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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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 Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 2:10 am Post subject: |
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I'll confess to being a laugher, once in a rare while.
As for an acceptable batting average, you guys are using a very bad metaphor here. Batting .300 is considered pretty good in MLB, right? Would most men be happy if they came 1 time in 3 sessions? 
In all honesty, I don't think most women think in those terms. For lots of women, orgasms are a rare and pleasant surprise, so they probably put more emphasis on other facets of the relationship. For others, it means that a teaching session or two is in order. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 2:21 am Post subject: |
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Great find, Xerxes. Thanks, you helped me. I tried googling it myself a couple weeks ago, but I guess I wasn't feeding it right and it gave me heaps of useless (but fairly humourous) results. Stuff about tickling (not what I'm talking about) and about laughing at something funny (also not what I'm talking about).
As rare as (I still think) it is, and as bewildering & confidence-shaking as it can be for a guy the first few times, it is also... kind of wonderous and wonderful to hear. (Once you know you aren't being laughed at.  )
So I've finally conquered my fear of the laughter. Now, what should I make of all the pointing & giggling I get?  |
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Xerxes
Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 3:59 am Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
Great find, Xerxes. Thanks, you helped me. I tried googling it myself a couple weeks ago, but I guess I wasn't feeding it right and it gave me heaps of useless (but fairly humourous) results. Stuff about tickling (not what I'm talking about) and about laughing at something funny (also not what I'm talking about).
As rare as (I still think) it is, and as bewildering & confidence-shaking as it can be for a guy the first few times, it is also... kind of wonderous and wonderful to hear. (Once you know you aren't being laughed at. )
So I've finally conquered my fear of the laughter. Now, what should I make of all the pointing & giggling I get? |
(Shh, we're trying to get the women/girls to reply. We have to play hard to get--I wonder if p-whipping works for men to women  ??? Sooo, many questions. I tried to my wife and it sorta works, but it takes a heck of a lot of energy  ! Ole Pavlov had it easy with just a bell to ring, I'll tell ya!  ) |
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Lizara
Joined: 14 Apr 2004
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:20 am Post subject: |
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| Xerxes wrote: |
The irony of you, a chick, asking me, a dude, what the batting average to at bats for chicks has irony written all over it.
I will look it up for you (but will make yous gals all wait as long as we dudes all have, unless I can get one of yous chicks to agree to some minimum terms of chick-post answers to dude-post questions!) |
I thought you said you'd found the answer, was all. I was curious. You don't have to bother looking it up if you haven't already. Mine isn't anything close to a batting average as it's well over 1.000... I'm just wondering about women in general... |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:29 am Post subject: |
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| Lizara wrote: |
| mindmetoo wrote: |
Here's the scenario:
Husband just donated his mother in law a kidney. A day out of the hospital, his wife sends him out to the grocery store. He buys everything on her list except for a can of peas. Suddenly he's the worst ass on the planet and why doesn't he ever listen?
What's up with that? Why don't men earn relationship credits when they do good things and can spend them when they make small mistakes? |
Date/marry better girls. It's ridiculous for her to get angry in a situation like that. |
Ho ho ho! No it's not! No no no no. She never ever gets mad for ridiculous reasons. Never. Ever. |
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Trespasser
Joined: 25 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 11:08 am Post subject: |
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| mindmetoo wrote: |
Here's the scenario:
Husband just donated his mother in law a kidney. A day out of the hospital, his wife sends him out to the grocery store. He buys everything on her list except for a can of peas. Suddenly he's the worst ass on the planet and why doesn't he ever listen?
What's up with that? Why don't men earn relationship credits when they do good things and can spend them when they make small mistakes? |
Mind me too,
Perhaps something else is going on in the relationship. The flippin' peas might be her way of venting about something totally unrelated. The majority of the women I know will not call their boyfriend/ husband/ whoever on what they consider to be offensive/ abnormal behavior. They, instead, wait and simmer. So, "Why don't you want to go to dinner at my parents" becomes code for "You sorry p.o.s., why are all of these chicks I don't know calling" and "Like, hickle, Oh My God...you did not get my dry cleaning" becomes code for "You are working so much that I haven't gotten any in four days". etc.
Honestly, I wouldn't get angry with my husband about something as trivial as a can of peas. Can the stupid peas really be the problem? Think about it. If it is that important I can get my own a** out the door and get it...and thank him for getting the other stuff so I don't have to.
I agree with you totally about the credits. My husband often surprises me with my favorite coffee and breakfast in the morning, brings me flowers, tells me to decide what I want for dinner and goes and picks it up, etc. I think a woman would have to be a complete b*tch to not take these things into consideration. |
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Xerxes
Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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I will be satisfied that enough female posters posted (Lizara, Trespasser, and the girl av in mm2, though not a chick per se), and therefore, the "batting average," as it were, as promised. (Though I would still like to hear from more women posting. My wife doesn't answer these questions, I guess trying to be coy even after all these years, although we do talk about quite a bit of other related "stuff." And, no, I am not trying to pickup other matrons or maids.)
| C. Michael Smith in Learning Points: Orgasms wrote: |
" Percentage of people who orgasm every time they have sex:
Men: 75
Women: 29
" Intercourse isn't the primary way to achieve orgasm for most women. Only around 30% can orgasm this way. Most women need additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
" When it comes to having orgasms:
42% of women usually have orgasms during sex with their partner.
29% always have an orgasm during sex.
25% sometimes or rarely have orgasms.
4% of women in America are not orgasmic with their partner. |
The article in its entirety can be found here.
Now, what about the other question of penis whipped, or the other p-whipped? Is it possible for women to be so? I would imagine the woman in question would have to be at her sexual peak, which would mean an older woman from 35-45, for this to work, theoretically. In practice? (Would a woman do what the man says for the nookie cookie to come if done?) |
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Trespasser
Joined: 25 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Xerxes wrote: |
I will be satisfied that enough female posters posted (Lizara, Trespasser, and the girl av in mm2, though not a chick per se), and therefore, the "batting average," as it were, as promised. (Though I would still like to hear from more women posting. My wife doesn't answer these questions, I guess trying to be coy even after all these years, although we do talk about quite a bit of other related "stuff." And, no, I am not trying to pickup other matrons or maids.)
| C. Michael Smith in Learning Points: Orgasms wrote: |
" Percentage of people who orgasm every time they have sex:
Men: 75
Women: 29
" Intercourse isn't the primary way to achieve orgasm for most women. Only around 30% can orgasm this way. Most women need additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
" When it comes to having orgasms:
42% of women usually have orgasms during sex with their partner.
29% always have an orgasm during sex.
25% sometimes or rarely have orgasms.
4% of women in America are not orgasmic with their partner. |
The article in its entirety can be found here.
Now, what about the other question of penis whipped, or the other p-whipped? Is it possible for women to be so? I would imagine the woman in question would have to be at her sexual peak, which would mean an older woman from 35-45, for this to work, theoretically. In practice? (Would a woman do what the man says for the nookie cookie to come if done?) |
There is more to the orgasm situation. Traditionally women have been socialized to be "proper" and to please their men. Women who enjoy sex are somehow considered lacking in the morality department and men who enjoy sex are virile and "manly". Also, too many women think about what their a** looks like instead of doing whatever it is that works for them. Sure, biology plays its role but I believe it is more psychological for the majority of women.
More women need to say, "Hey, listen up. This is what I want."
If your significant other is not ready to do that go get her "Screw The Roses, Bring Me The Thorns", "The Marquis de Sade", and "The Kama Sutra". See if any of that motivates her to talk.
I admit that I would lose in a contest of who can hold out longer for sex...and I am still in my twenties. |
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Xerxes
Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Trespasser wrote: |
| Xerxes wrote: |
I will be satisfied that enough female posters posted (Lizara, Trespasser, and the girl av in mm2, though not a chick per se), and therefore, the "batting average," as it were, as promised. (Though I would still like to hear from more women posting. My wife doesn't answer these questions, I guess trying to be coy even after all these years, although we do talk about quite a bit of other related "stuff." And, no, I am not trying to pickup other matrons or maids.)
| C. Michael Smith in Learning Points: Orgasms wrote: |
" Percentage of people who orgasm every time they have sex:
Men: 75
Women: 29
" Intercourse isn't the primary way to achieve orgasm for most women. Only around 30% can orgasm this way. Most women need additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
" When it comes to having orgasms:
42% of women usually have orgasms during sex with their partner.
29% always have an orgasm during sex.
25% sometimes or rarely have orgasms.
4% of women in America are not orgasmic with their partner. |
The article in its entirety can be found here.
Now, what about the other question of penis whipped, or the other p-whipped? Is it possible for women to be so? I would imagine the woman in question would have to be at her sexual peak, which would mean an older woman from 35-45, for this to work, theoretically. In practice? (Would a woman do what the man says for the nookie cookie to come if done?) |
There is more to the orgasm situation. Traditionally women have been socialized to be "proper" and to please their men. Women who enjoy sex are somehow considered lacking in the morality department and men who enjoy sex are virile and "manly". Also, too many women think about what their a** looks like instead of doing whatever it is that works for them. Sure, biology plays its role but I believe it is more psychological for the majority of women.
More women need to say, "Hey, listen up. This is what I want."
If your significant other is not ready to do that go get her "Screw The Roses, Bring Me The Thorns", "The Marquis de Sade", and "The Kama Sutra". See if any of that motivates her to talk.
I admit that I would lose in a contest of who can hold out longer for sex...and I am still in my twenties. |
Wow, thanks and that was really informative.
(I am definitely not going to be able to make that Dave's meet with all the risque things I have posted on this site now. ) |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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I'm 27 years old at the moment, and though I much prefer the company of more mature and erudite males, I notice that the years do make a difference about how I feel in the bedroom. At 21, I don't think I was this frisky, but I'm fairly sure the men were a little more up for it back then, frequency-wise.
It's a cruel situation, and one that promises to get worse unless I keep playing "the older woman." The compromise there is often a trade between zeal and expertise. At the end of the day, however, I'd rather be with someone I really get along with and respect, and try to value quality over quantity. |
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devaloch
Joined: 03 May 2006
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I have a problem and I just need some advice on it. Hopefuly you women out there can help me out. I am currently living in south korea. I came here with my current gf of almost 2 years. Now the problem is that one day I saw my ex on the subway and we went out to grab a bite to eat. All the feelings I had for her before came swarming back to me. I guess I should tell u that I met my ex back in my home country, and she moved back home after we spent 2 months together. We tried to have a long distance relationship but it didn't work out. When I saw her for the first time in almost 3 years I can honestly say it was the happiest time I have been in 3 years. But here is the problem. I decided that I had to try and be with her and to break up with the current gf. If I did not I might always be wondering "what if" for the rest of my life. When I told the current gf she got really upset and even tried to kill herself. She says that if I leave her she will do it again. What do I do???? If I don't break up with her I will always be haunted by the ex in my dreams. If I do break up and she does it, I will always be haunted by the current gf's face in my dreams. How can someone cope with the fact that somebody killed themselves over you. I just need some advise. Since this happened I have been completely stressed and misserable. Thanks for listening to a love struck fool. LOL |
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flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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| devaloch wrote: |
| I have a problem and I just need some advice on it. Hopefuly you women out there can help me out. I am currently living in south korea. I came here with my current gf of almost 2 years. Now the problem is that one day I saw my ex on the subway and we went out to grab a bite to eat. All the feelings I had for her before came swarming back to me. I guess I should tell u that I met my ex back in my home country, and she moved back home after we spent 2 months together. We tried to have a long distance relationship but it didn't work out. When I saw her for the first time in almost 3 years I can honestly say it was the happiest time I have been in 3 years. But here is the problem. I decided that I had to try and be with her and to break up with the current gf. If I did not I might always be wondering "what if" for the rest of my life. When I told the current gf she got really upset and even tried to kill herself. She says that if I leave her she will do it again. What do I do???? If I don't break up with her I will always be haunted by the ex in my dreams. If I do break up and she does it, I will always be haunted by the current gf's face in my dreams. How can someone cope with the fact that somebody killed themselves over you. I just need some advise. Since this happened I have been completely stressed and misserable. Thanks for listening to a love struck fool. LOL |
Joined May 3rd, eh? |
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Trespasser
Joined: 25 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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| devaloch wrote: |
| I have a problem and I just need some advice on it. Hopefuly you women out there can help me out. I am currently living in south korea. I came here with my current gf of almost 2 years. Now the problem is that one day I saw my ex on the subway and we went out to grab a bite to eat. All the feelings I had for her before came swarming back to me. I guess I should tell u that I met my ex back in my home country, and she moved back home after we spent 2 months together. We tried to have a long distance relationship but it didn't work out. When I saw her for the first time in almost 3 years I can honestly say it was the happiest time I have been in 3 years. But here is the problem. I decided that I had to try and be with her and to break up with the current gf. If I did not I might always be wondering "what if" for the rest of my life. When I told the current gf she got really upset and even tried to kill herself. She says that if I leave her she will do it again. What do I do???? If I don't break up with her I will always be haunted by the ex in my dreams. If I do break up and she does it, I will always be haunted by the current gf's face in my dreams. How can someone cope with the fact that somebody killed themselves over you. I just need some advise. Since this happened I have been completely stressed and misserable. Thanks for listening to a love struck fool. LOL |
Devaloch,
First a word of warning: I am not the most emotional/sensitive female. Okay, on with it now. There is a line in a movie that goes something along the lines of "Relatioships are like taxes. File them away for three years and then forget them." I think that this makes sense. Are you the same person now?
You were with your ex for two months, right? Did you two get past the EVERYTHING is fabulous stage. Did you see the annoying habits that tend to surface later? When you saw her, did you remember your idealized version of her that you created or who she really is? I am not saying that she isn't a great girl. What I am saying is that people tend to remember what they want to remember.
Now on to your current girlfriend. Women attempt suicide more often than men and men commit suicide more often than women. If she really wanted to kill herself she would have. I feel for the girl, really I do. However, having some girl threatened to kill herself if you leave calls off all bets. It is a control tactic.
Devaloch, it is your life so you need to do what you feel is best for you. The power struggle with the current girlfriend has to go though if you stay with her. I hope that you are happy whatever you decide to do. You don't need some woman to make you happy though. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 12:28 am Post subject: |
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Flotsam, I'd pick J.K. Rowling any day. That's just me, though. As for the great writers, I think it's because women didn't really write back in the day. Rarely did they receive the same amount of education that a man received (especially a univ. education). I wonder if that's why some women, even in the 20th century, took pseudonyms (especially a man's name). I know several writers didn't have families- they stayed single (I think the Bronte sisters were never married. Don't remember about Virginai Woolf. I think some poets, like Emily D i c k inson, stayed single, as well).
As for women writers, if you like true crime, check out Ann Rule- I can't put her books down. As for contemporary writers, I like Anita Shreve (The Pilot's Wife). Oh- gotta run! ~ |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 1:13 am Post subject: |
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| devaloch wrote: |
| I have a problem and I just need some advice on it. Hopefuly you women out there can help me out. I am currently living in south korea. I came here with my current gf of almost 2 years. Now the problem is that one day I saw my ex on the subway and we went out to grab a bite to eat. All the feelings I had for her before came swarming back to me. I guess I should tell u that I met my ex back in my home country, and she moved back home after we spent 2 months together. We tried to have a long distance relationship but it didn't work out. When I saw her for the first time in almost 3 years I can honestly say it was the happiest time I have been in 3 years. But here is the problem. I decided that I had to try and be with her and to break up with the current gf. If I did not I might always be wondering "what if" for the rest of my life. When I told the current gf she got really upset and even tried to kill herself. She says that if I leave her she will do it again. What do I do???? If I don't break up with her I will always be haunted by the ex in my dreams. If I do break up and she does it, I will always be haunted by the current gf's face in my dreams. How can someone cope with the fact that somebody killed themselves over you. I just need some advise. Since this happened I have been completely stressed and misserable. Thanks for listening to a love struck fool. LOL |
I'm a woman-type person, and I lost all respect for your current girlfriend when she said she would try to kill herself. You shouldn't stay with her out of pity or guilt. Fortunately, chances are very slim that she will actually go through with it successfully. This is how you get out of the situation:
Meet your girlfriend at her parent's place (I assume that's where she lives.) Tell her you're breaking up, and tell the parents about the threats. They can call the hospital and have her put under suicide watch, if necessary.
As for the girl from your past, why not give it a shot? Your chances aren't 100%, but what is? HOWEVER, think ahead to what will happen in a year or so. Are you planning on settling in Korea? Do you think she would be happy to settle in your home-country? You might want to give this a miss if you see history repeating itself when you go back home. |
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