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ever feel like an ass for dissing Korea too much?
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ekim



Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Location: Ansan, Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:18 am    Post subject: ever feel like an ass for dissing Korea too much? Reply with quote

I just walked into a restaurant today and ordered my kimchi jigae - first time in 14 months here I've ordered it - and noticed the owners having dinner. It's a kimbap restaurant, but they had the samgyupsal and galbi cookin' and invited me to sit down. I thought it would just be a bite or two, but they stuffed me with a whole meal, while waiting for my, what now seemed to be, side order.

I get my kimchi jigae, go sit down, and they still bring over a plate of meat and leaves to wrap it all in. Jesus, I finished up, paid, thanked them, and came back with my own gift to them of ice cream. Cheesey, I know.

It was only last night that a friendly Korean I sometimes drink with at the nearby pub insisted on paying for the two tequila shots I ordered to celebrate his promotion. The tequila (doubles) must've gone straight to my head, cuz a little later I thought I'd order a couple shots of whiskey to keep the friendly mood going.

Dumb thing to do, I realized two seconds after the order came out of my mouth. Next thing I know they're discussing in Korean how you can't just have shots, you gotta buy the bottle, and again, I'm not gonna be allowed to pay for it any way it goes down. I tried to talk them down to a cheaper alcohol, like tequila or burbon, but no dice. To cede defeat to a bottle of JD in front of his younger, foreign, friend would be too much shame for this hard working Korean. So he pays the 80~100,000 won (whatever it is) and they kept a tag on it for other appearances - my name and his, underlined by "to friendship".

Why am I writing this? Well, I've had two great - damn near embarrassing - experiences with Koreans in two days, none of the bad stuff. I know the bad experiences will come around here or there, sooner or later, as they always do. But it's rare for anyone to write about their good experiences with Koreans. Every email I write home usually covers the bad things.

There've been a lot of emails. But I've had more than enough opportunity to write some good things about Korea, from the day I got here and the lady at the store kept giving me free snacks to go with the beer I was drinkin' outside. My Korean friends have been incredible to me. The local shop owners and businesses have been plenty friendly. Even my students have been more or less great.

These are the things that make me feel bad every time I bash Korea so harshly, which begs the question, why do I do it? Maybe it's human nature to complain. Maybe it's too easy to go with the flow, and since everyone else is bashing Korea, why not? I had plenty of ammunition with which to attack Korea before I even got here, all second or third hand info.

I'm not saying all of Korea is great and honky-dory. I've had my fights and my trouble. But the good stuff is equally impressive. It's definitely a love-hate relationship with this country. So for all the hatin' I've done, here's some love.
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Guri Guy



Joined: 07 Sep 2003
Location: Bamboo Island

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Korea is good and bad just like any other country. Imagine that.
I have seen kindess and pure ignorance here. It is nice to hear positive stories I'll admit. Makes me feel better about the country.
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Hapkido-In



Joined: 24 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess we've all had good and bad experiences in Korea. I think we hear about the bad one's a little more simply because it's nice to vent when you're mad/angry. And it's also nice to hear a reply or two from people that feel exactly the same as you do. Even though you might feel alone in Korea at times, you can at least know that some one else feels the same way that you do. I guess it's sort of validating in the 'I'm not insane' sense.

Personally, I have good experiences every night in Korea (training hapkido). From the Master showing me how to fine tune my techinques, to the 19 year old uni student trying so hard to communicate with me. (And he's really not trying to get free English lessons from me, as he'll combine English with Korean and body language, anything he can to communicate).

I also have bad experiences every day, but I try not to dwell too much on them and try to remember things will turn around.

I actually think that Korea is very close to being a paradise for most people, but because of a few very glaring problems, is not. And that it's rather frustrating when a really great life dangles right infront of your face, but out of your grasp. But life is like that in any country.

Anyways, nice to hear that you had two really great experiences like that. Hope they keep on coming.
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Mitch Comestein



Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Location: South

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks God for a post like this!

Everyone (No, I know not EVERYONE) disses Koreans for being "Blah, Blah, Blah" or whatever, but most of the Koreans that I have ever had real contact with have been some of the nicest people I have ever met! Also, may I note, I am from the southern US, where hospitality is the name of the game.

I think that Koreans get a bad rap. I also think that people who have a hard time with Koreans deserve it.

Koreans want to impress people with their hospitality. So far, they have done it with me.
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Imbroglio



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: Behind the wheel of a large automobile

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never, ever had a lick of trouble in Korea.

In fact, I don't understand what everyone is talking about, shoving...pushing? I've always been given the right of way everywhere I go. When I get on the subway, middle aged ladies hold the door for me!

Where do these lies come from? Why is everyone so down on Korea?

I've been here ten years and all that bad stuff ain't never happened to me. Maybe because I'm a great looking model for Korean billboards? I don't know, and I don't care, because here in Korea...Im a movie star!
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Guri Guy



Joined: 07 Sep 2003
Location: Bamboo Island

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I think that Koreans get a bad rap. I also think that people who have a hard time with Koreans deserve it.


Can't agree with that statement though. Like I said, there are good and bad Koreans. There are plenty of bad ones. Like my first boss. *Ugh*
Just like people that will go out of their way to show you kindess ,there are people that are all too willing to stab you in the back. I think there are many more good people than bad but the bad get a lot of press here.


Last edited by Guri Guy on Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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Satori



Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The good things and the complaints are equally valid for me. I'm not a misanthrope or a romantic idealist.

When it comes to generosity a lot of Koreans will give you the shirt of thier back. But ask them if it's ok if you marry thier daughter, you might see another side of things... Cool


Last edited by Satori on Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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joyfulgirl



Joined: 05 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

of course korea is good and bad, like anywhere. i thought it was pure bliss for ages. i never got the whole...'watch out for the elbows in the subway' thing, er whatever...but, then i don't ride the subway that much.

anyways, lately my job situation has gotten so stressful, and i'm so angry at my boss, that i find myself walking home angry at the WHOLE country...which is lame and stupid. and last week i sullenly walked into a convenience store near my place and asked for ciggies, and the sweet old guy behind the counter threw in a pack of chocolates as service. and i smiled again.

not that the chocolates makes the stress of work go away, of course, but it snapped me out of whatever i was thinking about 'bloody smiling koreans'...

the only thing that's ever bothered me about this place is my job situation lately, really.

it's as good a place as any, more so oftentimes. and less so, if you're having a rough time. people just vent when they're angry, not when they're happy.
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ekim



Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Location: Ansan, Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:23 am    Post subject: true enough Reply with quote

Yeah, that daughter thing may hold a lot of weight. There can be limits. I often feel like I'm walkin' on shells when people are kind, like I could mess it up pretty badly with one wrong move or statement.

Most of my bad experiences involve alcohol. Damn near all of 'em. I'm not sure if alcohol is the reason for all of 'em, but it didn't help the situations.

One non-alcohol related complaint I have quite often is how simple things get over complicated! Jesus! It's just an ice-cream CONE, or a re-fill of Coke I'm willing to pay for if I have to!

Then I remember Vancouver airport and Canadian red-tape in general, and it brings me back down to earth in a hurry.

It's funny that I used to complain to my Taiwanese friend in Taiwan about their "unprofessional" ways of doing things. Whenever I thought back on Canada, however, it was exactly that which appealed to me about Taiwan.

Korea ain't bad. Can't say I miss Canada.
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cubanlord



Joined: 08 Jul 2005
Location: In Japan!

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To answer the OP, I don't. I rarely bash Korea unless provoked. Then, depending on what the provocation entailed, I chose my "remarks" carefully.

Most of the time, I don't regret what I say because that is how I feel and it is my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and as someone previously stated, each country has its' own pros and cons. No one country is "better" than the other. "Better", IMO, is a preference. Therefore, a country's appeal lies in the beholder.

Just my two cents... Shocked (qinella's going to shoot me)....Runs away before Qinella sees "two cents".....slams the door....gone...
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's easy to get upset in Korea because many of us are alone and have to adjust to a very different culture. There are also problems in communication because of cultural differences and not speaking the language.

Generally speaking I am happy with the treatment I get in Korea. People back home won't give you the same kind treatment - especially your boss and the banks. Seems like everyone back home is trying to squeeze you for your money.

When you have stressful moments in Korea, try to remind yourself of this fact.
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Roch



Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:17 pm    Post subject: Ever Feel Like an Ass for Dissing Korea? Reply with quote

Ekim:

Thank you for the post.

Do not be too hard on yourself.

Describing your feelings in this way is perfectly understandable, and there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way about the R.O.K. on an irregular or regular basis.


Last edited by Roch on Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:20 pm; edited 3 times in total
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periwinkle



Joined: 08 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's pretty normal to rant about bad experiences, things you don't understand, difficulties, etc. It helps you to comes to terms with stuff, get over it, and move on. The one thing I don't get is when people rant about stuff they experience here to Korean people. I've got a couple of friends that do this, and it gets really embarrassing. Biatching about Korea, etc. in public is lame. Perhaps most people don't understand what you're saying, but they can pick up on the tone of your voice, and if you're saying, "blah blah blah Korea blah blah blah Koreans", you're making yourself look bad. I can't tell you how many times I've had to shush some of my friends!!

Also, some of my friends rant to their significant others about Koreans, etc., and my friend's boyfriend almost broke up with him because it really grates on him, understandably. So one of my cardinal rules here is to NEVER complain about anything Korean or related to Korean people because it just creates negativity and bad feelings. Wink It's one thing to get stuff off your chest in the privacy of your own home with a friend, but it's something else to bitch and moan in public.
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Roch



Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mitch Comestein wrote:
Thanks God for a post like this!

Everyone (No, I know not EVERYONE) disses Koreans for being "Blah, Blah, Blah" or whatever, but most of the Koreans that I have ever had real contact with have been some of the nicest people I have ever met! Also, may I note, I am from the southern US, where hospitality is the name of the game.

I think that Koreans get a bad rap. I also think that people who have a hard time with Koreans deserve it.

Koreans want to impress people with their hospitality. So far, they have done it with me.


So, you are from The South, eh. Let me give you my opinion that, in my direct experience and research, the antebellum stereotype of courtly manners has mostly evaporated. Those who are gracious hosts and full of class, though, make The South a memorable place - in spite of the status quo of Southern Society, what with its preponderance of crackers, harmless good ol' boys, peckerwoods, rednecks, etc.

Do you really have to slag off the victims of an obviously dysfunctional nation? What causes you to believe that you are in such a postion to judge the clearly difficult times of other E.F.L. instructors in country?

I doubt that you are God. So, please refrain from putting down instructors who have not had any or as much blessed luck as y'all in the R.O.K.

Take care.

Respectfully,


R


Last edited by Roch on Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Roch



Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

periwinkle wrote:
I think it's pretty normal to rant about bad experiences, things you don't understand, difficulties, etc. It helps you to comes to terms with stuff, get over it, and move on. The one thing I don't get is when people rant about stuff they experience here to Korean people. I've got a couple of friends that do this, and it gets really embarrassing. Biatching about Korea, etc. in public is lame. Perhaps most people don't understand what you're saying, but they can pick up on the tone of your voice, and if you're saying, "blah blah blah Korea blah blah blah Koreans", you're making yourself look bad. I can't tell you how many times I've had to shush some of my friends!!

Also, some of my friends rant to their significant others about Koreans, etc., and my friend's boyfriend almost broke up with him because it really grates on him, understandably. So one of my cardinal rules here is to NEVER complain about anything Korean or related to Korean people because it just creates negativity and bad feelings. :wink: It's one thing to get stuff off your chest in the privacy of your own home with a friend, but it's something else to *beep* and moan in public.


A very diplomatic and, may I add, strategically-minded way to handle the inevitable stresses of living in this nation.

What do you do and how do you react when things get too, too difficult to deal with for another second? Do you have a confidante with whom threshing out your troubles is non problemo? Thing is, most expatriates in the R.O.K. lack a solid network of such allies, and thusly suffer the emotional consequences of "feeling all alone" in a nation that is, for the most part, often alienating for even the most emotionally well-adjusted of us.

Take care.

R
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