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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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Troll_Bait

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Location: [T]eaching experience doesn't matter much. -Lee Young-chan (pictured)
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:37 pm Post subject: Are Korean female professors really lonely? |
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Several years ago, there was a Korean sitcom called "nam-ja set, yo-ja set" ("Three men, Three women"; It's called "Guys and Girls" on Arirang TV.).
One of the characters was a female professor who was in danger of remaining single forever because, like a Christmas cake after December 25th, nobody seemed to want the spinster (I'm using the old-style word "spinster" deliberately.).
That sitcom spawned a host of clones, the latest of which is "Rainbow Romance."
Again, there's a female professor with no boyfriend who's become increasingly desperate as she approaches her sell-by date, the dreaded age of 30.
This type of character seems to be popular in Korean sitcoms, and I'm wondering why.
Is it because she's a potential gold-mine of comedies-of-errors?
I know that they're just sitcoms, but I'm really wondering if this type of character has any basis in reality.
Are Korean female professors really lonely? |
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seoulsucker

Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:47 pm Post subject: |
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From what my coworkers and Korean friends tell me, female teachers are highly sought-after these days. Their work schedules, vacations, salary and job security make them ideal spouses for hard-working Korean men.
Of course, if she looks like she was beaten head-to-toe with a bag of nickels, she might still be a little lonely. |
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Moldy Rutabaga

Joined: 01 Jul 2003 Location: Ansan, Korea
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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There seems to be something comical in a very well-educated woman complaining about being single-- such as Shelly Long in 'Cheers'. Maybe it works in Korea too.
Another factor is that it takes so long to become a university prof that a woman is probably in her thirties, and it's harder to find a mate at that point. Not impossible (it wouldn't be a funny situation then)-- but harder.
Ken:> |
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Troll_Bait

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Location: [T]eaching experience doesn't matter much. -Lee Young-chan (pictured)
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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seoulsucker wrote: |
From what my coworkers and Korean friends tell me, female teachers are highly sought-after these days. |
Yes. I already knew that Korean teachers are highly-prized, but I was thinking more specifically about female Korean professors.
Moldy Rutabaga wrote: |
Another factor is that it takes so long to become a university prof that a woman is probably in her thirties, and it's harder to find a mate at that point. |
I was thinking along those lines.
Also, women inclined to get doctorates (medical(MD) or of philosophy(PhD)) might, personality-wise, be more independant and not feel as much of a need to have a man in their lives.
(So, in that sense, maybe my threat title is misleading. Maybe instead of "more likely to be lonely" I might have said "more likely to be single.")
Furthermore, it's possible that the high level of education and high social status of professors might be intimidating to some men.
From what I understand, even in places like Canada and the United States, very highly-educated women can often end up single. |
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Satori

Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Location: Above it all
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 12:25 am Post subject: |
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Maybe they feel left out of the fun and games the male professors play?
It was common knowledge that many of the profs at my old uni were sleeping with students and thier young attractive "assistants" as well as being married...the admin knew, but wouldn't do anything about it, once tenured, always tenured. |
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Junior

Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Location: the eye
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:37 am Post subject: |
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Koreans work too hard to have enough time for proper dating. Quickly getting hitched to someone you barely know in your 2 weeks summer holiday is all the rage, repent at liesure. |
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Troll_Bait

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Location: [T]eaching experience doesn't matter much. -Lee Young-chan (pictured)
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 6:11 am Post subject: |
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Moldy Rutabaga wrote: |
There seems to be something comical in a very well-educated woman complaining about being single-- such as Shelly Long in 'Cheers'. |
I just remembered something.
Shelly Long's character, despite her education, ended up with someone far "below" her, intelligence-wise.
In both of the Korean sitcoms I described, both female professors end up with men whose education was significantly below theirs.
I wonder if we can read anything into any of this?
Satori wrote: |
Maybe they feel left out of the fun and games the male professors play?
It was common knowledge that many of the profs at my old uni were sleeping with students and thier young attractive "assistants" as well as being married... |
I wouldn't call that "fun and games" so much as "a repulsive abuse of power."
Satori wrote: |
...the admin knew, but wouldn't do anything about it, once tenured, always tenured.
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I have a feeling that, unfortunately, the administration didn't really care or think that there was much wrong with their behaviour. |
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Sina qua non

Joined: 20 Jun 2006
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 7:59 am Post subject: |
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I think they've just got this: "I'm as fully educated as a person can generally be and so, like the men of years past in the male dominated society, I want to use my hard-earned degrees and education to the fullest professional use they can be put to" kind of attitude. 'To the fullest profesional use'...that's a real Captain Ahab kind of Moby Dick to chase after.
And they've been hearing the misandrist (opposite of a misogynist) drivel from undergraduate Psychology of Women classes (By the way what makes the psychology of women classes so particularly special as to garner its own class of study? Is woman psychology so excessively more valuable than male psychology?), and they've been instilled with a pressure to overcompensate professionally (to show there's no moss gathering on their rolling stone).
It's the overcompensation that causes the loneliness. Showing that one is an intelligent, hard-working, talented person is a great personal characteristic to have. But it's the overcompensation that causes the loneliness because they are trying to secure their insecurity related to proving that they can be as educated and talented and intelligent and as hard-working as males.
But it's the overcompensation, and the trying to secure their insecurity, that elbows out any other friends (especially men) that might come across their lives. They always want to work, because there are not enough hours in the day to study and to improve oneself (so as to disprove the notion they've been brainwashed with that 'Women are dumber than men'); there are not enough hours in the day, so they think, to secure their insecurity.
Provide any two significant populations of 1) highly educated women and 2) basically educated women, and I will lay down significant amounts of cash on the arguement that the highly educated group is more lonely (as well as more single) than the basically educated group.
The problem among these lonely ones isn't society or any male-dominance or anything outside of themselves, but rather the problem is their own self-perceived personal insecurity. They're lonely because they want to prove they are better than everybody. |
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taobenli
Joined: 26 Apr 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:29 am Post subject: |
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Well, yes, but grad school (and academia once you get out) is just like that, for men or women. You don't need to prove you're better than everybody at everything, but you do need to prove that in your niche topic within your field, otherwise what are they paying you for? That's the way it goes.
I'm a PhD student myself, and it can be lonely for both genders. I feel like I have it good since I met my boyfriend as an undergrad and we're getting married this summer. It can be hard to juggle school and husband, but I think that juggling is better than the isolation and loneliness. And it's not just the female grad students that complain of not being able to find partners, but the males as well- there isn't much time for dating. |
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Satori

Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Location: Above it all
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 11:12 am Post subject: |
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Sina qua non wrote: |
I think they've just got this: "I'm as fully educated as a person can generally be and so, like the men of years past in the male dominated society, I want to use my hard-earned degrees and education to the fullest professional use they can be put to" kind of attitude. 'To the fullest profesional use'...that's a real Captain Ahab kind of Moby *beep* to chase after.
And they've been hearing the misandrist (opposite of a misogynist) drivel from undergraduate Psychology of Women classes (By the way what makes the psychology of women classes so particularly special as to garner its own class of study? Is woman psychology so excessively more valuable than male psychology?), and they've been instilled with a pressure to overcompensate professionally (to show there's no moss gathering on their rolling stone).
It's the overcompensation that causes the loneliness. Showing that one is an intelligent, hard-working, talented person is a great personal characteristic to have. But it's the overcompensation that causes the loneliness because they are trying to secure their insecurity related to proving that they can be as educated and talented and intelligent and as hard-working as males.
But it's the overcompensation, and the trying to secure their insecurity, that elbows out any other friends (especially men) that might come across their lives. They always want to work, because there are not enough hours in the day to study and to improve oneself (so as to disprove the notion they've been brainwashed with that 'Women are dumber than men'); there are not enough hours in the day, so they think, to secure their insecurity.
Provide any two significant populations of 1) highly educated women and 2) basically educated women, and I will lay down significant amounts of cash on the arguement that the highly educated group is more lonely (as well as more single) than the basically educated group.
The problem among these lonely ones isn't society or any male-dominance or anything outside of themselves, but rather the problem is their own self-perceived personal insecurity. They're lonely because they want to prove they are better than everybody. |
So let me get this straight, the main thrust of your argument here is overcompensation?  |
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billybrobby

Joined: 09 Dec 2004
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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Sina qua non wrote: |
It's the overcompensation that causes the loneliness. Showing that one is an intelligent, hard-working, talented person is a great personal characteristic to have. But it's the overcompensation that causes the loneliness because they are trying to secure their insecurity related to proving that they can be as educated and talented and intelligent and as hard-working as males.
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I don't exactly agree with this agrument (by the way, your post reminded me of this.) To me, is just a fact of life that (a) many men are intimidated by women who are smarter/richer/generally better than they are, and (b) many women are unattracted to men who are stupider/poorer/etc. than they are. Furthermore, you argue that (1) these women are lonely because they are insecure and overcompensating but (2) there's no male-dominance thing involved in their loneliness. Well, if not for a society that values male contributions more than female contributions, where does this insecurity come from?? out of thin air?? why is the insecurity localized in women?
I've certainly met some insecure and overcompensating women in my day, but no more than men. After all, which sex is more likely to buy a Ferrari? And is there anything more blatantly insecure and overcompensating than that? |
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