Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ya-ta Boy]

I think some people need a discussion of what culture shock is and is not.

The same topics get recycled here all the time. This is one of them. If you aren't interested, feel free to skip it.

From your reading and/or personal experiences, what do you think Culture Shock is? What can be done to cope with it?

In my opinion Culture Shock has nothing much to do with our reaction to the idea of eating dog. Or giving and receiving things with two hands. These kinds of things are the surface part of culture that we all expected to be different and present no problem.

In my opinion, we are all susceptible to Culture Shock at all times while we're here. We're infantilized as long as we are not pretty fluent in the language. Most of us can't order a pizza on the phone, much less seek medical attention in an emergency. Stress. Things happen at work or outside all the time and we're left mystified. Stress. The finer points of social relationships escape us. Stress. We are teachers, which means we are in a fairly high stress job--even good and pleasant positions are stressful. On top of it all we are a visible ethnic minority, probably for the first time in our lives.

In my opinion, an episode of Culture Shock happens when the little stresses of normal life + the special stresses of living in a foreign country pile up and we:

a) over-react to small annoyances
b) go on a rant about what stupid people Koreans are
c) begin to drink more than usual or engage in other less than healthy stress management strategies

What can we do about it?

a) Give up the idea that we can change 48 million people
b) Learn as much about the culture as possible because it takes some of the 'sting' out of what happens around us (we are not the special target of deliberate Korean rudeness)
c) Monitor our stress level and regularly and consciously use positive stress release strategies

I don't think anyone is immune to it totally. I know there are plenty of people who say they've never had it. My reply is that they are social deviants or just didn't recognize it when it happened...i.e. they think it's perfectly OK to bowl over little old ladies who are slow to get out of their way, no matter what country they are in.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I'm sure some of the rest of you out there have some worthwhile observations that could be useful to other expats. Share what ya' got.

[VanIslander]

[Ya-ta Boy]

VanIslander and I think very differently about this topic. And that's fine.

The other day I saw a teacher jamb his finger up a kid's butt. I was shocked, appalled, and a number of other emotions. But I don't consider that an episode of Culture Shock. And the reason I don't is because of my reaction. I am sure at another time, when I was tired or over-stressed, it would certainly have been an episode for me.

I also think we are the worst judges of our own over-reactions. I am only aware of my over-reactions after the event is long over--if I stop to think about it. At the time, my tantrums have felt perfectly logical, reasonable and justified. The grocery store was out of plain yogurt for the second week in a row--of course it is a reasonable response to shove an old lady and her cane down the subway steps.

[PRagic]

Save yourselves some time here and just to the the culture shock section of the Peace Corps trainer, 'Culture Matters.' You can do the workbook right on-line.

[indytrucks]

[TheUrbanMyth]

[SPINOZA]

[brento1138]

I decided to Wiki culture shock... here's what I got:

Quote:

Culture shock is a term used to describe the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within an entirely different cultural or social environment, such as a different country or a different state than where they live (e.g. urban southern California vs. rural North Carolina).

Haha, good example there with the states though.

[Mashimaro]

I think a lot of people are in denial about their culture shock.

They consider themselves so worldly and intelligent and admitting
to culture shock would be like admitting they are not as adaptable
and open minded as they thought.

I think I went through it my first year. I really didn't like my job
and living in a smal korean city, but I think culture shock was
a big part of the problem.

[SPINOZA]

Examples of culture shock (it's more 'culture surprise' in my case) for me:

the elevator/subway thing.

little kids saying "omma, wayguk salam" as happened in an elevator recently. That's fun though because I say "wayguk salam?" back to them and it gives them the shock of their lives. The like happening back home ("mom, foreign person") is laughable. You KNOW you're in a different culture when that happens. I know that's apples and oranges because Korea is hermit kingdom and they're not used to foreigners, but it's still ridiculous.

Having to say �� all the time. Why do I need to be polite when I say "I study Korean" or "I live in Seoul"?

Dating a girl 8 times and still not getting laid.

The whole marriage thing is a farce here. If you're not married by the time you're 30, OH NO, PANIC, MUST GET MARRIED TO *ANYONE* AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE! No wonder there are so many unhappy marriages.

Every single Korean, even educated Koreans, says "not spicy?" when dining with a foreign stranger, almost mechanical in its predictability.

[Milwaukiedave]

I don't know whether I ever really experienced culture shock and if so to what extent. This is a helpful conversation for those who maybe coming to Korea though. It might give them some ideas what to expect.

I've been here over two years now and probably the only big thing is Korean food. I have never liked seafood (even back home). Koreans tend to eat quite a bit of seafood in their diet. Sometimes I feel limited what I can eat, although I have found lots of interesting alternatives.

I feel bad that I've never put much effort into learning the language. I can speak a bit of Korean, but not much. For this, I take total responsiblity it is my own fault.

Someone mentioned overreacting to small situations, which happens with me sometimes. I can get frustrated easily, but I was the same way back home.

One of my pet peeves is how people drive. A person made the comment that you can't change 48 million people, which is a good way of looking at it.

I think we all struggle in our own unique way with living overseas. It can be stressful at times, no matter how well adjusted you are.

[bosintang]

I believe part of the problem is that we broadly use the term 'culture shock' to describe a variety of complex emotions and reactions to adapting to a foreign culture. For many people, admitting to culture shock is akin to admitting to weakness, or inability to cope with a foreign culture, and thats not necessarily the case.

Culture shock is not dealing with eccentricities of a culture (e.g. learning to eat with chopsticks, pour alcohol with two hands, eat exotic foods). These are blatant differences, and ones we expect, and naturally expect to adapt to, and are surface differences that don't question our own values.

True culture shock comes in more subtle and complex moments, when our own core values and morals are questioned. For example: In what order does one prioritise family, friends, co-workers, bosses, authority figures, and government? What purpose do each of these serve? Should one always be social and around other people or is it ok to be alone? What responsibilities does one have to themself and to their social circle around them? Is individual choice and preference acceptable, and if so, to what degree? What is more important, loyalty or honesty?

We come from very a different culture with very different values that often conflict, and friction is natural. Anyone with any social skills at all will naturally be confronted with a test of their values at some point in their sojourn.

Culture shock does not have to be lashing out at the host culture, getting angry, drinking too much, etc., although for many people that is obviously a big part of it. It could be the opposite, wholesale rejection of one's own values and culture. For most people, its somewhere in the middle with a mixture of temporary frustration and compromise.

[jajdude]

Whatever you may call it, I feel it almost every day even after a pack of years.

[eamo]

Culture shock....mmmm....

I've been here 5 years and I think I enjoy living here. Especially since I met my wonderful wife. That changed my Korean experience in a profound way.

Still.... I really and genuinely believe that some of the cultural norms here in Korea are detrimental to well-being. I believe Koreans shoot themselves in the foot a lot. The confucian thing tends to make a lot of headaches (I realise also that it preserves harmony in a way but that's a different discussion). In my core being I don't believe that age confers wisdom. Older people might be completely wrong. Yet Koreans defer to age almost everytime.

Koreans are also way too materialistic for my liking. They respect richness too much. Someone who has become rich here feels way above everyone else. I'm much more comfortable with the Western egalitarian thing. Just because you have an Equus doesn't mean you can park where you like.

I do have culture shock. I embrace it. I will always have it as long as I live in Korea. It's because I have used my own brain to rationlise what I see around me. I'm not going to accept anything that goes on here because everyone (Korean) else is doing it. I still have my principles and sorry, those principles don't concur with some Korean norms.

And before the naysayers say "why don't you leave if you don't like it here", I should say that I do like it here.

The positives outweigh the negatives..........But I am fully aware of both. And will continue to be so.