Korean Job Discussion Forums

[rapier]

There seem to be recurring types of kids and student throughout my hogwon evperience- don't you find the same?- such as:-
1)CHAIR DODGER: this kid will do everything imaginable to a chair except sit on it. He'll rock on it, drape and contort himself all over it, hold it in front of him- but it requires superglue to make himsit in it longer than 20 seconds. Solution: make him stand an entire lesson. By the end he'll be dying for a seat.
2)FOGHORN: his voice is naturally toned several decibels higher than everyone else. Even saying hello is deafening. Solution: Don't pay him attention until he learns to speak more quietly.
3) SULKER: he refuses to play or join in unless its on his terms. Scoring a point for the other team sends him into a fit of rage he takes days to emerge from. Solution: Lighten him up by wrestling or tickling him.
4)FATBOY: He is teased and self conscious about his weight. Usually all this hate and resentment gets directed at teacher- by way of rebelling, he can win classmates respect. Solution:If he gets too disruptive, exile him to the corner.
MOre later...

[ulsanchris]

The Soft speaker- (usually a girl) doesn't have much conifidence and
doesn't speak above a whisper. Leaves the teacher
unsure whether she gave the right answer or not.

The know it all - (usually a boy) Thinks he knows everything so doesn't
pay attention and distracts all the other students. Then
ends up getting poor marks on tests due to scr*wing
around.

[captain kirk]

'the dirty word delivery boy'. this one kid was saying, 'sex, sex'. and proceeded to say this while in an embrace with the guy next to him. so these two guys, about 11, were poking fun at what all us adults make such a fuss about. fanning the flames with no tinder, kind of hilarious.
______
'the video game addict'. his father is concerned about him, he's a computer game addict, off in his own world. he appears periodically, maybe when his father remembers he exists. he himself perhaps isn't even sure, being an extension of pixels. he doesn't talk, and would rather be slaying.
______
'the attention defecit fun pirates'. they're at a textbook level kids just out of kindergarten are actively digging. except they're 12. one makes tiger noises when i ask him to read a line, growls. he has buggy eyes and always wears a taekwondo suit. 'a.d.d's just want to have fuh-uhn, oh-oh-OH, a.d.d's just want to have fuh-uhhhn....'. good hearted and generally a riot, if it's in the spirit they're into (carpe diem).
_____
the 'wee-bulls'. as in 'we bulls wobble but we don't fall down'. these are my favourites. one actually got out of his chair and came up to where i was standing by the board and put his spread jaws into my forearm. the other kids 'don't like him' because he punches them alot, but he's boisterous and out for impact.
______
'the conscientious objectors'. they are in the wrong class, which is any class. if they're young they cry when mom doesn't pick them up on time, which hurts the ears. if they're older they go, 'ding dong ding dong' like big ben, indicating class is within five minutes of enough is enough, and goodbye teacher. sharp shoulders developed from 'push up postition'. eventually come around to be aces.
______
'sons and daughters of confucious'. have an aversion to sensationalism and hysteria, loud noises. actually predict the ball, let alone follow it. serene ponds with lots of movement under dem still waters. great readers with excellent pronounciation and an aversion to slapstick.
_______
'the master students'. sons or daughters of doctors or lawyers, they want to be pianists or the like and are already demonstrably adept at what they want to make a living at, even though they're 13. frustrated with hagwons, they're mom ought to send them to a boarding school in switzerland for some quality attention. meanwhile, they slouch and mumble with laconic yet perfect accuracy the standard and perfect response. unnerving, since the boss wants to retain good students and cares less about the slackers.
_______
'rays of sunshine'. beaming, cheerful, usually girls. they up the vibe of the room with their positive, glowing presence. respectful and appreciative. TERRIFIC! vulnerable to the following...
_______
'all star wrestlers'. when teacher isn't looking they poke or jab some hapless victim, who goes comotose with weeping. right on target, they smirk. sharp shoulders form holding push-up position.
_______
the 'simpering fat boys'. favoured prey of 'all star wrestlers'. regularly shattered by the cruel world, who are just emissaries of mindless chaos (nothing personal).

[kimcheeking]

These are all good reasons why I will never teach children again.

[The Lemon]

[kimcheeking]

Kids are evil

[ulsanchris]

Serious student- (warning - this student is very rare) This student takes learning very seriously and deeply resents that other students goof-off all the time. She very rarely smiles, or laugh no matter how funny the teacher is. Is very dispointed when gets anything less than perfect on assignments and tests.

[Trinny]

[Zyzyfer]

[rapier]

SERIOUS STUDENT: I love this one. Usually she's a girl. I had a class of 4 once, and 2 of them were serious. It was enough to isolate the goofers and make them look stupid. Goofers lost out!!! However if the goofers, as is usual, outnumber the serious students, you still have a fighting chance of converting enough goofers to make it 50/50 at least. And then, come down hard on the goofers...

[kimcheeking]

[djsmnc]

How about the adult students:

The Inquisitor: Often an accomplished male English speaker who wants to measure the abilities of his teacher. Will ask any and every question about the most often looked over nuances of grammar, despite the fact that he already knows it. Will disrupt the class conversational reading to spend the rest of the time discussing the differences between Past Continuous and Past Perfect (a few students refused to come back until he left)

The Laughtrack: A elder giggling ajumma who will find the humor in anything and everything. Laughs hysterically to the point of near hyperventilation before anyone can even figure out what she is laughing at. The humor often begins with a fact about Korea that is different from Western culture (and is mentioned EVERY class), for example "In America, people use a fork. In Korea, we use chopsticks. Hahahahaa!!"

The Dazed and Confused: Ajumma who repeatedly takes the same level English class ONLY during the day. Heard from a friend that English is cool and will lead to success in life. Has nothing to do aside from cleaning house, so she enrolls in the easy level class. Over and Over again. Speaks infrequently in mumbles, often can't read a word, but has been taught the SAME thing month after month by both a Korean teacher AND Native speaker!

The Braggard: Has children. Talks about children. HIS/HER children. Loves the children and will make sure everyone knows about them.

The Personal Favorite: Ajossi who has traveled around the world several times, often on business. Speaks perfect English. Encourages others to speak. Buys dinner and drinks for everyone and refuses to ever accept a younger person's treat/money. Everyone's friend, a born leader.

The Beautiful Young Married Woman: Nothing but TROUBLE

[Cthulhu]

Continuing that adult student thought:

THE CELL PHONE PRINCESS: The damn thing goes off a dozen times in the class. Short of throwing it out the window you have to remind her (and everyone else) the rules about cell phones. But students don't like rules...

THE EAGER BEAVERS: Guys (usually a pair but sometimes alone) who will show up for all the classes, every time. Even when all other students fail to appear their will appear like clockwork, forcing you to not cancel the class. But they are so damned nice one's anger goes away after say, 20 minutes or so.

THE "I COME WHEN NOBODY ELSE SHOWS" STUDENT: The direct opposite of the EAGER BEAVERS (see above). That is, he will not show up for most of the term but on the one day the Eager Beavers have an MT trip along the East Coast he will show. This student is never the same twice, and rotates in a conspiratorial way.

THE "UNDER THE RADAR" STEALTH STUDENT: Doesn't register for the course but shows up anyway. Sometimes is the only student in the class (see above). Never has a textbook and doesn't care. Changes classes like changing shirts.

The QUESTON MAN: Asks questions about everything. Fortunately, unlike the Inquisitor (mentioned by djsmnc) his questions are never malicious. But he has a tendency to kill your 10 minute break time between classes with the most basic questions that usually have to be explained at length because his English ability isn't so hot. No matter how well you answer the question he usually leaves with a confused and/or pained expression on his face.

[rapier]

The "NO TOUCHEY KID". you can never wrestle, tickle, or even pat this hypersensitive kid. He/she will be very upset, possibly cry, or maybe even threaten to tell their parents. They are above the WWF game...thats for kids, right?
TOILET KID: he reserves the right to relieve himself when he wants- not before class or after. In fact he often times his persistent requests "teacher, toilet" for the moment the lesson starts, or gets too challenging. He often accompanies this with animated gestures.
PENCIL BREAKER: He never brings his own- but whatever one you provide, the lead will be snapped without fail. A repeat offender.

[BTM]