Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mindmetoo]

Okay so imagine the two Korea's unite in the next couple years. Barring any sea change north of the border or South Korea discovering vast new riches to make reunification self financing, what will happen? We can use the German reunification model.

1) First there's hugs 'n' kisses, tears, shouts of Korea Uber Alles and thanks for the nukes! When do we get our seat on the security council? We're a nuclear power now. All kneel before Zod!

2) As teachers, we'll have to explain to our children why having nuclear weapons means Korea just can't nuke Japan.

3) Over meals at McDonald's South Koreans will thanks their North Korean brothers for keeping the true spirit of Korean culture alive, free of the corrupting American influence. And say want more honey mustard and processed cheese on your corn dog? The North Koreans will of course claim they have archaeological evidence honey mustard and corn dogs were invented in North Korea.

4) So after all that, the financial reality will start to set in. South Korea is in hock for the next two decades. East Germany was the best economy of the Soviet block but West Germany had a lot of work. Think of the toxic waste, the ancient power grid, the rusting factories... It's a nightmare. And then you have basically a whole nation you have to reeducate.

5) Young North Korean women are going to head south and marry richer South Korean men. It's going to be like heaven for South Korean men. Pure blooded, docile North Korean women happy to be slaves because you've got gas powered ondol heating and a microwave oven. Lets not even talk about the cosmetics. Any social equality and progress South Korean women have knocked into male heads is going to take a huge step back.

6) There are going to be three generations of North Korean men who can't get a date with a Korean woman. Thirty years of blue balls.

7) North Korean men looking for work in the South are going to be treated like idiots. The hugs and kisses that greeted them a week ago are going to be replaced by instant outsider status. First, North Koreans won't have a clue what South Koreans are talking about. Buga? Hompi? Imagi? Intabu? Eliabatu? Aircon? What are these words? North Koreans will seem stupid, backward, and ignorant and be treated as such. North Korean men aren't going to be happy.

8 ) The South will basically turn the North into a low cost labor pool to compete with China.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Good post - very perceptive there. I'd add...

9) The new government will divert a few funds to hire some FTs at the going rate to work in the top unis and the public schools that used to be for party members' children. I can't even begin to imagine what a Nork high school would be like.

10) America will attempt to claim the credit, with W. using 'steadfast' in every ungrammatical sentence he attempts to utter about Korea, before the average Yank discovers that Koreans don't like them either and would sooner side with China in an international dispute.

11) All foreigners living in SK will attempt to make a weekend trip to the North at the first available opportunity, as Korean officials in this newly 'freed' land forceably divert them from seeing any of the horror shows authorities are quickly trying to cover up.

[coolsage]

Mindmetoo, you're on a roll. But it won't happen anytime soon. A recent article in the Bangkok Post (funny, never saw it in the Korean papers) reported that the SK government has had to set up separate schools for NK defector kids. Apparently in the regular schools, the NK kids are mocked for their accents, their clothes, their 'differentness', and generally ostracized. I'll check the archive if you want the article. So much for reunification, at least for now. (Your 'blue balls' reference broke me up.)

[Hater Depot]

As terrrible as it is, the treatment of defectors and their kids is something I darkly chuckle to myself about whenever I hear Koreans -- or especially a gyopo -- go on about the great unity of the Korean people and how pained SK's are by the suffering of their brothers and sisters.

In my darker moments, and even some of the lighter ones, I really think to myself, b0ll0cks. You are pained by your suffering and the insult to [/i]your[/ir] pride.

[Captain Corea]

12) Distribution of property in North Korea will, for the most part, go to ex-party officials. They in turn will sell to wealthy South Koreans (and then move to Seoul).

13) Peyongyang will be the new "it" place as people flock to see it's wide roads and comedic statues. Property values will be out of reach for most North Koreans.

14) North korean men will form the core of an un-educated un-employed mass. They will do mroe than hang out in Seoul Station and will spread throughout the country like vermin (not meaning such a strong word there).

15) After a few years the general population will try to hunt down and blame the ex-party members for profiting from the sale of (N) state land. A few will jump off of a bridge but the rest will just carry on.

[peppermint]

3D workers from South Asia will be chased out, as Korean employers would "do their patriotic duty" and hire North Korean workers for those jobs instead.

[On the other hand]

[Troll_Bait]

16. The unified Korea will demand (not ask politely, but demand!) that the rest of the world help foot the bill for reunification.

Why? Because they've made the world a safer place by putting the North's nukes under a democratic umbrella, because it's the rest of the world's fault that Korea was divided up in the first place, because they invented cloning (oops ... ... ), er, because they're number one in Starcraft, because they're unique in having four seasons, etc.

So cough it up, -especially you Yankees!

[peppermint]

[edgellskiuk]

Or an alternative ,(but unlikely):

1) A Giant statue of Kim Jong-Il is erected in the middle of the city centre of Seoul. All diplomatic ties with The west are broken.

2) The Korean economy collapses due to sanctions on North Korea being extended to all Korea. All korean assets overseas are siezed.

3) South Koreans find there assets siezed by their Nork brothers.

4) All Koreans that have lived/ studied/ been on holiday abroad are put in reeducation camps to stop them spreading lies about the outside world.

5) South Korean student protestors have a large gathering in Seoul City centre to celebrate their success. Many are shot and killed for breaking strict new illegal assembly laws.

6) Strict laws on movement are enforced to stop North and South commoners from mixing.

7) Korea makes historical claims on parts of China. China refute the claims. Korea start a diplomatic war of words with China.

Korea launch a preemptive strike on Japan. The United States and EU call on the united nations to pass an emergency resolution to attack Korea. China help to get the resolution passed.

9) China invades Korea under UN mandate. Other UN forces stage a maritime invasion in the South. The two forces meet in the middle and split Korea down the middle.

10) Both halves are in ruins and spend the next 50 years rebuilding until they try unification again.


Sorry I am feeling rather cynical today.

[Don Gately]

[Don Gately]

[jaganath69]

1. In an orgy of rabid nationalism, any foreigners caught up in celebrations are beaten, harrassed and tormented

2. Korean economy crashes, IMF and WB set up loans and other financial instruments which are quickly rejected on a self-reliance basis.

3. ESL market crashes with the won. This and further attacks on foreigners means that the foreign population is reduced to embassy staff and a few specialists.

4. Massive unemployment, inflation and crime wave by decommissioned Nork troops results in further depridation for Korea.

5. World fails to give a hoot. China's star rises, Middle East festers, US continues to decline, EU fail to fill power vacuum.

[coolsage]

Damn, I just signed a new contract. Perhaps I'll keep a bag packed--just in case...

[Neil]

Outside of Korea:

- A nuclear strong, united Korea with strong anti Japanese sentiments will mean the good folks in Toyko will have to tear up their pacifist constitution, go nuclear themselves and possibly implement a draft.

- The costs of the above will mean Nissans, Asahi and PS2s become more expensive and harder to find in the west.

- As well as 20 million new brothers for the South Koreans to welcome there will be many economic migrants from Russia and China taking advantage of an easier route to Seoul.

- China and Russia are unhappy at the above.

- Washington has the problem of what to do with 30000 troops who are no longer needed in Seoul.

- Those 30000 end up in middle eastern hotspots resulting in a decline in US army recruitment.

- The NK people will go through a tough time as said but won't really care as they will know their children at last have the chance of a normal life.

- The NK leadership will end up in front of a firing squad when their people find out how good the South Koreans have it.

- Nobody will benifit from reunification apart from the North Korean people.

- As a result reunification won't happen in our lifetimes.