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The "Ask a female" thread
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Down-Under



Joined: 24 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This perhaps should be a whole new thread... but in light of the above...
Someone do explain why distance relationships do not work?
Granted that you are in love etc. and would like to see/be with the person on a daily basis... but hey, if you are committed to each other what difference does the distance make? Is this not where the compromise/ "I care about you, and understand" kicks in? Does this not happen especially when you want to settle down, and goals and dreams don't exactly match? Where one of the partners must make a sacrifice to help the other one along?
Does all this change with age? Younger/older posters wanna share?
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Trespasser



Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Down-Under wrote:
This perhaps should be a whole new thread... but in light of the above...
Someone do explain why distance relationships do not work?
Granted that you are in love etc. and would like to see/be with the person on a daily basis... but hey, if you are committed to each other what difference does the distance make? Is this not where the compromise/ "I care about you, and understand" kicks in? Does this not happen especially when you want to settle down, and goals and dreams don't exactly match? Where one of the partners must make a sacrifice to help the other one along?
Does all this change with age? Younger/older posters wanna share?


My husband and I had a distance relationship for 18 months, AFTER being married for only a year. He stayed with his employer so I could go to school. We only saw each other on two vacations. We were 21 when he was intially transfered. The experience re-affirmed that we belong together. Sure it was not easy and I drank quite often. I think it comes down to how much both people want the relationship to work. We have been happily married for eight years (in two weeks).
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trespasser wrote:
My husband and I had a distance relationship for 18 months, AFTER being married for only a year. He stayed with his employer so I could go to school. We only saw each other on two vacations. We were 21 when he was intially transfered.

And there was no hanky-panky during that whole time?
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flotsam



Joined: 28 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

periwinkle wrote:
Flotsam, I'd pick J.K. Rowling any day. That's just me, though. As for the great writers, I think it's because women didn't really write back in the day. Rarely did they receive the same amount of education that a man received (especially a univ. education). I wonder if that's why some women, even in the 20th century, took pseudonyms (especially a man's name). I know several writers didn't have families- they stayed single (I think the Bronte sisters were never married. Don't remember about Virginai Woolf. I think some poets, like Emily D i c k inson, stayed single, as well).

As for women writers, if you like true crime, check out Ann Rule- I can't put her books down. As for contemporary writers, I like Anita Shreve (The Pilot's Wife). Oh- gotta run! ~


Ha-ha. I never expected an answer to that among all the orgasmagic.

And, yes, Emily Richardinson was single her whole life--bit of a hermit. I didn't mention her because I put poetry in another space in my head, but she really is one of the great voices of American English.

So anyway, what do you think a good batting average is for women writers who appeal to men? And is it necessary for them to appeal to men, or can they through personal methods please themselves? Wink
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Trespasser



Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JongnoGuru wrote:
Trespasser wrote:
My husband and I had a distance relationship for 18 months, AFTER being married for only a year. He stayed with his employer so I could go to school. We only saw each other on two vacations. We were 21 when he was intially transfered.

And there was no hanky-panky during that whole time?


Ummm...does phone hanky-panky count? If not, the answer is no. I am all for sex, but no piece of a** is worth jeopardizing what we have.
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trespasser wrote:
JongnoGuru wrote:
Trespasser wrote:
My husband and I had a distance relationship for 18 months, AFTER being married for only a year. He stayed with his employer so I could go to school. We only saw each other on two vacations. We were 21 when he was intially transfered.

And there was no hanky-panky during that whole time?


Ummm...does phone hanky-panky count?

Only if you're doing it right. Smile
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Trespasser



Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 8:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Periwinkle,
I totally agree with you about Ann Rule. She is a great writer. Her true crime books are more warped than any fiction. You can't make that stuff up.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 3:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jongno, I just realized that your Satanic photojournalist baby riding a giant fish is also wearing a wrist-watch.

P.S. Write something for The Yangpa. I think you've got one in you.

/topic hijack
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to interupt the discussions on relationships.

This is slightly embarrassing, but here we go.

For the last, I think, 4 years, I've had a medical problem (it comes and goes) that is far more associated with women....thrush.

It occurs on the tops of my legs/thighs and often on my nads too, near my butthole.

It comes and goes. It comes when it gets hot. Men, like women, get very hot and sticky down there. On some occasions in the past, it got so painful that walking was torture. I remember, before I diagnosed it as thrush, I was working as a waiter in summer 2002. I'm not exaggerating....it was desperately painful.

I started using Caneston. The Canestan (sp?) was so effective I deduced the problem just had to be a fungal/thrush-like thing. Thank goodness, Cannestan is available from all good 약국s.

I've also had fungal infections on my tongue.

Why me?
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Satori



Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SPINOZA wrote:

For the last, I think, 4 years, I've had a medical problem (it comes and goes) that is far more associated with women....thrush.



I've also had fungal infections on my tongue.

Why me?

You've had one too many skanks in your time?
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol.

It'd be cool if that was the reason, but sadly I suspect it isn't. I first got it before I'd ever, er, you know...done that.

Not had it for a while as far as I'm aware, but this bit of heat is making my legs feel dodgy. Must get the magic canneston. If I've got cannestan, everything is wonderful. If I've not, I honestly cannot live normally. It's crazy! Shocked But in winter I'm fine.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SPINOZA wrote:
lol.

It'd be cool if that was the reason, but sadly I suspect it isn't. I first got it before I'd ever, er, you know...done that.

Not had it for a while as far as I'm aware, but this bit of heat is making my legs feel dodgy. Must get the magic canneston. If I've got cannestan, everything is wonderful. If I've not, I honestly cannot live normally. It's crazy! Shocked But in winter I'm fine.


Reoccuring yeast-type infections can be indicative of a systemic problem. That is, you've probably got loads of yeast living in your body at all times and it just flares up under certain circumstances. Things like beer and sugar and simple carbs are what promote this kind of thing, and there are some fasts you can do to starve the yeast-monster.

My guess is that it's Candidiasis, and there are some natural treatments available as well as anti-fungal interventions.
Good luck!
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/candidiasis_yeast_infection/article_em.htm
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Xerxes



Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

laughter, batting averages, and thrush, oh my! Laughing Laughing Laughing

edit: (I mean this all is good fun in its strangely dynamic topical readjustments)
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kermo wrote:
Jongno, I just realized that your Satanic photojournalist baby riding a giant fish is also wearing a wrist-watch.

P.S. Write something for The Yangpa. I think you've got one in you.

/topic hijack

[topic hijack] Yes, I also hadn't noticed the watch until later. There is just too much else going on there (the slashing water, the fish, the colours, the prosperity & happiness symbols) that one doesn't immediately notice the smaller, more humdrum elements like the wristwatch or even the camera, despite their being nearly dead-centre of the poster. That is, humdrum to Westerner observers. We're naturally going to be distracted and amused by the novelty and the oddities -- Wow! That baby's riding a giant fish! Look at those demonic eyes! Hey, what kind of fish are those? But all of this must seem humdrum and old-hat to the intended Chinese audience whose eyes were riveted, by design, on the symbols of modernity, sophistication and above all, wealth: the camera, the wristwatch and the pearls that stud the eyes of that monstrous "double happiness" goldfish.

It's a New Year print, a traditional genre of painting that pre-dated and was co-opted by the Chinese Communist Party for political propaganda. I used to think these chubby baby posters were made for children, for babies, perhaps to be hung above their bed. But of course they're not. The chubby baby itself is the symbol, or one of the New Year symbols in China, not unlike we in the West will portray, or in earlier times often portrayed, each New Year as a baby who took over the job from the Old Man of the previous year. Anyway, it's a traditional artform the Chinese communists didn't like (feudal, superstitious, Confucian) but couldn't do much about as it was so ingrained and popular, these New Year pictures.

There aren't any blatant or even symbolic references to the Party in New Year pictures that I've seen. No Mao as "the Red Sun", no Little Red Books, no calls to crush Rightist Deviationists, etc. Still, many do convey some general ideological standpoint of the day, this one probably being "It's now hip to be rich", as I think it must have been produced well past Deng's rehabilitation in the Party. [/topic hijack]
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kermo wrote:
SPINOZA wrote:
lol.

It'd be cool if that was the reason, but sadly I suspect it isn't. I first got it before I'd ever, er, you know...done that.

Not had it for a while as far as I'm aware, but this bit of heat is making my legs feel dodgy. Must get the magic canneston. If I've got cannestan, everything is wonderful. If I've not, I honestly cannot live normally. It's crazy! Shocked But in winter I'm fine.


Reoccuring yeast-type infections can be indicative of a systemic problem. That is, you've probably got loads of yeast living in your body at all times and it just flares up under certain circumstances. Things like beer and sugar and simple carbs are what promote this kind of thing, and there are some fasts you can do to starve the yeast-monster.

My guess is that it's Candidiasis, and there are some natural treatments available as well as anti-fungal interventions.
Good luck!
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/candidiasis_yeast_infection/article_em.htm


Thanks Kermo. I'm not a huge drinker these days, but I do love my carbs. Always loved pasta, rice, potatoes, bread although always considered my diet fairly balanced because of fruit, meats, fish and veggies. This is my only health problem. I'm never ill.
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