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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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 Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Real Reality"][
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| you should not expect to be accepted as a member of a Korean's inner circle. |
Certainly, with the attitude you have, YOU shouldn't expect to be accepted anytime soon.
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| Korea is not an egalitarian society traditionally; one is either of a higher or a lower status than other people. Foreigners do not fit neatly into any scheme. They are normally treated graciously as one would a guest, but they may never be able to break into that close, inner circle.... a foreigner will seldom be accepted as part of the inner circle; he will almost always be an outsider looking in. |
Yeah, that's a helpful hint for when an untravelled American goes to one business dinner in Seoul, not for anyone who lives here or for anyone who makes even the slightest effort. 
And the rest of your links had nothing whatsoever to do with anything. As usual. |
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ChimpumCallao
Joined: 17 May 2005
Location: your mom
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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ive only had one korean that i'd call friend (first year) but she turned out to be a catty psycho rumor spreader so that was that.
as of now i have no korean friends and i honestly don't want any. the last thing i wanna do after work is speak broken english or hear another tirade about takashima. plus, if i have a chance to either hang out with my bf or a friend, if always rather spend time with my bf. it's not koreans per se...it's just that out of all people here i have way more in common with foreigners and its a more comfortable relationship. plus im not much of a social butterfly...from what i've heard it seems that korean friendships can be diffiult to form and have different expectations. i guess i just don't have the desire to put in the time or effort. hanging out with most of them would just seem like an extension of work to me. |
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flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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Some real cutting commentary at the bottom of this article:
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9> ID : sanjoek 03/11/2003 08:57
poiboy really showed you. pretty deep stuff. you got some issues there palgaengi.
8> ID : poiboy 03/08/2003 16:40
johnholmes: It's spelled "kimchee" not kinchee..got it? Well, look at America as a whole. Do you not think people in America are NOT racist?
7> ID : johnholmes 03/07/2003 13:31
Hey if you want to talk stink you should smell yourself. How about Kinchee Naemse. It is offensive to talk bad about others. You should know if you don't have something good to say you should say nothing at all.
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Jackass naemse. |
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bobbyhanlon
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Location: 서울
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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for anyone who complains that all koreans are ignorant dokdo-whiners, you obviously haven't met enough people. yep, there is a fair amount of ignorance about the outside world here, but there are many, many exceptions to be found. i'm lucky enough to have made loads of korean friends, none of whom are of the kind people have been describing in this thread.
i'm from england.. and there are so many guys you can see there, down the pub, complaining about the french, germans or arabs, having lived in the same crappy town all their life, with no experience beyond watching the football on the telly. every country has its ignorant flag-wavers; korea's just seem to be a bit more numerous or vocal sometimes. just ignore them and find some who aren't. |
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SPINOZA
Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:06 am Post subject: |
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Excluding friends where there's a romantic interest, I've met several K friends, but I don't see them as much as I used to because they drink and smoke too much. Still friends though and I expect (and hope) that remains so. Admittedly two of those friends - whose office is in my building - view me as free English, but, like Qinella, I'm not fussed, since:
(a) they genuinely like me,
(b) I genuinely like them,
(c) I view them as free Korean practise,
(d) I get free dinner. I like free. Yes, you can buy me, and to hell with anyone who has a problem with that. |
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Son Deureo!
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:27 am Post subject: |
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| SPINOZA wrote: |
| (d) I get free dinner. I like free. Yes, you can buy me, and to hell with anyone who has a problem with that. |
That's cool that you made friends, but don't expect them to stay your friends if you always let them pick up the check. They will eventually expect you to take your turn, and why not? Fair's fair. |
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SuperHero
Joined: 10 Dec 2003
Location: Superhero Hideout
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 4:46 am Post subject: |
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| SPINOZA wrote: |
| (d) I get free dinner. I like free. Yes, you can buy me, and to hell with anyone who has a problem with that. |
Hey MOOCH - you're a real quality friend. |
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flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:24 am Post subject: |
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| bobbyhanlon wrote: |
for anyone who complains that all koreans are ignorant dokdo-whiners, you obviously haven't met enough people. yep, there is a fair amount of ignorance about the outside world here, but there are many, many exceptions to be found. i'm lucky enough to have made loads of korean friends, none of whom are of the kind people have been describing in this thread.
i'm from england.. and there are so many guys you can see there, down the pub, complaining about the french, germans or arabs, having lived in the same crappy town all their life, with no experience beyond watching the football on the telly. every country has its ignorant flag-wavers; korea's just seem to be a bit more numerous or vocal sometimes. just ignore them and find some who aren't. |
Many Korean friends in this corner.
As an illustration of the above quote from Stateside, in the heart of Jersey last summer, my brother threw me a surprise welcome home party after my trip around the world which involved studying Urdu and Hindi in India for six months. It was the crew from the old neighborhood, all the guys who used to drink underage at Louie's Clam Bar down on the corner from my house. As a quick note, I was a History and Middle Eastern Studies major in university and studied Arabic. I have since studied Korean here. I had not been home in 7 years...
My brother, in a rapidly increasing state of inebriation, kept beaming at, and raising his 40 of CoorsLite(frequently replaced), to me. When he could hold it in no longer he yelled at everyone to shut up and made an announcement:
Mark: I love my fokkin brothuh. He is the fokkin smahtest man alive. This fokkin guy. This fokkin guy. You know wot this fokkin guy can do now? He can tawk to sand-nigguhs, rice-nigguhs and...and...what the fokk are the Induhyins kawled again...?
Voice from off-stage: Dotheads, Mawk.
Mawk: ...dothead-nigguhs too! I love you, bro!
Ah, Mark, I love you too. You absurd, absurd b*stard. |
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jaderedux
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:26 am Post subject: |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Real Reality wrote: |
[[/b]. How do foreigners fit into this scheme? The simple answer is they don't.... you should not expect to be accepted as a member of a Korean's inner circle.
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This is one of the more foolish things you have said. So foreigners who are married to Koreans are not part of the "inner circle". There is some mysterious "inner circle" that only Koreans can be part of?
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Well actually that is a bit true. While I am part of the family I am not really PART of the family. Everyone is polite and very kind and generous but I am not part of any family discussions. The family meeting that is held once every 2 months or so does not include me.
At holidays try as I might I am still really only a guest. That is not to say they are mean or rude but I am and always will be an outsider. This may not be the case in every family but in the one I married into it is.
I accept it. They accept me and I respect their traditions as far as I can. They don't push and neither do I.
Jade |
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Homer
Guest
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:50 am Post subject: |
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Well I find that sometimes I am too included! 
I am part of those family meetings when they have them....oh well... |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Most of the guys I meet are too uptight, and most of the girls I meet are too shy. That being said, I do have a small crew of Korean friends that know how to unwind and we always have an excellent time together. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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| xingyiman wrote: |
| I am suspicious of anything that comes from the official US goverenment. The US government is one of the biggest disseminators of propaganda that exists especially with regard to expats living in a society. For example the State Department issues warnings against working as an English teacher in Korea. It's on their website. But, as I have said before I have never met any other teacher here who had anything more than a compliant regarding a matter that could not be resolved with a little negotiation. And when you take into consideration the number of expats living and working in Korea and the number of actual complaints, there are a far greater ratio of valid complaints by Americans living and working in America. What do the warnings really mean? Well it could be to disuade Americans from coming to Korea and exempting themselves form paying our good ol taxes back in the States on a years worth of employment. |
I knew a girl that worked at a Kid's Herald school (Yeonsu-dong, Incheon, 2001). She had a 2 year old back home. Her contract was terminated for no reason; she was owed over a month's pay that was withheld to "compensate for the recruiter's fee and airfare", etc., etc. Trust me, she tried to negotiate. The embassy can't help you if you get into a situation like this. The state dept. is trying to protect American citizens by warning them. Anyway, some people might think it's "propaganda". I prefer to think of it as useful info., and a warning to be careful. Actually, I think it's the state dept.'s way of saying don't come crying to me- you should've read the website, and now you're on your own.  |
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