Korean Job Discussion Forums

[happygirl]

[brighter than white]

Never wait for her to come when you're close especially when she's screaming 'me first then i'll drain you, big boy!' especially if she's over 38 years old.

trust me, big boy.

[merlot]

From real life experiences:

Never play tequila-involved drinking games at your boss�s house after a massive catfish dinner when you�re on a date with the cutie receptionist from work.

Never save the $15.00 on the way to Cuba via the Bahamas and get an �In transit� stamp on your passport.

Never think you�ve revolutionized ocean kayak diving by towing the kayaks a mile offshore, anchoring, then departing the mother craft to do a SCUBA dive in strong currents with the kayaks in tow.

Never ask a cop if he�s a rookie in a bar parking lot when he�s questioning you.

Never climb out on a questionable tree limb that is positioned over a bed of cactus.

Never go four-wheel-driving in a company truck in alligator invested areas at dusk.

Never think Burt Reynolds will offer you a beer and complete assistance if your run out of gas in front of his intra-coastal home in your boat and walk up his dock like you�re his old buddy from high school.

Never think a compass must be malfunctioning

Never plan and execute a road trip from Austin, Texas to Monterrey, Mexico at 3 AM with less than $80. cash in a Buick with 160,000 miles on it.

And finally, never grind up pot in your mothers blender and not clean it well on the afternoon before she makes Jell-O dessert for the family dinner that evening.

[Manner of Speaking]

Learned this one recently:

While brushing your teeth, never attempt to spit out the toothpaste during a sneeze.

[Nowhere Man]

Never bs the divemaster and tell them you've never been on a night dive.

Never pour gasoline on a smoldering fire.

Never use a flare to burn a bag of tent-worms in the midst of a drought.

Local advice:

Never run as fast as you can down the steepest parts of Haebangchon while wasted.

Never work for a new hagwon if you're a new teacher.

Never show up in Fukuoka with $10 asking for a long extension of your tourist visa.

Never take mushrooms on y2k at Hat Rin, Koh Phangan.

And a couple of DO's:

DO, when scaling the steep banks of river in February, be sure that, when you slip and slide, the ice holds you.
(near death experience)

DO, when driving through heavy snow, be sure to do a 540 degree spin without hitting any other car or the guard-rail.
(near death experience)

DO, when visiting Sri Lanka, stay on the 3rd floor of a concrete hotel before a tsunami hits.
(near death experience)

And a classic quote:

Never play cards with a guy named Doc.
Never eat at a place called Ma's
Never sleep with someone who has more troubles than you.

Can't remember who said it.

[inspector gadget]

Never forget your keys in your desk at your public school in Korea and then have to climb through a window and trip the alarm.

Although it was entertaining to watch 25 Koreans stare at the window in disbelief the next day.

[Woland]

[Chinaski]

[ForceOne]

I'd love to hear these stories...

merlot wrote

[mokpochica]

Never do a number 2 on a squat toilet without moving up at least one more step than you think you need to.

Never drink soju with a bunch of red pepper powder in it just because some Korean guys tell you it is good for a cold.

Never get stuck on a norae bang bus on the icy highway with 20 intoxicated male teachers from your school after a funeral.

Never wear roller skates into a bathroom when you've really got to go.

Never leave microwave popcorn unattended in a microwave--even if the package says you should set the timer for 5 minutes and you think that 4 will be fine.

Never eat strange unidentifiable seafood that even your Korean boyfriend refuses to eat.

Never drink a bunch of 'vino tinto' (wine and sprite) with your friend before getting on a 5 hour bus ride in Spain thinking it will help you sleep. The bus driver doesn't care if you need to go...he just cares about his schedule.

Never smoke hashish for the first time while drinking rum and cokes if you're not great at holding your alcohol--especially not with people you've just met.

Never continue a relationship with a bad kisser after he refuses to pay attention to your helpful hints for over a month. You will just end up with saliva all over your face.

[Alias]

Never get hammered before a twelve hour flight. It will NOT make time go by faster.

[riley]

Never as a joke, tell a girl she's got a fat butt. Trust me, she won't find it funny.

Never hang out with a girl who won't date you if you want to have sex with her. You'll just look foolish and sad.

Never take laxatives at night because in a best case, you'll stay awake all night crapping in the toilet.

Never tell your girlfriend/spouse, "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing". Murphy's law will bite you in the ass, gauranteed.

[Octavius Hite]

Never trust a man who says he doesn't need to wear a condom, they all need to.

Never smoke a suspect product while everyone laughs and then ask whats in it.

Never pay first, always after.

Never fly NWA airlines, just listen to the music.

Never believe what a Hogwon director tells you, assume the opposite.

Never drink a 60 of rum and take mushrooms, your long division will suffer.

Never listen to guidence counslers "cause if they knew what they were doing would they have ended up as guidence counslers".

On your first trip to Thailand take an extra thousand dollars bail/bribe money.

Never smoke your own product.

Never piss in your own pool.

Never wear ripped jeans and boxers in a Canadian winter.

[Bronski]

Don't pass out drunk before the girl who is coming over to sleep with you gets there.

*When a man introduces you to his daughter, you should say, "Nice to meet you," not "How much cattle does she come with?".








*Okay, I stole that from a comedian.

[stumptown]