|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| How do you feel towards having to pay constantly when out with your bird? |
| Do you wanna get laid or don't you? Splash the cash. Pay up or shut up! |
|
19% |
[ 10 ] |
| I reluctantly pay pretty much all the time. |
|
15% |
[ 8 ] |
| My girl pays for stuff too - she's cool like that. |
|
50% |
[ 26 ] |
| Other (explain) |
|
13% |
[ 7 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 51 |
|
| Author |
Message |
SPINOZA
Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul
|
 Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:08 pm Post subject: Dating question for guys |
 |
|
About paying. Who pays?
I know it's not just Korea where this happens, but at least in the WEst the lady will pay or contribute sometimes, perhaps often. But here the women are cheap-ass devils in my experience.
I'm naturally averse to excessive spending (a posh-sounding euphemism for a cheap bstd) but I also really want to please the lady. In all other respects, she's an absolute gem, but she really does take the fookin' piss when it comes to paying for stuff. She says it's the custom here for the guy to pay pretty much 90% of the time. I knew that, but it's unfair and expensive and sometimes it makes a guy feel like he's being used. My name's SPIN - not Donald Trump!
Anyway, chaps, your verdict please......(see poll) |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
ddeubel
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'd say pay up....if she is a lady, treat her like a lady.
Besides, you can't go against the BIG flow. the culture is like that and you nor a few thousand others, are going to put a thumb in this dike (oops, bad analogy...sorry).
Besides, besides, by paying, there are payoffs. A relationship is always mutually balanced. In this case the guy pays but he also gets benefits. Might be sex, might be having control to do what he wants/when he wants, might be empowerment , might be getting your clothes cleaned and dinner made........
So think of the bigger picture and not just the bottom line....
DD |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
seattlespew
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
*.*
Last edited by seattlespew on Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:23 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:19 pm Post subject: Re: Dating question for guys |
|
|
| SPINOZA wrote: |
About paying. Who pays?
I know it's not just Korea where this happens, but at least in the WEst the lady will pay or contribute sometimes, perhaps often. But here the women are cheap-ass devils in my experience.
I'm naturally averse to excessive spending (a posh-sounding euphemism for a cheap bstd) but I also really want to please the lady. In all other respects, she's an absolute gem, but she really does take the fookin' piss when it comes to paying for stuff. She says it's the custom here for the guy to pay pretty much 90% of the time. I knew that, but it's unfair and expensive and sometimes it makes a guy feel like he's being used. My name's SPIN - not Donald Trump!
Anyway, chaps, your verdict please......(see poll) |
If she is really that into you, she won't expect you to pay everytime. I pay most of the time with my GF, but sometimes we will be out, rock up a big bill and then she will go pay it, and never mention it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Just be a man and pay up, and shut up. God I hate tightwads... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| If shes a decent girl then im fine paying all the time...how i were raised. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Paji eh Wong
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| We take turns. I pick up the more expensive things, she picks up the small things, because she makes less than I do. Paying for everything sets a bad precedent. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Newbie
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
When we are just dating I pay for everything. That's the way it should be.
After a few months, when we become a couple, things need to be split. One night I'll pay for dinner/movie, next week she pay for beer and anju. And so on. If she is not interested in paying at that point, then I have no interest in seeing her. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
capebretoncanadian
Joined: 20 Feb 2005
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| We have the 50/50 agreement in principle but I gladly pay about 60-70% of the time. Works out well for both of us. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| capebretoncanadian wrote: |
| We have the 50/50 agreement in principle but I gladly pay about 60-70% of the time. Works out well for both of us. |
I find with women we fall into a 2:1 ratio. I pay two times in a row. She pays the third. It's never a spoken agreement. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| My girl is very successful, well-paid, and independent. She absolutely spoils me. I'm incredibly lucky. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I voted "other" because I generally pay when with a woman--I am just a bastard chauvinist like that. But occasionally the GF likes to treat her boy and that is fine with me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
cubanlord
Joined: 08 Jul 2005
Location: In Japan!
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 10:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I voted other. You see...I pay all of the time...oh wait.....she pays all of the time...oh wait....we're married.  
What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
StAxX SOuL
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Location: London
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 10:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Oh my, the age old debate.
First off�
| Quote: |
| Besides, besides, by paying, there are payoffs. A relationship is always mutually balanced. In this case the guy pays but he also gets benefits. Might be sex, might be having control to do what he wants/when he wants, might be empowerment , might be getting your clothes cleaned and dinner made........ |
No, no, no, no. What you are intimating here is the approach a guy will take if he has nothing besides money to offer a girl. If you�re good in bed the girl will come back for more of the same regardless of whether you pay for things. Did you ever think that by simply showing a chick a good time she�ll entrust you to make the majority of those decisions in the future? And hey, she may even feel compelled to wash your clothes, dishes and make you dinner because of the above or the fact that you keep her entertained with stimulating conversation. I mean, there�s been girls I�ve treated poorly yet they�ll persist to call me, ask what I�m up to, tell me they want to see me, then come over wash my dishes, buy me gifts and so forth. Don't be the male equivalent.
The ultimate answer to your question is just a natural one. If you�re out with your friends sometimes your friends will catch drinks, sometimes you will. Girls are no different. Payment should never become an issue where you�re working out the percentages, just do what feels natural � but do resist any temptation to become the most chivalrous gentleman this side of Asia no matter how natural you may think it feels. If you�re going out for dinner with a girl and on to the movies later, why not pay for dinner and then have her catch the movies and the taxi fare home? Next time she might catch dinner and it�s on you to get the drinks and the taxi home later. This is a process every guy should be educated on by their late teens, and definitely by the time they�ve graduated University.
In your situation Spin, don�t believe what women tell you. It�s ridiculously passive to succumb to her 90% talk. Don�t be so soft; tell her that where you come from it�s customary for women to give their fair share, and if she wants to date a western guy then that�s the way you want things. If she wants the 90% rule and the �disadvantages� that come with dating a Korean guy and being his property then she should go find herself one. Most guys avoid such a confrontation because their scared of losing the girl, but if it results in a loss then trust me, it�s a good loss. You know why? Because all that would have happened is that 6 months or a year down the line you�d find yourself being ditched on some corrupt reasoning with a wallet a few million Won lighter for your troubles. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Location: the crib
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 10:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I generally don't talk about money. Even if I'm out with guys, it doesn't occur to me to care who pays how much. I'll pick up the tab, you can pick it up, we can all throw in.. doesn't much matter to me as long as I have the money. Naively, I act as though I believe in karma. Give here, get there.
With girls, I tend to pay, but they pay sometimes. Doesn't matter to me. But then, I've only had a steady girlfriend once, and that was six years ago, so I can't say how I'd feel paying for 100% of things always with the same person. I think with her I didn't mind, especially since she didn't work, and rode me like I was a tricycle and she was Lance Armstrong. How's that for a nice mental picture?
Q. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
