Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Wishmaster]

Yes, Koreans are a funny bunch. No doubt. Here are a few classics from K-Land:

1) I was talking with an assistant at one of my long dead, long past schools, who told me, "Mr. Director is very kind. He is very kind. He just doesn't believe that white males should marry/date Asian females. But he is not a racist". Yeah...

2) Another classic gem: One Korean person told me that foreigners have "wet" earwax and Koreans have "dry" earwax. Yeah, it was bizarro world that day...

3) One genius in my class proclaimed that everything exported should say, "Daehanminguk" instead of "Korea"...of course, this thick and myopic twit failed to realize that the rest of the world wouldn't understand what the hell that means....genius.

4) And of course, as I'm sure many of you have experienced this one, one middle schooler told me that all Americans are bad and that she wanted all of them to leave Korea and then, after a few moments, I asked her what her dream would be...the answer, as I'm sure you've guessed, "to visit America".

And the illogic of Korea continues...

[mindmetoo]

I do love when my kids spin stories about Korea nuking Japan, taking over the world, and making everyone in the world learn Korean. Slaughtering millions so you don't have to spend 4 hours a night in hagwon and can eat squid and play Kart Rider and grow fat while mom serves you hand and foot. Oh well, they are children.

I can't figure out what Koreans have with ear wax. My GF is always trying to police my ears for ear wax. I've lived 39 years and never really paid much attention to my ears. I've always pretty much assumed the insides were self-cleaning.

Ear wax nationalism would probably win for "what incredibly minor minor minor thing will a Korean cut his fingers off in front of the national parliament to underscore Korea's unquestionable superiority."

My entry would be: Once I was standing on a subway platform and some guy started to engage me in broken English but oddly superior to anything my hagwon kids could engage in. Eventually he pulled out a bottle of hand lotion and pointed to the "made in Korea" label.

"Korean lotion! The best!" he said with a pride so beaming I nearly had to put on my sunglasses.

To get him to go away, I said "choke choke he yo". Which means "moist" in Korean. "Oh gooooood", he said, taking that for confirmation that Korean lotion is indeed superior and then he mercifully walked away.

[chiaa]

I am in the sauna. Of course naked as the day I was born as I should be in the sauna.

Korean teenager says: "You are very handsome"

[jaganath69]

A co-worker's GF, describing her parents attitude to foreigners, "They like foreigners, they just think they should stay in their own countries".

A (Korean) co-worker called me to tell me about my new apartment. She told me it was on the 5th floor of a building with no elevator. She asked, "Can you ascend five stories? Your weight is very big".

[the_beaver]

[SeoulFinn]

It was a really early morning couple years ago. I was taking taxi from Hongdae to Sillim and the taxi driver was so talkative after he found that I wasn't from the US and could speak some Korea. Here's a part of the discusison we had, even though in Korean, to the best of my recollection!

Me: Ajoshi, I really do like Korea but my life is in here is so hard.
Driver: Why? You don't have a girl friend?
Me: No, I have one but she's in Finland right now.
Driver: Oh, I see. If you want I can take you to meet some nice lady.
Me: I can't do that. I love my girl and we're gonna marry next year.
Driver: What has love or marriage to do with it? I'm married and visit these palces too!

Ok, here's another. A friend of mine who is almost 2 meters tall and has a wicked sense of humor had this discussion with a female grad student.

Girl: Oh, M***! You are so long and big!
My friend: Well thank you! Who told you?

(Notice: Both were fully clothed and the lecture was just about to start.)

[Qinella]

I met a girl at a Starbucks who gave me her phone number and said, "Okay, touch me!"

Was out to eat with the hagwon teachers and bus drivers, sitting at the bus driver table. One of them got everyone's attention, looked directly at me, and said, "My p enis is very small!" and made a size indication with his finger and thumb.

[cdninkorea]

A Korean girl I dated didn't know how gay men have sex... she just figured they used their hands or something. When I told her, she was horrified and disgusted. After the shock had worn off enough so that she could talk, she said "I guess they give up to be human."

I laughed about that one for weeks.

[Tiberious aka Sparkles]

[CaptainConjunction]

This is really strange, but since I came to Korea my earwax has become significantly dryer

I wonder, does this mean I'm becoming Korean? Or is it just my
K-girlfriend's obsession with cleaning my ears?

[pet lover]

Mine used to be dry, but since coming to Korea has become noticeably moist.