Korean Job Discussion Forums

chaz47 · Joined: 11 Sep 2003

What do you think of your Korean-Significant Other's family? My girlfriend is guilt tripping me at this very moment for not wanting to go hang out with them.

The last time we were all together we drank too much, got into a physical fight and the cops were called... I have been told that it was all my fault... so of course I apologized, I always seem to be the one apologizing in the relationship... I have been told that this is necessary by other's in cross-cultural relationships.

Anyway, logically I know they are good people. I should point out that this is specifically about her older sister and her older sister's boyfriend... like I said logically I know they are nice people but he seems like a bit of a skeez... speaks just enough English to apologize to me for thinking my girlfriend is hot, [he told her she had a nice ass in Korean... in front of me and my gf's sister (his gf)].

Her sister dates multiple guys, or has dated multiple guys. The current boyfriend has battled for recognition and now apparently has sole status of my gf's sister but still takes the time to brag to my gf how big his muscles are from all the sex he's been having lately with her sister apparently... and this all ok/polite dinner conversation...

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post I am being guilt-tripped and punished... because I didn't want to go visit these people, my gf is telling me she will probably go clubbing and I might not see her until tomorrow afternoon... she is supposed to be staying with me (live in gf).

So is all of this necessary? Does anyone else deal with this sort of thing in their relationships? I should note that she is 22 and I just turned 31 (yesterday, as a matter of fact... this makes the manipulation sting a bit more), is this the price I pay for dating a much younger woman? Not to mention when you factor in the Korean adolescence extending until university graduation...

This is my new slice of drama, does anyone else deal with this or am I officially a doormat? I put my foot down on many issues after the drunken brawl and the visit from the police... things seemed to be good for a couple of days, this new attempt at manipulation has put me into a new tailspin though.

I will have a new job and new apartment in a different part of the city and am considering just not letting her know where the new place is... just sort of disappear...

Rolling Eyes

cultural differences or emotional retardation(me) and immaturity(her)...?

laogaiguk · Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Location: somewhere in Korea

Yep, it's hard not to judge you here on so many levels, but I could be missing a lot you are not writing. Anyways, break up with her and do NOT tell her where you are going! Cut your losses.

blaseblasphemener · Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:28 am Post subject:

Judging by everything you've said, you've got yourself a trashy gf.

Use her strictly for booty calls.

Treat her like shit, never go to her family's house, and she won't be able to get enough of you.

Dirty girls like to be treated badly.

Hapkido-In · Joined: 24 Jun 2006

Don't put up with that crap for another second.

You don't need to be guilted into seeing drunken idiots that need to be seperated by the police.

mole · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III

I'd not be so dismissive yet. How long have you known these people.?
How close do you feel to them? I went out with my wife's cousins and 5/7 of them puked in the bar.
It was a bonding experience.

sjrm · Joined: 27 Jul 2005

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

There's that competition thing again with Korean women being the property of Korean men. Rolling Eyes

I swear that every time I start talking to the women here that a local man will butt in or walk over and hang around. Rolling Eyes

Even with the ajummas. Rolling Eyes

Last weekend, I went to a small bar and started speaking English with a young, cute bartender and there was a group of three Koreans: 2 guys and a girlfriend. The single guy slapped me on my shoulder pretty hard (smack!) as he was leaving. I didn't even respond to it because it didn't hurt. The girls there asked me if it hurt and I said to them in Korean that it was the same as a mosquito. Why the hell would that guy think he could do that? On another night, I might've reacted differently. These fuks think they can do anything they want just because we're foreigners.

So, your girlfriend's sisters boyfriend really overstepped his boundaries. What a pain in the arse. More so because at least the family has accepted you in some way. Others wouldn't allow it at all. Lowered expectations much? Christ, what's wrong with this planet they call Korea?

If there are going to be fights when you go over, why bother? Just tell her to PFO.

braunshade · Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Location: Somewhere better!

She is way to young for you. Dump her and do not inofrm her of your new address or you will have a stalker.

Qinella · Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib

22? Man I'm 25 and I wouldn't date a 22-y-o.

Your OP is a good example of why. Find someone more, um, self-aware.

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

Did I just contradict myself?

JZer · Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Location: South Korea

jacl · Joined: 31 Oct 2005

Tell me about it. Rolling Eyes

Good times!

Even a Korean woman bar owner tried to break up my dancing and talking with a local woman. Don't let gender fool you.

Kimchieluver · Joined: 02 Mar 2005

I say marry her. In fact, make it a double wedding with her sister and your future bro in-law. You know things won't get much worse.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

My woman is trying to disown her family, which is a shame because I like them. Her mom likes me and even signed up for phone lessons with me for a couple months. Her dad spent three years in prison courtesy of Park Junghee's attempt at a democratic regime and now is a major critic of the government. Her sister just got married to a rich guy and is now planning to quit working for the rest of her life.