Korean Job Discussion Forums

[TOGirl]

I have been at my school for a month now and was informed today that I am going to be given an invitation (but haven't gotten it yet) to a Korean teachers wedding that is this Saturday.

I was planning on going out of the city for the night with some friends and don't really want to change plans.

So I'm not sure what I should do in this situation. I am the only foreign teacher and I talked to another Korean teacher who said she "might" go but doesn't really want to. She is afraid that if she doesn't go that the teacher will be upset with her.

My relationship to the bride is very limited, she speaks no English and seems really indifferent to my being at school, always running her classes late and cutting my time short.

So I'm just wondering what other teachers would do in this situation. I don't want to make things weird at school but I also don't want to have to change my plans because of the short notice (3 days).

I have attended more than one Korean wedding so am not missing the "cultural" experience if I don't go and am fully aware that she probably won't even know if I'm there.

Any experience with this?

[bellum99]

hmmm. The only white face invited doesn't show up. She will know that you didn't go..other people she wouldn't be sure. I say go and have fun on the trip..trust me...she wouldn't come to your wedding.

[Son Deureo!]

Give some cash in a pretty envelope, and maybe another small gift to wish her well.

[crazykiwi]

I say ditch your plans, rent the most expensive white wedding dress you7 can find, stick a tiearra on your head, and go forth in style




But seriously? I would just wish her well, but say you had plans already. If you feel real bad, stick 30 bucks in an envelope, with your name on it, and give it to someone going on your behalf. For god sakes, one weekls notice? get real. I know its done like this sometimes but......whatever. They invite EVERYONE they can think of, they get m,ore money that way. My wife once got invited to the store owners daughters wedding. WTF? korean weddings in those halls suck ass anyway. Go have some fun with your mates. well better!

[TOGirl]

Hey thanks for the replies. Glad to see that others think the 3 days notice is a little short too.

When (and if) I actually receive the invitation I will immediately rush out and buy that dress and I already have the tiara so no worries there.

Guess I'll just buy an envelope and fork over some cash.

[Thomas]

Korean weddings tend to be pretty quick affairs for the guests anyways. You show up, hand over the envelop, have a bite to eat, watch the cerefmony and leave. Usually there's lots of food and drink and fun for those who want it.
In your shoes, I'd see if I could do both (are they in different cities?). Go tot he wedding and make for good relations at work, then go out with your friends. Longest wedding I was in was about 2 hours (my brother-in-law). Usually they seem to take place during the afternoon anyway!

Good luck!

[jacl]

Dear Gabby

[bobbyhanlon]

it'll be over before you know it, so you could probably have your night out anyway. just show your face and then get out of there as soon as politely possible. and stick a little money in an envelope.

[crazylemongirl]

Yeah if you are in the same city a korean wedding is like a teenager having sex for the first time. You spend all this time worrying about the event beforehand but the thing is over so quick your left wondering if you missed something afterwards.

Scratch that if it's in a different city. A co-worker of mine got married in Jinju (I live in seoul) but as she was a close co worker I made the journey down for her wedding. Left my place at 6.30am got back at 11pm total duration of the cermony: about 20 minutes and as we ate lunch beforehand I think I spent less than an hour in jinju.

[Ekuboko]

Just let her know somehow that you already have plans - tell a white lie like you're going away for the weekend or something if you want.

The woman getting married is obliged to invite her workmates, and it will be no big deal if you don't go, IMO (especially if you don't know her from a bar of soap).

[Unreal]

I just had the same thing happen this week...but 2 weeks notice. Unfortunately that's the long weekend and my sister-in-law will be visiting from China so there's no way I can go. I'm just planning to send a cash evelope with someone who's going.

[TOGirl]

Well I haven't even received a formal invitation yet, just the word of mouth of an english speaking teacher that I will be invited.

And as I said I am going out of town on Friday night so really its not a lie (even a white one).

I realize that these events are short and if I was staying in Seoul I would just go but as I was planning on being out of the city I have no intention on rushing back to say hi for 20 minutes.

Since I haven't been formally invited, have no idea where it is and at what time I have no intention of going, and really does she expect me to with one days notice, I think probably not, she's just being nice since someone said hey you should invite the new foreigner.

Thanks for the replies...I just didn't want to make things uncomfotable at work if I didn't go since I have another 11 months left.

[jacl]

I'll bet you'll be upset if you don't get an official invite even though you're not going. "Why didn't anyone say anything?"

Jokes aside, I wouldn't give her a red cent.