Korean Job Discussion Forums

[periwinkle]

Anybody have any stalkers? I think I've manged to kick this guy to the curb, but now I'm starting to feel guilty. So here's what I did:

My company started a mentor program (in addition to our regular duties), and we're supposed to assist the guys assigned to us by giving them guidance in their SELF studies, update them with the latest info., etc. We're not meant to be private individual instructors for these guys, hence the "mentor" title.

Anyway, this guy was really enthusiastic about the deal, thinking he was getting conversation classes for free (he told me so). He came by once a week for 45 min., and I did some free talking with him. Then he started coming by more and more often, wanting longer lessons. Then I started laying down the law- when he came by, I said I have 20 min., and I got right down to business. After that lesson, he was a bit apologetic (he had noticed the attitude change). Then he sent me this weird e-mail saying he was worried about my psycholgical condition. (I think he meant to say "physical", not psychological. He knows I have "morning" sickness)

Anyway, I just sent out a group e-mail to all the guys saying, "Please keep your appt. time to once a week, 30 min. per session," and I haven't heard anything. Which is weird 'cuz he used to call me daily or stop by daily.

Anyway, I feel guilty because I can't be as available as he'd like, but he was really taking advantage of the program, so I had to limit his time. I don't know if I should send him an individual e-mail, or just let it go... If I send him an individual e-mail, I'm afraid he'll start with all the weirdness again.

So how have you guys handled way, way too overly enthusiastic students? He was really starting to make me uncomfortable.... He makes my co-workers uncomfortable, too.

[JennyJJ]

You did the right thing. Don't feel guilty. Make sure when you next see him that there isn't any tension. Tell him how busy you are. Be friendly and polite as if nothing happened (to him personally).

[prairieboy]

You did the right thing.

I had a situation with a student. He would wait for me after he finished his lesson and walk to the subway station with me, basically continue our lesson during the 10 minute walk. He would call me and ask if he could buy me a meal. He would call me during times I told him never to call me.

I eventually got tired of this and at the end of a lesson I told him not to wait for me anymore, just go home; not to call me anymore because I am busy and have a life of my own. Our lesson time is in the classroom and not after when I'm trying to go home.

He left and actually caught up with me near the subway station. He looked really sad and tried to apologize to me, but I kept the same attitude and explained to him, rather bluntly that his lesson time was in the classroom only. I then said good-bye to him and that I would see him during our next lesson.

Never heard or saw him again.

[laogaiguk]

[poet13]

I have a couple of students like that, and I dont mind. It's a matter of turning it aronud and using them to learn a little yourself. I'm a total begninner in the language, so it works for me....

[I_Am_Wrong]

I think you did the right thing. Sounds proper and business like to me...

Well not really related...
There's one grade 8 boy at my school who always hangs around after class during the 10 minute break. He follows me during the break and says thinks like, "I think teacher so sexy and handsome." It's kinda creepy.

[poof]

Any professional teacher has to draw the line wherever they think that line lies. If you don't, students will see it as an invitation that they are free to take any liberties with you.

[periwinkle]

Well, he came by yesterday (5 min. before quitting time). He wants me to edit the weird e-mail he sent me. Oh well- I've spelled it out in the e-amil that he gets 30 min. per week, and I'm going to keep an eye on my watch during our sessions. He's just so creepy....

[formerflautist]

Trust your instincts. There is a reason you don't trust this guy. Maybe the best solution would be to talk to your supervisor about the situation. Of course that's only if you feel comfortable that your boss is going to support you and not your student.

[Hyeon Een]

I used to teach in a library. The classes were free for local citizens, so a few nutjobs would turn up.

There was one man called "Stalker" by the library staff before I had even arrived. He had followed the previous teacher around a lot and given her a lot of hassles. He went to the public school she also worked at and asked her to teach him about Canada. When she refused he shouted and hurled abuse at her.

Often after class he would say "Can I ask you a question?" and I would say "Sure, but I really have to go in a minute, I'm in a hurry", and he would say something like "OK, can you write down the differences between the American and Canadian education systems for me" whilst thrusting a bunch of paper and a pen at me..

He often used to come to my classes in military clothes and dark sunglasses. He wasn't in the military. I'm pretty sure he hadn't actually even done military service because he was too weird even for conscription. The rest of the adult students were kind of afraid of him because he was 'weird' in both Korean and English.

The only requirement for my class was that he register by giving his name, address and phone number. He refused to do this so that 'they' couldn't get him. After a few weeks he got banned from the library by the manager for not giving his details. He used to hang around outside waiting for me to buy me lunch or whatever still though..

I've run into him a few times since. He's always doing something weird. Last time I saw him he had a briefcase full of detailed maps of the USA (like 500+ A4 pages covering the entire country.) He was 'learning' them. He wanted me to help. He always used to ask me weird questions about the CIA and police and army and things too.. strange man.. glad I refused to give him my phone number..

[kermo]

I have a student like that.
I teach at a college, and I do a couple shifts a week in the "English Cafe" (I hang around, and students drop in to talk to me.) He comes every week, and is often the only student. From the first time we met, he seemed to be testing how "familiar" he could be with me, specifically asking about casual phrases, or if he could use my first name.

Other students seem to find him a bit odd. In fact, they sometimes ask me whether he's ethnically Korean (his skin is a bit dark) and refer to him hesitantly as "that special guy."

Sometimes the remarks he makes are pretty darned inappropriate. For example, in the midst of updating his personal website with some pictures of a college field trip, which included pictures of me, he strolled over and asked "Ms. Kermo, would it be correct for me to say that when I met Ms. Kermo, she turned on me?"

"Um, I think you mean turned me on..."

[oldfatfarang]

Had a 30yr old married woman (adult student) stalk me last year. I have to say I felt really shaken up about this as I am not 'handsome' or anything. This woman was following me around the supermarket and on the street. The Director sais she was just being 'friendly' but it just didn't feel right at all. I refused to teach her or have her in my adult class. The Director then tried to get her to talk to me in the office when I was using the computer. He also taught her the English to ask me out to the movies. Gees, what's with that. A married, bored, (probably abused) Korean housewife. She wasn't even pretty. I just refused to teach her and that was that.
I think you should scrap your 'mentor' role. Especially if this is unpaid. Tell the boss that you teach English 'in class'. Period.

[hyperlatina]

not a student, but I've recently acquired a stalker type... I think he lives in my building. He followed me to my door one Friday night (well 4am), and grabbed my shoulder as I was about to open the door.

He kept trying to have a convo, and I was more than a bit shaken. I finally told him I had to go to bed. I got inside locked the door and went to bed. He proceeded to knock on my door until 7am.

I don't know what his deal was, but he was really creepy.

[kermo]

[periwinkle]