Korean Job Discussion Forums

[spinario]

Don't sh*t where you eat. Simple.

[jacl]

Don't refuse sex because of work.

No wife, no significant other, no problem.

When you're 70 years old, you'll be thinking "Shit! I should've done her. Life's too short! Ahhhhhhh!"

[sadsac]

Do the job that you have been entrusted with. Unless you are willing to give it all up, pull your head out of your a** and address the issues. She may well be aware of your infatuation and is playing you like the teenager that you're acting like.

[gurudave]

That's a bit of a dilemmarama there, but I remember having the same kinds of problems when I used to work in Korea at a small uni. Guys are guys, so it's pretty normal to get mini crushes on co-workers and students - even if you are happlily married, as I was... and still am!

There was this one co-worker, I'll call her Jathy Kenkins, who was an absolute J-queen. She was totally into yoga and a total flirt with me. The temptation was there 24-7. She was always, like, inviting me to her yoga school and trying to get me to go with her on yoga retreats. I'm sure I could have "scratched my itch" pretty easily with her, but I chickened out.

Then there was her pal, Pratty I. She wasn't as attractive (or flexible) as Jathy, but she had quite an aura and was so warm hearted and generous - always offering to help you out with anything - that she kind of grew on me.

Sorry! I'm hear to talk about solutions, not ramble on! Well, it sounds a little harsh, but I found that sometimes the best thing to do without getting the situation complicated was to just go up the good ol realible hill in Itaewon. As long as you protect 'little willy', nobody gets hurt and there won't be a potential for misunderstandings. For a while I tried turning off the lights at home, but with two young little uns (R and E - daddy loves ya!) crying or interupting for mommy milk, it was difficult to get into fantasy mode. Then one day, at my friend's stag in fact, I kind of stumbled upon (and into) the solution.

Thankfully being back in the good ol U-S of A, most of my new classmates and co-workers are on the hefty and unattractive side so far (knock! knock!). Plus now I am doing curriculum plans everyday so I really don't have time or energy to think about anything apart from school, work, and the little uns.

Seriously though, the hill isn't a bad option. The girls there are used to working with married guys and will get into role plays if you want. Anyway, don't knock it till you try it.

Good luck!

- GuruD

[Gideon]

ROTFL... Itaewon Hill.. haha..

You could just tug one off before you walk into work... that might help!!

Or Itaewon is a good option if cheating on your wife ok with you.. course it seems to be the norm in this country. Why else is there such an abundance of poles, massage parlors, love motels.. ect..

GO GETT'M TIGER

[JZer]

[splifwiz]

ask a to go fa a drink afta wurk and ave grub. thun express your deep dig fa da beech and poa out your art at ow much yous dig to get jiggy wiv a. take a back to your place and ave quillions of riding the punanni. thun da next mornin go natta to your superia and rat er out.

[Doogie]

You say "crush" but then you mention "love" a number of times. Unfortunately, one often leads to the other. I do sympathize with your situation as it's brutal feeling that way about someone you can't be with and you still have to see them everyday. A number of years ago back in Canada, I fell hopelessly in love with a married co-worker. She wasn't in a happy marriage but she was too scared to leave it. She definitely wanted to start something but I couldn't do it. Anyway (luckily) I ended up getting a new job and I decided to cut off contact with her. It was a brutal time. I would definitely be honest with this girl about the work-related situation. As far as your feelings go, the best you can do is just try and keep busy and try not to think about her. I know, easier said than done. She's leaving in 6 months anyway. Good luck.

[robot]

this is either a very weird troll (man, it musta taken you forever to type that out. tho i guess it worked, as people are responding...)

or

you are a real dude who has revealed, in addition to a dark secret that could compromise your current relationship, a lot of personal details.

i mean, there can't be that many motorbiking, judo-practicing, junior college-coordinating fellows in korea.

edit button?

ROBT.

[Yo!Chingo]

This is most definately not troll bait. I really feel for you OP because I think that we've all been there. Crushes are normal even when you're married. Please remember this though; even though we're really just animals with some creative ability and opposable thumbs, the thing that seperates us from the beasts is reason and hopefully some foresight. Is this girl, who to be honest doesn't sound that wonderful, worth potentially losing your job, your wife, and your self respect over?

Chalk her up to a fantasy and look at her for what she really is.

[Oilers Fan]

Hi guys. Sorry for not having gotten back to you sooner, but with the beginning of summer, Cup playoffs and whatnot, things have been super busy on my end. But that�s all over now and things have mellowed and I wanted to give a shout out to those who responded. Cheers. Although the responses and points of view varied, I think I was able to gather a feeling for the zeitgeist (there, that�s for the guy who said I wrote like a 15 year old � 15 year olds don�t use the word �zeitgeist� HA!!) of my fellow ESL professionals.

I�ve decided to try and deal with my crush. This should be easy because, as somebody pointed out, this board is popular and there is a chance that it could be read by any one of many people. I think that this has happened. I�ve been trying to speak with crushee (does that make a crusher? I hope not. Will Crusher was a wimp � Beverly was pretty sweet though) for awhile now regarding work stuff but she hasn�t returned my phone calls and seems to be ignoring me. I live just below her in the same apt building and there�s been a few times when I�ve seen her lights on and knocked on her door but she didn�t answer. Maybe I�m wrong, but I think she caught wind of my original post. I think that, in the grand scheme of things that may be for the best though. I figure that having gotten my crush off my chest (is that why they call it a crush?) I feel better about the whole deal. If anything my crush has abated (�abated� � I�d like to see a 15 year old use that HA HA!!). I still do feel my heart flutter when I think about my crushee, or, should I say me �ex-crushee� but it�s nowhere near as bad as it was before. I don�t get all blotchy anymore. I figured that if I throw myself into my non-heterosexually charged hobbies I�d think less about those yummy eyes and silky hair. So I�m spending more and more time with my judo and judo and that seems to be alleviating (HA HA HA!!!) things too.

As far as my crushee�s problems with work, it seems like the administration has put things on the back burner now that summer is in full swing. That, or maybe they just aren�t telling me things. That�s happens from time to time. Since I wrote last, nothing has been said. I figure that since I haven�t been put in a position where I�d have to tell a lie, I�ll just remember my OPSEC and that loose lips sink ships. I guess if there are still problems in the fall, maybe I�ll say something, but right now I�ll keep my lips buttoned. My coworker is on vacation this summer anyways so I doubt there will be any more �guitar lesson� conflicts with work and stuff.

Well, that�s about all I off to say. I�m off like a prom dress. Thanks again.

GO OILERS!! (next year;)

[jacl]

Just keep looking out the window and catch her as she's going out.

Also, you could start some sort of shrine. Get locks of her hair, the paper cups she throws away, etc. Possibilities are endless.