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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Karabeara
Joined: 05 Nov 2005
Location: The right public school beats a university/unikwon job any day!
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 Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:13 pm Post subject: Explain breakups with Koreans |
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My waygook coworker-friend has been dating a Korean girl for over a year. He broke up with her because she is in her 30s, wants marriage, and he has no interest in marriage. She is devistated, and said she cannot go on, will never be able to marry, etc., unless he helps her get over it.
In Western culture, when you break up with someone, you cut things off totally. Apparently here, it is different? She asked him to "help her get over it." What does that mean? He totally doesn't understand, I am no help.
He thinks it sounds like he should keep seeing her, but just be a friend. He doesn't want that. He (just as I would) just wants to move on and forget as soon as possible. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:27 pm Post subject: Re: Explain breakups with Koreans |
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| Karabeara wrote: |
In Western culture, when you break up with someone, you cut things off totally. Apparently here, it is different? She asked him to "help her get over it." What does that mean? He totally doesn't understand, I am no help.
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Really? I've found the opposite here.
Most Koreans I know DO NOT keep in contact with their "ex", however back home it (IMO) would be considered bad taste if you never contacted them again. If I met a girl who said all her break-ups were bad, I'd stay clear.
I think it is a personal choice really. |
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bellum99
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: don't need to know
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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Korean girls go insane. They call you at all hours of the night crying and screaming. They show up at your door without calling. They show up at your work like psychos. They follow you around...like a stalker. They talk about you to other people and twist the facts to suit what they are saying.
----Then they want to get back together.... 
----------It can be really hard to break up with a Korean girl. Watch out. |
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crazylemongirl
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:03 pm Post subject: Re: Explain breakups with Koreans |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
Really? I've found the opposite here.
Most Koreans I know DO NOT keep in contact with their "ex", however back home it (IMO) would be considered bad taste if you never contacted them again. If I met a girl who said all her break-ups were bad, I'd stay clear.
I think it is a personal choice really. |
Yes, if they are the ones breaking up you'll never hear from them again out of the blue. If you are the one doing the ditching expect psycho behavior. |
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ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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Really? I've found the opposite here.
Most Koreans I know DO NOT keep in contact with their "ex", however back home it (IMO) would be considered bad taste if you never contacted them again. If I met a girl who said all her break-ups were bad, I'd stay clear.
I think it is a personal choice really. |
I agree. I still talk to most of my old girlfriends. Most of the time here, they cut off everything completely. |
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itaewonguy
Joined: 25 Mar 2003
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 7:16 pm Post subject: Re: Explain breakups with Koreans |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
| Karabeara wrote: |
In Western culture, when you break up with someone, you cut things off totally. Apparently here, it is different? She asked him to "help her get over it." What does that mean? He totally doesn't understand, I am no help.
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Really? I've found the opposite here.
Most Koreans I know DO NOT keep in contact with their "ex", however back home it (IMO) would be considered bad taste if you never contacted them again. If I met a girl who said all her break-ups were bad, I'd stay clear.
I think it is a personal choice really. |
Yeah I agree with this too, ,this is how it works..
and regards to your friend! he sounds like right A hole!
what he just used her for some shagging and the Korean experience and knew deep down he was not going to do anything else with her but the selfish guy he is he just decided to cut her loose now while she is asking about the future as any girl would after being with a guy so long!
so he just dumps her for no reason!! what a AHOLE!!
so I guess he is going to move on to the next one now and repeat the same process! |
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JZer
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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| she is asking about the future as any girl would after being with a guy so long! |
Be careful of generaliations. Not every girl wants to get married. I know girls who date someone for a while and then move on. Some are young and just want to explore the world and move on with their next adventure.
I agree that this guy does not seem to nice but the fact is that some people just want companionship and or sex and not marriage. |
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 7:45 pm Post subject: Re: Explain breakups with Koreans |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
Really? I've found the opposite here.
Most Koreans I know DO NOT keep in contact with their "ex", however back home it (IMO) would be considered bad taste if you never contacted them again. If I met a girl who said all her break-ups were bad, I'd stay clear.
I think it is a personal choice really. |
Is it a guy thing? Most of my female friends have the attitude that after a breakup, the best you can expect is to return eachothers stuff, and to be civil when you run into eachother. "Let's be friends" is one of those empty expressions. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 11:40 pm Post subject: Re: Explain breakups with Koreans |
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| crazylemongirl wrote: |
Yes, if they are the ones breaking up you'll never hear from them again out of the blue. If you are the one doing the ditching expect psycho behavior. |
Ain't that the truth. They finish with you and tell you to get over it, its no big deal.
You finish with them, and the world has just come to an end.
J'zer said:
| Quote: |
| some people just want companionship and or sex and not marriage. |
They're called "westerners".
Some people date for marriage, not just fun. They're called "Koreans". |
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pet lover
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Location: not in Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| bellum99 wrote: |
Korean girls go insane. They call you at all hours of the night crying and screaming. They show up at your door without calling. They show up at your work like psychos. They follow you around...like a stalker. They talk about you to other people and twist the facts to suit what they are saying.
----Then they want to get back together....
----------It can be really hard to break up with a Korean girl. Watch out. |
It can be almost the same thing for a western woman breaking up with a Korean guy. But, you forgot about the drunken calls and drunken late night visits with pounding and kicking on the door, the sad love song singing at the tops of their drunk voices, the nasty letter leaving, the drunken slobbering promises to "change" or to not "change", the destruction of your personal property, etc. etc. |
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BigBlackEquus
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Location: Lotte controls Asia with bad chocolate!
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 1:00 am Post subject: |
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Koreans only date for marriage? Give me a break!
How many times have we heard about the Korean girl or guy dumping a foriegner because mommy and daddy didn't approve (something they knew they would have to face all along)?
Someone has been drinking a bit too much soju, eating too much kimchi, or is depressed about Korea getting their butts kicked in baseball by another team on this planet who actually thought of it as something worth bothering to win. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 1:09 am Post subject: |
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| BigBlackEquus wrote: |
| Koreans only date for marriage? Give me a break! |
Okay, might you give us your own unique gay black muslim Canadian perspective on this? 
In the meantime, here's the Guru's:
| pet lover wrote: |
| bellum99 wrote: |
Korean girls go insane. They call you at all hours of the night crying and screaming. They show up at your door without calling. They show up at your work like psychos. They follow you around...like a stalker. They talk about you to other people and twist the facts to suit what they are saying.
----Then they want to get back together....
----------It can be really hard to break up with a Korean girl. Watch out. |
It can be almost the same thing for a western woman breaking up with a Korean guy. But, you forgot about the drunken calls and drunken late night visits with pounding and kicking on the door, the sad love song singing at the tops of their drunk voices, the nasty letter leaving, the drunken slobbering promises to "change" or to not "change", the destruction of your personal property, etc. etc. |
Yes, but there's a huge difference you seem to be missing here. When one of us Western guys breaks off a relationship with a Korean girl and then she "goes insane", falls to pieces, becomes a psycho-stalker -- that's only natural and understandable. The poor girl, she's lost her super-handsome sex-god warrior, and all that grieving and wild carrying on is perfectly rational. However, when a Western woman breaks it off with a Korean guy and he exhibits the same freaky, scary behaviour... well, that's just his mental instability manifesting itself. He's clearly certifiable and must've been from the very start.
Now with that misapprehension cleared up, we all know most Koreans are more devoted to relationships than most Westerners are. That's all this is, really, and that's hardly news. Koreans have higher pride, deeper honour, more sincerity and innocence, and feelings of true & eternal love. Westerners are more like animals, operating without a moral compass, who'll just do it 'cuz it feels good, just do it because they think their partner looks super hot. That's my motivation, anyway.
(I allow myself one of these posts a year.  That takes care of 2006.) |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 2:23 am Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
| we all know most Koreans are more devoted to relationships than most Westerners are. That's all this is, really, and that's hardly news. Koreans have higher pride, deeper honour, more sincerity and innocence, |
I like this about koreans. And its not a bad thing, when you consider the wreckage that has resulted from the western approach. |
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noelinkorea
Joined: 09 Apr 2003
Location: Shinchon, Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 4:57 am Post subject: my experience |
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I was in a (gay) realtionship with a Korean guy for almost three years, and we broke up after he decided it was going nowhere and had met someone else. The break-up was only a little rough, becasue we kept in contact and still had issues with each other. However, following that things really got much better and we meet at least twice a week and speak daily ie. we're still pretty close (his new relationship didn't last more than two weeks). Knowing from my other friends' experiences (straight or otherwise), all have ended extremely messy...mine seems to be the only half-decent break-up. I remember my ex-boyfriend said at one point earlier after the break-up that we couldn't be friends because "that's not what Koreans do".
One friend of mine broke up with a guy after two months, only to have the Korean guy harass him for almost the entire year following! No joke - I had to put up with the guy's shyt too. All the break-ups I know of have been rather messy, the Korean ex-partner turning vicious and unstable. Many seem to say they don't want contact and hate the other, only to be the first to make contact again and cause trouble... |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 5:51 am Post subject: |
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| The only way to have an easy break-up with a Korean is to have them initiate it. |
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