|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| muscles or personality? |
| muscles |
|
24% |
[ 7 ] |
| personality |
|
75% |
[ 22 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 29 |
|
| Author |
Message |
jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
|
 Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:39 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
This thread makes me want to go to the next dave's get together. Thanks ladies.   
Last edited by jinju on Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:52 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
secret sphinx
Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Location: KARMA
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
i'm a perfect balance of both and a real good dancer!  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm one of those measly personality guys and happily married.
But when I was younger one thing I couldn't understand is why some young women at parties after talking with me for an hour would invariably say, Oh, there's my boyfriend."
I see the boyfriend and am incredulous. He's like some immature hockey or rugby guy, big and strong, hairy and uncouth sucking beer with his mates and watching me out of the corner of his eye.
This happened twice when I met two ladies that I really, really liked.
One of those girls got pregnant to the monster and adopted out. Although her 'man' had the body, inside he was a poof and couldn't handle conviction.
The other young lass, well, I don't know but she wasn't headed in the right direction if you ask me.
And, about the body?
I'm a New Zealander and you should read the news there about the sportsmen. These are role model rugby players etc, they are apes. One guy who was my age level from the same school became a famous TV personality after his early 20's league playing days.
Before his TV career though this ape had un-consential sex with a young woman at a party. It was known in circles. He got no time as lack of evidence (he was very nearly tried but it was a quiet hush hush affair), but most of those of our age knew he did it.
Anyway, to the public, who don't know him nor his history, he's a stud - great build and reads the cue cards relatively accurately. Like, "Gee, that's really funny."
Not in any way thought provoking stuff.
Anyway, my question is:
Why do women always so often go for these kind of guys?
What's so good about these muscly ape-like men? Is it because they concieve themselves as top of the chain? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Cheonmunka wrote: |
| What's so good about these muscly ape-like men? Is it because they conceive themselves as top of the chain? |
Ape men probably make their desires crystal clear. The best line I heard from a woman friend about nice guys:
"If nice guys finish last, it's only because they want the woman to carry them over the finish line."
If a mindless porn star or stripper made it crystal clear she wanted you, would you reject her?
Many women also get into a mind frame like "well, I don't deserve better so I may as well get used to a guy like this." No matter what women say they want, like men, they are still ruled by their weakness and self doubt. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 7:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Genuine nice guys are great. Guys that think of themselves as "nice guys" on the other hand, are generally bad news, and best avoided. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 8:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Cheonmunka wrote: |
What's so good about these muscly ape-like men? Is it because they concieve themselves as top of the chain? |
For a lot of women they are the top of the food chain, at least at a certain age in a woman's life. But it's the celebrity element of sports stars more so than the body I think. A muscle bound nobody is not going to clean up, especially if he's also dumb.
But I wouldn't advise being nice. Polite, friendly, respectful, funny, interested, interesting, yes, but never "nice"... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kingplaya4
Joined: 14 May 2006
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Satori wrote: |
| Cheonmunka wrote: |
What's so good about these muscly ape-like men? Is it because they concieve themselves as top of the chain? |
For a lot of women they are the top of the food chain, at least at a certain age in a woman's life. But it's the celebrity element of sports stars more so than the body I think. A muscle bound nobody is not going to clean up, especially if he's also dumb.
But I wouldn't advise being nice. Polite, friendly, respectful, funny, interested, interesting, yes, but never "nice"... |
I think the key is that people assume the human race is further evolved than it actually is. No, women don't care that you're a nice guy if you are a ninety pound geek with zero sex appeal. (Or a fat geek with ugly glasses and back hair, you get the idea...) Maybe in Korea it's different, but in the west women don't want to date a guy that they are afraid wouldn't be able to protect them if something physical went down.
They also would rather date a guy with a good jawline, nice teeth, 6'2 with muscles rather than a guy who may be a little nicer and a good deal more intelligent who has mediocre looks. I know I'm generalizing, but that is the trend in dating.
And the same thing goes for guys. They don't care how nice a woman is if she has a plain face and weighs 300 pounds. But if a guy is only slightly above average in looks, and a bitchy ten is willing to date him, watch him cling to her as if she's a life preserver.
I'm not passing judgement on whether this is bad or not, what I'm trying to say is that animal attraction is still very strong in the human race, and things like personality and intelligence are more icing than what we REALLY look for. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 9:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| kingplaya4 wrote: |
And the same thing goes for guys. They don't care how nice a woman is if she has a plain face and weighs 300 pounds. But if a guy is only slightly above average in looks, and a *beep* ten is willing to date him, watch him cling to her as if she's a life preserver.
I'm not passing judgement on whether this is bad or not, what I'm trying to say is that animal attraction is still very strong in the human race, and things like personality and intelligence are more icing than what we REALLY look for. |
Yeah that was my point up there. Every guy that bemoans losing a woman because he's just too nice and not jerk enough should be forced to date the next super nice Two Ton Tessy that walks through the door. But she's very nice...
Men and women basically both want it good in the sack. The major difference is with a guy, if he's getting it good in the sack, isn't moaning about the little things. "Oh she forgot my birthday... blah blah." You never hear that with a guy dating a leggy porn star, now do you?
Of course what men and women define as "good" in the sack can vary widely. Okay, not very widely with men. We want a woman with great fun pillows, a nice ass, long legs, and she's a screamer. What women view as good in the sack has a lot more variation. Some want full on Cirque du Soleil sex. Some want soft lights, candles, flower petals around the bed. Some want both but at different times and will never tell you what is the right time and will blame you if you don't read their mind correctly and call you the worse a hole she's ever dated and she wonders at times why you even bother to call yourself a man...
Korean women, of course, are never this last type of woman. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| kingplaya4 wrote: |
But if a guy is only slightly above average in looks, and a *beep* ten is willing to date him, watch him cling to her as if she's a life preserver.
|
Which is a sure way to lose her in the end. Never act grateful. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
identity
Joined: 22 Apr 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| *beep*. i know i've seen a bunch of you shmucks walkin around town. you're all ugly, so why split hairs? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kingplaya4
Joined: 14 May 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
[/quote] Yeah that was my point up there. Every guy that bemoans losing a woman because he's just too nice and not jerk enough should be forced to date the next super nice Two Ton Tessy that walks through the door. But she's very nice...
Men and women basically both want it good in the sack. The major difference is with a guy, if he's getting it good in the sack, isn't moaning about the little things. "Oh she forgot my birthday... blah blah." You never hear that with a guy dating a leggy porn star, now do you?
Of course what men and women define as "good" in the sack can vary widely. Okay, not very widely with men. We want a woman with great fun pillows, a nice ass, long legs, and she's a screamer. What women view as good in the sack has a lot more variation. Some want full on Cirque du Soleil sex. Some want soft lights, candles, flower petals around the bed. Some want both but at different times and will never tell you what is the right time and will blame you if you don't read their mind correctly and call you the worse a hole she's ever dated and she wonders at times why you even bother to call yourself a man...
Korean women, of course, are never this last type of woman.[/quote]
Is it good in the sack or good looking? Maybe I don't have enough variety of experience, but the girls I dated were fairly passive sexually, rarely wanted to be on top, and pretty well expected me to take the lead.
Would be nice to experience something different in one way, although for me if they were too sexually experienced it would probably scare me.
Anyways, the passive sexual experience didn't bother me, had they been more mature and a genuinely sweet.
I think what I wrote can be taken too far.....yes we screen out people that we have no sexual attraction to, and then get as good as we can, but just passing our looks test really isn't enough. If we constantly disagree, or she has no life ambition, never wants to do anything, or only wants to work all the time etc. her good looks are only going to serve her for a short term relationship.
I do agree that women are a little more petty, but I mean wouldn't you be dissapointed if a girl forgot your birthday? You probably wouldn't be bitchy for two weeks about it, but if other problems already exist in the relationship, things are headed for a rocky landing.
Btw, I miss your old avatar. I'm not usually in to petite Asian women, but she was pretty cute. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
canuckistan
Mod Team
Joined: 17 Jun 2003
Location: Training future GS competitors.....
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Muscles, personality and brains. Great combination. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 7:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| women want arseholes. Nice guys? cmon. If two guys walk up to a girl, one a niceguy and the other an outgoing arsehole, even if the niceguy looks better (provided the arsehole isnt butt ugly) the girl will go with the arsehole. Women basically want guys who project power. be that physical power, financial power, a powerful personality (i.e machismo). Thats it. Women are not difficult beings to figure out, in many ways they are more shallow, easier to read than men. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 7:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| kingplaya4 wrote: |
They also would rather date a guy with a good jawline, nice teeth, 6'2 with muscles rather than a guy who may be a little nicer and a good deal more intelligent who has mediocre looks. I know I'm generalizing, but that is the trend in dating. |
Got to disagree here.
I kid you not: what occurs to me when I see a guy with bulging pecs is this-- "I wonder how long he spent in the gym developing those instead of reading books?"
Intelligence rates very highly with me, as does sense of humour. If you've got red hair, well, that pretty much seals the deal.
Un-nice qualities like pushiness, dishonesty, aggression, insincerity-- these are all deal-breakers.
In the interest of full disclosure, I spent some time last year pursuing an asshole-only policy, because I wasn't available for a medium-long term relationship and I didn't want to form a close cuddly connection with anyone. Didn't want to hurt the nice guys, or worse, fall for one. These days I've got no time for the arseholes. That season is over and done. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| jinju wrote: |
| women want arseholes. Nice guys? cmon. If two guys walk up to a girl, one a niceguy and the other an outgoing arsehole, even if the niceguy looks better (provided the arsehole isnt butt ugly) the girl will go with the arsehole. Women basically want guys who project power. be that physical power, financial power, a powerful personality (i.e machismo). Thats it. Women are not difficult beings to figure out, in many ways they are more shallow, easier to read than men. |
Right, women dont want nice guys. But of course a knob like you will take things to the other extreme, see things in black and white. Fact is, women dont want nice guys, OR arseholes. They want a guy with self confidence, and there is a big and important difference between self confidence and arrogance/egotism. They dont want an obsequious guy who acts grateful for her company. They dont want a guy who acts like she is lucky to even be around him. They dont want a totally selfish knobend. They dont want a doormat. Charisma doesnt mean pushy. Confidence doesnt mean arrogance. Self esteem doesnt mean selfishness. They want a guy who is reasonable, treats her with respect but wont be pushed around or manipulated or used. A guy who knows when to hang back and give her space, and when to be decisive and take the lead. A guy who knows when to be soft and when to be a man...
In short, they want ME!!! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
