Korean Job Discussion Forums

CaptainConjunction · Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul

Anyone got any tips for this.. it's such an painfully slow process.. like.. in a year, come back and ask us again.. we'll think about it..

Homer · Guest

In my case...I didn't ask for permission...we had been dating, my wife arranged a brunch with her mother. I met ehr, it went well, then we had dinner with the father a few weeks later, that went well too.

A few months later I asked her to marry me and she announced it to her parents who were super happy.

Sounds like you got a more formal deal going on.

Corporal · Joined: 25 Jan 2003

Are you both over 18? I'm assuming you mean you want their blessing rather than their permission.

Captain Corea · Joined: 28 Feb 2005 Location: Seoul

I memorized a speech in Korean asking for their blessing.

I'm guessing it went over well because we've been married for two years without them complaining.

Tiberious aka Sparkles · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: I'm one cool cat!

Chloroform and duct tape. Works every time. Well, it worked once, at least.

Sparkles*_*

CaptainConjunction · Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul

just because · Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964

My girlfriend suggested that perhaps I might ask one day and the answer went something like "no, foreigner, never" so i can understand your pain...

So to hell with the parents, they will get over it and if they don't then at least all my chuseoks and seollals are free Smile

pest2 · Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada

I had a buddy whose Kgf told her parents she was moving to USA to study when what she actually did was move across town to live with him (parents meanwhile think she's living in USA) . But that was an extreme case as they were living together before marriage. They're still together now and the parents still think she's getting her master's degree in excecise science or something at UCLA.

canuckistan · Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:42 am Post subject:

Consider yourself lucky the P's aren't so conservative that they've threatened to disown/throw their daughter out just for dating you!

I know of one such sad story of true love, secret engagement, and finally a broken secret engagement because the P's just wouldn't budge on even the IDEA of daughter dating a foreigner, let alone meeting him or *gasp* marrying him.
The only way those two will ever be together is if her P's get flattened by a bus.

Quite likely her P's check the grapevine for the scuttlebutt on you in the 'hood, so keep your nose clean.

nautilus · Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

JZer · Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Location: South Korea

Col.Brandon · Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Location: Seoul

Sometimes it'll turn out that the girl you love loves Confucius more then she loves you. I had a couple turn out that way. I hope they'll all be happy together out in the rice paddy...

Meanwhile back in the 21st century I have since met and married a lovely lady. I'm happy now, but those experiences still leave me feeling bitter.

If I ever meet Confucius I am so gonna kick his arse.

SeoulFinn · Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Location: 1h from Seoul

Okay, I understand why it could be such a big thing for Mr. Kim if his precious son and heir wanted to marry a white horse. (Sorry ladies! I mean no offense! Before bursting a vein read the whole post!!!) In a sense his son would soil the bloodline because the children of that marriage would have Mr. Kim's surname.

But if Mr. Kim's daughter wants to marry a cheese smelling big nose honkey, how come even this is a problem? No matter who Ms. Kim is going to marry, she will marry out from her family anyway. It should not be Mr. Kim's problem anymore, right? *D'oh!* (I know that in this case she will remain in her family's records.)

Could someone smarter than me explain this to me? The funny thing is that I've almost finished my studies for Master's degree in Korean studies and I just don't get this. ^^ Usually Mr. Kim will start to become more and more understandable about his daughter marrying a foreigner when his daughter approaches her 30s...

EDIT: I've been approached by a lady who found my description of women as horses insulting. This is quite understandable and I do apologize causing any bad feelings. It was not my intention to insult anyone.

Those of you who are not that familiar with Korean slang expressions I'd like to tell you where I picked it up. In Korean the slang expression �鸶Ÿ�� (raiding the white horse) refers to... well.. I think you got it. Anyway, let me ensure you that I do not refer to women (of any color or nationality) as horses... But I do refer to some of them as cats, though! Very Happy

Peace!

Col.Brandon · Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Location: Seoul

nautilus · Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

I agree with taking ones parents thoughts and advice into account when coosing your spouse. If they offered half wise and well reasoned on the matter it would be good. But rejecting a future son in law based on the fact he is of a different race/nationality is pathetic in this day and age.

looking into the history of matrimony, you will see that in most societies, since time immemorial, marrying for love and romance was never the custom. It wasn't even a consideration. A spouse was chosen on the basis of being virtuous, from a good family, and with the prospect of a secure future- and the parents always had final say. The idea was that you grew to love whomever you got landed with, not married whoever you loved. Looking at statistics, you can't say "love" marriages have been more successful or happy than arranged ones.This only changed in the west relatively recently, too.