Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kermo]

I know you�re not the brightest crayons in the box. There�s a reason you�re here at a technical college, learning make-up artistry or chair design. I know you didn�t choose to be here in my English class, but it�s only 70 minutes a week. We�re in this together.

During those 70 minutes, I�m doing my darndest to keep you entertained. You�ve picked a seat at the back, barely able to see the board, but I�m running back and forth, jumping up and down, miming wildly and using silly voices. The least you could do is pick your head up off the desk. You know what would also be nice? If you brought your book, so I could teach you the material in it. To those of you who bring it, I thank you. Now, would you please try to keep your book open to the right page? Humour me. You can see me walking around the class checking the page numbers. Why do I have to individually turn your books when I�ve walked down the aisles repeating the page numbers three times, in English AND in Korean, even waving the book and using sign-language? Am I inaudible AND invisible?

I can see you when you write text messages with your handphone even though you cleverly hide it under the desk. It�s not hard to notice you staring intently at your lap. I can also see you having actual muffled conversations into your phone behind your book. In fact, when your book or your bag is sitting on your desk in front of you, you�re probably up to no good. I know it, and you know I know it.

You know I take attendance, so many of you show up to raise your hand and get a little mark in the book. That�s nice. Do you think I don�t notice when you leave two minutes later? Why would you get up and come to school for nine in the morning when you don�t stay long enough to warm up your seat? And to those of you who do stay, attendance is only a small part of your mark. If you spend the whole time taking pictures of yourself, adjusting your coloured contact lenses, working on your make-up, drawing intricate self-portraits in pencil on the desks, what makes you think you have a chance in hell of of passing the exam? Make a minimal effort and give some of your attention to the nice lady who is waving at you from the front of the class.

I know the book is a little over your head. That�s why I�ve made the exam really straight-forward, and basically given you the list of of pages to study, and in some cases, the actual test questions. It amazes me that you can�t be bothered to even write the page numbers down let alone glance at them later this week.

Thanks for listening, and I�ll see you next semester.

[guangho]

To my (Polish) University students:

Hey there. How are you guys doing? Say, have I seen you before? No? Is that because you have never shown up for class? What's that? You DID show up? If so, why don't I have you on the rosters? Oh that was just a lie? Okay, I get it. I'm a hip cat. I'm down with dishonesty. Hey, speaking of dishonesty, I can download term papers from the internet too. Wanna see? When you can barely utter three sentences and give me a paper that reads like Strunk & White put to use, I can tell you copied it. Really, I like SO totally can dude. And what's up with reading your paper out loud and calling that a presentation?

Hey Kasia, how's it going? Oh you're not feeling well? Can't come to class? Gosh you must be a sickly little thing if you never show up. Maybe you should go to the doctor. Oh yeah, no doctors in Coalville. I forgot. Hey whatcha up to later? Wanna check out my class sometime? No? Just sign your report card with a 5 eh? I dunno........oh you're touching my arm you flirty lil thing you. Well in that case, I gotta say no. 'Cuz I have integrity. What's integrity? It's that thing you don't have doll. Dontcha worry your purty lil head over it.

Hey guys. So, no textbooks I see. You never have textbooks? For any class? Wow, so how do you study? You gonna tell me over some beer in the cafe? Oh okay. I guess we can do that seeing as how none of your other teachers showed up today. Say, where is Kasia?

[Lemonade]

Kermo, you aren't alone in your experience. Your note sounds like something I would write to the students except for a few things I might add:

1.) when I catch you cheating on your exams and you confess, why do you still complain and go to Koreans to whine on and on knowing full well what you did was wrong? You go over my head to complain about your grade. Why? because YOU cheated without any shame whatsoever and you are looking for support from a Korean ... the Dean. Then you make yourself look like a fool when the Dean supports ME, not YOU.

2.) Why do you say you don't understand me when you don't even TRY to understand? You are either falling asleep, talking in Korean the whole class or doing anything BUT paying attention. You get angry when I wake you up. You get angry when I tell you to be quiet or leave. You get angry when I tell you to put your cell phones away. You get angry for any reason whatsoever. Most of all you get angry at ME when YOU fail an exam... the same exam I let you take home to study so you would pass the class. Ever wonder why you get an F when 95% of the class gets an A+!!! Only a complete loser will take an exam home... copy all the answers in it and then still fail the exam. The questions were simple as can be... a joke even... yet you FAIL.

[cypher]

Kermo, that sounds exactly like my students....my 8 year olds! Except for the leaving class thing, they can't do that-it is babysitting after all.

[Yelman]

you are now qualified to teach in Thailand...hahahah is this an Asian thing with these students?

[Lemonade]

[Yelman]

6 years in the trenches.......Bangkok isnt what you heard it was.

[Lemonade]

[Pak Yu Man]

To my students!

If you are going to sit in the front row, at least don't read the newspaper.
When I kick your ass out of class...don't act so surprised.

Also when today, the last day, is the final exams. Don;t show up 45 mins late for the exam. I also don't suggest dong this when it is a class of 15 and I don't know who the hell you are. Ah you two are those two girls with no checks next to your name on the attendance.

Guess what. D or F. Don't act do surprised and call me up afterwards asking for a different grade.

thank god vacation starts Friday.

Just watched the game. Damn...Korea won.

[Yelman]

U dont get screwed over too much by thai schools but on the other hand you dont nothing as far as salary goes.
You have less paper work for a work visa...as i remember.....might have changed a little..i did mine about 6 years ago.

the whole time i was in Thailand i felt like thai school admins and parents viewed me as sexual pervert.......Being friendly with any student in any manner is a no no.....im all business.
Always these negatives hanging on to "farangs" foreigners that come to thailand..+ Thais some who have a little bit more money than a street vendor view as scum because you are a teacher therefore being lower than any asian

[PeroPero]

it reminds me of my students in brazil.....
but at least they�re not allowed to use cell phones during the classes and i NEVER let them leave the class (even if i have to put an upside down chair in front of the door!)

[Lemonade]

[The Lemon]

[Lemonade]

[Hyeon Een]

I am the most generous credit-giving Uni-teacher ever. I
would probably make most of the other foreign University
teachers SICK with my generosity. I am pretty much giving
out grade-candy by the sackload to retards who can hardly
hold a pencil, let alone speak English.

However, there are certain times I draw the line. They
are few and far between, but even a generous-ass has to
have a limit.

If you are my student, then I am responsible for about
50% of your final score. I get to grade you on attendance,
your writing homework, and your class participation. The
rest is graded on your (computerized) exam results, your
computerized listening and reading homeworks, and your
Korean teacher.

Now, as I said, I am generous. If you submit me a writing
homework which is 65% absolute gibberish and 35% konglish
spittle, I will pass you. If you submit 95% absolute
똥 I will still pass you. If, however you submit a perfect
essay then I WILL FAIL YOUR ASS BECAUSE I KNOW YOU CHEATED.
You know why? Because I can copy and paste your essay into
a Korean search engine, and I will get back THE SAME ENTIRE
ESSAY, but dated about a year or two before, written by
some other 범석 that isn't you.

If I also get a homework written alone the lines of:
"The kimchi the Korean questionable matter thing is proud. It
taste [iss], the food which has the nutrition minute which is
world-wide it health which gives an ability hazard reknowned."

You know what? YOU'RE BUSTED. I know you typed Korean into
an internet translator and CHEATED on me. And no, don't go
whining to the Korean teacher and say "I didn't KNOW I wasn't
allowed to type my entire 5 sentence homework into a website
and press the 'translate' button! I thought that was cool!"
because I will rip the korean teacher a new asshole if they
even try to present this as a valid complaint to me.

You know whats worse than plagiarism off the internet? I'll
tell you, it's plagiarism off of another student taking the
same course. And do you know whats worse than plagiarism from
a student taking the same course? I'll tell you, it's plagiarism
from a student taking the same course, WITH HIS TEACHERS
'CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM' INCLUDED AS THE LAST TEN SENTENCES
OF YOUR "FIVE SENTENCE ESSAY HOMEWORK". You're dumb as a
stunned cod if you try that.

I am also super generous with attendance. If you are calling
in "absent" for a super important dodgeball game which the
University doesn't officially allow me to accept, I'm going
to ignore them, you're cool. If you come in 30 minutes late
I'm going to mark you in a BIG, ANGRY, "L" for late.. but it
won't matter at the end of the semester because you'll still
count as being there when I tally up my absences.

However, if you turn up for Roll Call, but YOU'RE NOT THERE FIVE
MINUTES LATER when I ask you a question, I'm pissed off. Either
come to my class, or don't. Don't sneak out when I'm not looking
and hope to get away with it. The door slams when someone leaves,
and I ALWAYS work out just who the hell it was. You know what I do
for that? You get a "SUPER ABSENCE" that means you're DEFINITELY
getting a comment on the computer for whoever is teaching
you next, and you're also marked doubly absent. If you wanta take
a class off just tell me you're playing dodgeball or make up
some other lame excuse. DON'T WALK OUT ON ME. IT RUBS ME UP THE
WRONG WAY.

That is all for now.

If you are my student next semester, use yours, or one of your
co-student's brains.

Thanks,