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A Couple Of Burning Questions On Korean Manners
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 6:00 am    Post subject: A Couple Of Burning Questions On Korean Manners Reply with quote

1) Why doesn't it occur to Koreans that they should line up at a service counter? I am at Costco tonight waiting in line behind a woman. I am waiting for my turn to order at the food court cash and these two high school girls walk past me and walk up to the counter beside the woman. I, of course know what's about to happen so I plant myself directly in front of the cashier the second the woman moves out of my way and catch the eyes of the cashier. Why didn't occur to the girls that they should be decent human beings and wait their turn behind me? This kind of behaviour hapens all the time at convenience stores and other places that have long counters. This is the first country I have been to where people don't line up in a store. Buses, of course, are another story.

2) There are so many kinds of Korean behaviour that get on my nerves.I'm trying to understand the logic behind some of the ways Koreans act. It's been a slow and mind-tiring process, but I get it every now and then. I am wondering what kinds of western behavior gets on Koreans' nerves? I am sure we have our own flaws too.

And by the way, don't you find it ironic that to keep your sanity in this country you have to develop a whole new level of patience to deal with very impatient Koreans?
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ajuma



Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Check out the book "Ugly Koreans, Ugly Americans". It's recently been updated (although some of the things are still wrong!), and they've added a lot of good stuff.

It's in English and Korean so you can use it in a low-level adult class if you need some material. Makes for great discussions!

For 5,000, it's a great buy!
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Ugly Americans"? How about the rest of us? Very Happy
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Natalia



Joined: 10 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 7:00 am    Post subject: Re: A Couple Of Burning Questions On Korean Manners Reply with quote

Dev wrote:
This is the first country I have been to where people don't line up in a store.


Clearly you haven't done much travel in Asia.

The arguments we used to find ourselves in in India.......... God they are rude there. Probably why I don't find Korean behaviour all that surprising. Half the time I don't see what people are complaining about.
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Css



Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 7:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ive noticed that they will queue but if they see the slightest chance of you not being in the line, or not moving quickly enough, they will jump in...but ive found that if you look at them and they realise youre in line, they will apologise and move back ...
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Satori



Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A sharp contrast with the Japanese who are amoung the best liner uppers in the known world! They don't try to get on subway trains before people have got out either. As for understanding it, I'm not hopeful.
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itaewonguy



Joined: 25 Mar 2003

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

becuase they are KOREAN!! and they are the master race!!
what! you just get here or something

I have 6 year olds asking each other in class how old they are so they can get respect form!!! and cry about it when they dont!

koreans dont respect anybody ,well only when confronted out comes their mask!
thats my story and im sticking with it..
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n3ptne



Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Location: Poh*A*ng City

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hows this for understanding:

Two highschoolers didn't feel like waiting for an ignorant nonKorean speaking foreigner to muddle his way through dealing with the Costco employee when they were just trying to buy some soju and come get drunk with me?

Seriously man, grow up.
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jaganath69



Joined: 17 Jul 2003

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 1:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In a nutshell, Koreans generally don't consider you worth relating to unless you have some kind of direct ties to them. Its not just because you are foreign, but due to the fact you are outside their sphere of reference as a non familymember/coworker/friend etc. They have manners, but not in the same way that people in the west do. Not being an appologist or anything, just telling it like it is.
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doggyji



Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Toronto - Hamilton - Vineland - St. Catherines

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Css sounds right. Try to check out the little rules. I think it's just hard to see someone blatantly cutting in line even if s/he thinks you are surely in line. You have to consider the Korean range of personal space, etc. I don't think I had any problem with the lineup thing.
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Bulsajo



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 3:41 pm    Post subject: Re: A Couple Of Burning Questions On Korean Manners Reply with quote

Dev wrote:
I'm trying to understand the logic behind some of the ways Koreans act.

Culture Shock: Korea, while a bit dated as a guidebook on Korea, has excellent parts which explain the traditional 'logic' of such behaviour, and for this reason I would highly recommend it.


Hmm, it looks like they have put out a 2005 edition (my comments above are based on the 1996 edition).

http://www.whatthebook.com/book/1558689362?
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Qinella



Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Location: the crib

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 5:47 pm    Post subject: Re: A Couple Of Burning Questions On Korean Manners Reply with quote

Dev wrote:
1) Why doesn't it occur to Koreans that they should line up at a service counter? I am at Costco tonight waiting in line behind a woman. I am waiting for my turn to order at the food court cash and these two high school girls walk past me and walk up to the counter beside the woman. I, of course know what's about to happen so I plant myself directly in front of the cashier the second the woman moves out of my way and catch the eyes of the cashier. Why didn't occur to the girls that they should be decent human beings and wait their turn behind me? This kind of behaviour hapens all the time at convenience stores and other places that have long counters. This is the first country I have been to where people don't line up in a store. Buses, of course, are another story.

2) There are so many kinds of Korean behaviour that get on my nerves.I'm trying to understand the logic behind some of the ways Koreans act. It's been a slow and mind-tiring process, but I get it every now and then. I am wondering what kinds of western behavior gets on Koreans' nerves? I am sure we have our own flaws too.

And by the way, don't you find it ironic that to keep your sanity in this country you have to develop a whole new level of patience to deal with very impatient Koreans?


The picture in your avatar is perfect for this post. Laughing
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Delirium's Brother



Joined: 08 May 2006
Location: Out in that field with Rumi, waiting for you to join us!

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 6:00 pm    Post subject: My first post here :) Reply with quote

I've been lurking on this forum for about six months, and have read a lot of posts similar to the original poster's message. They're kind of funny in a way, given the two anecdotes that I have to tell:

I lived in Indonesia for about a year in 2000, and the Indonesian version of queing at a ticket wicket is to form a 5 person deep semi-circle of about 30 people, around the wicket window and jam your arm, with cash in hand, through the others' out-stretched arms, shouting out your destination/desire. I lived in 2 cities and a town, and visited 3 other cities, and the procedure was much the same everywhere there. The only exception was the Jakarta train station. It was 5:30 am, and everyone was tired, and I think the the dozen or so foriegners there at the time were some how able to hypnotize everyone into a single file line.

I was listening to the Dutch English Language Radio Service the other day, and a British correspondant presented a funny op. ed. piece about the fact that the Dutch can't line up for the train without pushing, elbowing, and nearly knocking each other off the platform. She also mentioned that Dutch cyclists, ignore the rules of the road, constantly bang into pedestrians, and generally ride like wild maniacs ignoring the dangerous situations they are creating. All of this seemed so familliar from my reading here, that I thought that I would let you all in on it.

To me, the first anecdote is funny because of the visual picture it conjures in my memory (memory has a strange habit of making everything seem charming), and the second is funny because of the irony.

My only conclusion, if one can be gleaned from these anecdotes, is that "people are strange when you're a stranger."

p.s. hopefully leaving for Korea in the next few months, hope to meet some of you in person, then.
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 6:09 pm    Post subject: Re: A Couple Of Burning Questions On Korean Manners Reply with quote

[quote="Qinella"

The picture in your avatar is perfect for this post. Laughing[/quote]

Yeah, you're right. That's how I look a lot of times in public when I think Koreans should think a little bit more about how they affect the people around them. I also didn't appreciate the kids running around the aisles of Costco playing chase. In particular, I saw two boys about 5 years old battling each other with inflatable plastic swords that their parents must have given them. Is there anywhere in Korea where I can get a break from the kids? Maybe I'll try an art gallery.

Anyway, I posted the question about lining up because I am confused about it. I mean, I don't think Koreans are meanspirited and selfish for the most part. They DO have a lot of pride as a people. One of the main reasons why westerners will line up is because not lining up makes us look like we lack manners and organization. We simply look bad in front of other people. Koreans seem to not be concerned about looking bad in strangers' eyes.

I've read the Culture Shock book on Korea. It's very general and does not go into many specific behaviours. A good primer for the traveler, but not very helpful to the expat who lives here.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 8:11 pm    Post subject: Re: My first post here :) Reply with quote

Delirium's Brother wrote:

p.s. hopefully leaving for Korea in the next few months, hope to meet some of you in person, then.


Oh dear. My eyes are blurry right now, and when I read that I could have sworn it said
Quote:
hope to meet some of you in prison, then.


I'm interested in some of the research people have suggested, but haven't read the recommended books yet. I'm assuming there is logic at work that I don't understand, and one idea might be that Confusian hierarchy comes into play. Older people get to go first, for example, men come before women, etc. The "first-come-first-served" notion doesn't apply, so line-ups are pointless.
Yeah, it annoys me, and occasionally I stand my ground and refuse to be nudged/shoved aside, but I'm not too bothered.
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