Korean Job Discussion Forums

[SPINOZA]

Two propositions run true, it would seem.

1. Marriage is really important in Korea. Women approaching their 30s are under great pressure from family and society to marry. This is obviously even more the case for women in their 30s. I know a lady, who's quite attractive, who's 34 and unmarried. I feel sorry for her because as soon as she meets someone knew, a male colleague will say "she's single" and you can tell by her face she hates it.

2. Marriage to foreigners - whilst it does occur - is not universally tolerated to say the least.

This begs the question....which is the worst scenario for parents of a given Korean woman in her 30s - nonmarriage or marriage to a foreigner?

**avoid truisms like "it depends on the parents". Sure it does. Try to generalize and vote in the poll. Say your private opinion on what you think is true of Korean society generally - doesn't have to be based on fact or the latest research.

[endofthewor1d]

i just voted, and thought 'wow, i must be on the money with this one. everyone is in total agreement.' and then i saw that mine was the only vote which had been cast.

anyway. i think for most that nonmarriage is worse. i'm speaking from personal experience here, but i don't see how my inlaws are too different from your average korean parents, and there were no relatives who kicked up a fuss about it at all.
in fact, i think the whole process went so smoothly because she was just over 30 when we started seeing one another. the clock was ticking. gots to get that girl married, even if it is to a big nose.
marriage to a foreigner brings with it the hope of children, even if they are half breeds.
actually, i think even that is a bit unfair to say. my inlaws only expressed the slightest concern when my wife and i got married. and the concern was not about mixed children, but about me sticking around for the long haul. i could understand that.

[djsmnc]

I don't think a lot of parents will care by that point.

Usually when I've met an unmarried lady in her thirties, her father has passed away and she is mother's companion. Some unmarried men seem to be like that in Korea too ...

[BigBlackEquus]

As if marriage is the end-all, be-all of existence.
Some people (male and female) don't care to marry.


As for the lady who is quite attractive and 34, and desperate to marry, I find it hard to feel sorry for those types. She probably chose that route because she had so many choices at one time. Attractive people have MANY opportunities to marry. They can even be stupid, and have a better chance than some smart ugly people, if they look hot.

Non-marriage was her choice. She waited. And now she regrets her decision as her looks start to fail, and she is no longer high on anyone's list. She might even BE high on someone's list, but maybe the people on her list just "aren't good enough" for her now. As time passes, her boobs sag more. Her face wrinkles. And she gets chunky. In a few years, to make ends meet, she'll be working between two spinning barber-shop poles, giving hand-jobs to older ajosshis she used to scoff at for having the nerve to even CONSIDER her in their league.

DAMN WESTERN WOMEN! DAMN Korean women! AGGHHHAHH!!!!!

Oh, wait, we're talking about Koreans. Oh no, I'm mixing cultures. I'm losing it! This is what happens to BBE when he gets too much sugar!

Ok, that's a little over-the-top, but you get my point.

Go ahead and pity the person, but remember... she is living with her decisions.

[Demophobe]

Any Korean parents posting here? Who else could really know?

[Demophobe]

[robot]

my k-wife is 30. i get along great with all her relatives, and her parents love me. but when she first said 3 years ago that she was seeing a westerner, her parents didn't approve. i guess it's about meeting the person, realizing that we're not all that different.

also, my wife's very attractive single sister is 34. she is hounded everyday to get a boyfriend.

ROBT.

<-----begs the question

[cwemory]

nonmarriage
quite a few of my western friends with korean wives were not allowed to marry until the woman turned thirty. At that point, what had been hostile, dissaproving parents became tolerant, loving in-laws anxiously awaiting the conception and birth of a grandson.

[IwalkAlone]

[Newbie]

I've never heard any stories of Korean parents hating the foreigner after actually meeting them.

It seems that they fall victim to media reports and assume all foreigners are lazy, unemployable hacks. Then they meet us and we're not half bad so they become comfortable with us. It seems like grandparents find the foreign in law to be quite amusing.

[Milwaukiedave]

I'd say not married at all is worse.

My Korean in-laws have been very accepting of me into their family. At work my direct supervisor (who is also a foreigner) is married to a Korean as well. From what he tells me, it seems he had a little bit tougher road to gaining acceptance of his in-laws.

All in all I am pretty lucky in terms of how they treat me.

[itaewonguy]

At the end of the day! parents just want whats best for their kids!
marrying a foreigner most parents are afraid that the child will be taken away to a foreign country! or will be difficult in the family circle here.
I think many families back home would be the same!
if MISS GREEN the whole alll american girl living in an all white neighbourhood brought home An ASIAN from BURMA and said mum dad this is KOAPANG and I love him and im gonna marry him,, dont think that would fly to well..

I know that many african americans have problems when their son or daughter wants to marry a white person.. hispanics etc too.. and this is in USA!!

so I can relate ... foreigners are foreigners!
some houses like mine are more open to foreigners..
but I can bet some of my mates dads or mums would kill their daughters or sons if they brough home someone foreign!
so its not only korea...

[Cheonmunka]

HAHAHA

If my daughter brought home Koapang I'd be giving him the third degree too.

[steroidmaximus]

I'd have to agree with Itaewon guy: generally parents want what's best for their children. They would ask questions if their kid brought home someone lacking education, prospects, or even superficial things such as poor posture or dress. Most might have reservations about marrying someone of a different cultural / ethnic / racial background, but I don't think the majority would actively try to stop the marriage.

[kermo]