not rocket science as to why" thing about it.

I haven't done badly either. I've been here nearly 7 months, dated a Korean girl in my first week here (she asked me out - which is very unusual in my opinion - for dinner and to teach me some survival Korean phrases). I've dated more girls in 7 months than I did back home in 5 years. Having said that, most of the girls back home I simply wasn't interested in. Even my ex was a foreigner.

Getting a date with a K-bird per se isn't wildly difficult, especially the girls that go to Hongdae/Itaewon (places in Seoul frequented by us waygooks, OP, in case you dunno that). However, gems of English culture like heavy kissing within 10 minutes of meeting on the dancefloor, sex on the first night of meeting (never mind the first date!), kissing in public, are sadly absent here. My friend dated a Korean girl (who's absolutely beautiful) 8 times and never had sex (I think he's given up). They did everything else, but not actual sex. I strongly suspect that she's a virgin. Back home, a girl as hot as her being a virgin at 23 is absolutely unthinkable - even an ugly bird being a virgin at 23 is unlikely! She was great at texting and and responding to missed calls too - she called him and suggested dates etc etc.

So, the SPIN verdict: dating is not hard. Women are the same everywhere. If you're good-looking, they'll fancy you and date you. But in Korea, getting them to sleep with you is perhaps more difficult than back home.

[mindmetoo]

Oh, a good tactic if you're looking for a relationship leading to marriage and less of a hassle from her parents: find a woman who has a brother or sister who is already married and has birthed pure blood Korean sons. The ancestral line is assured and the pressure is off your GF.

(My own GF, in discussing future marriage with me to her father got "it would be a tragedy if you married a foreigner but I could not stop you". Which I believe is fatherly code for "well, you could do worse. Okay." She does have an older sister who has produced a pure blooded Korean boy and two other sisters who can't speak a lick of English.)

[Mashimaro]

So there really are still some guys who believe it when korean girls tell them they are virgins..

it is called saving face

[SPINOZA]