Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Zark]

Slurping and Lip-Smacking, while fun - are a "no no"

[jinks]

[pet lover]

I use two hands when I pour a drink for a student. It's part of the process of teaching them that it's the polite way...model the behavior you want them to learn. I am ashamed I don't do it more, especially in my kindy class. I mean, they learn those type of things in their school...my kids only go to this English kindy and they AREN'T learning it (much anyway) and that is MY responsibility...but kinda hard for me to remember about.

[periwinkle]

How to butter your bread (i.e. don't just cram it into the butter dish).

If your kids are older, you could show them how to open a bottle of wine or champagne (you could even get some sparkling apple cider from Costco to substitute for the champagne).

[ilovebdt]

Don't lick your knife or plate.
Don't pick your teeth with your fork.

ilovebdt

[willardmusa]

In the past, . . up to about the mid-90's (that's 1990's), before the Korean government would issue a citizen a Korean passport, they required the person to attend something like a "western etiquette course" - - sort of like attending a driver's safety course before you can get your driver's license in some countries.

Things like not loudly sucking up noodles, not hacking and spitting - - and, yep, not tossing used toilet paper in the bin - - were part of the class. The class was a six-hour lecture from what I was told. It was intended to ensure Korea's and Koreans' image overseas was not spoiled by the yokel class.

Ah, the days of military rule!

If you could come across the materials from that required etiquette class, you'd be set with all the source material you would ever need for your lesson!

My personal pet peeve: Don't knock on the stall door of the toilet ! If it's closed and locked, obviously someone is in there and knocking on the door is only going to . . uh, . . piss him off . . (pun obviously intended!) I put up with it when I am "on their home turf" - - but it really annoys me when Korean travellers continue to do it on airplanes and airport restrooms! BY THE WAY: I've often wondered, do women do this knocking on the stall door thing too? Or, is it just the men?

[kat2]

Women knock on the door too. If you don't knock back, they just start to try to come in. So you have to knock back or have the door rattle until you come out. They also often line up in individual lines per stall (instead of one big line for the whole bathroom). It seems to depend on the layout o hte public restroom. I still can't figure out when I should line up which way though.
That throwin used toilet paper in the trashcan is so disgusting! Its called toilet paper or god'ssake. It goes in the toilet!

[poet13]

How about adding to the lesson, "Questions not to ask a foreigner."

How much money do you make?
Or when they ask what you bought and then try to look in your shopping bag.
I know the question, "How old are you?" is important n the Korean culture because the respect given (or not) is based in large part on your relative ages, so I'd let that one slide except where obvious.
Anybody have any more of those questions not to ask?

[copperpot]

hey thanks for all the tips guys!

what do you think about pushing in on lines and stuff? do lots of koreans do that? it's happened to me lots of times at the bus stop or in the supermarket, people just shove right in front of you. and sometimes there are no distinct queues. but it's mainly been older people.

[Blinky Bill]

A very good topic for discussion as I would like to do this type of lesson for some adult/older student classes in the future.
I would like to see a small movie produced on this topic that could be used as a resource to assist teaching this type of lesson in the future.
For example, half the movie would be of a western dinner highlighting the etiquette rules ( some highlighted by posters in this topic so far and more ) used when having a meal. The other half of the movie would highlight the etiquette rules when sitting down to a Korean meal. It could be used to discuss the differences. Just an idea. The movie could be produced and sold to teachers who would like to use this type of a resource in a classroom environment, on a computer.

[kat2]

Yes, the shoving is really rude to westerners. It happens with older men especially cutting in line. But the general shovin in crowded places is considered really rude by most of us but perfectly normal to Koreans. When I first got here, I was ready to smack people all the time for shoving. Now I've been here long enough tath I just shove back

[Cerriowen]

Here's a huge one...

Don't eat until all the food is prepared, and everyone's ready. Koreans tend to just start eating as soon as something's put on the table. Waiting for everyone to get their food and be seated is totally bizzare to them. If you go to a restaurant with friends and one of your meals comes, they'll *usually* wait until it's all there to start eating, unless you're sharing it.

Other things:

Small bites. Don't fill your mouth all the way up with food. Never more than about 1/4 of the way full.<Koreans tend to jam what ever their eating in to their mouth whole, and then chew>

No elbows/arms resting on the table.

Sit up straight. No slumping over your plate or picking it up so it's closer to your mouth. <it's really practical to do this when you're using chopsticks to keep things from spilling>

Don't slurp your soup. Put it all the way in your mouth. <also don't drink from the bowl, but usually only Japanese do that>

It's polite to wipe your mouth periodically, to ensure there's nothing on your lips. <Koreans don't do this and it drives me crazy...>

I've only been here 3 months and already I'm starting to eat like a Korean. I had a mental image the other day when I was sitting in a restaurant having lunch with a friend, of my mom seeing me and dying right on the spot.

Questions not to ask:

How much money do you make?

How old are you?

Are you married? (at least not right away, because in western culture this often implies you might want to hit on them)

Things not to do:

Guys! Don't touch someone of the same gender. If you put your hand on a guys thigh, in a friendly way, you're liable to get punched. No hugging or holding hands with a male friend.

Don't walk so close. Even good friends usually don't walk down the street touching eachother (arms touching, or right up against eachother)

If you bump in to someone, say you're sorry. Just walking off is an insult.

If you make eye contact with someone on the street, just passing, make sure you nod or smile or something. Just letting your eyes flick away is kind of a dismissive, somewhat hostile gesture in some places.

When you have to cough, cover your mouth.

*Might also want to tell them that blowing your nose is *not* considered rude in most western culture.

[happygirl]

Hi Girl. Glad to see you got the ideas flowing. This sounds like something I might steal for my camp. When does yours start?

missing you and the Jin. loads of pics waiting. see you soon.

[kat2]

After just sharing some mandu and pig liver with the staff (i stuck to the mandu), a few more things came to mind.

Chew with your mouth closed, as quietly as possible.
If there is a shred of food in your mouth, don't talk.
Small bites. About the size of 2 thumbs side by side is the max

[willardmusa]

There is a practical reason behind that toilet paper in the bin thing:

The early sewer systems in Korea could not handle the paper; same for the pipes and septic tanks of the first homes to get indoor plumbing / toilets. In most of the older stand-alone homes you see in the older neighborhoods, this is still the case. So, in the past, Koreans HAD TO toss the paper into a conveniently placed nearby bin. (One only wished they would empty the bin more often; or, at least put a lid on it!)

Most modern buildings have long solved the sewage problems, but old habits die hard and many Koreans - - even in the younger generation - - even though they live in a modern new apartment or home - - still toss the paper in a bin. Go to a modern building in downtown Seoul and you'll still find the bin in every stall right there next to each toilet.

The old Kimpo Airport, when it was still the international airport, used to have signs inside the door of the toilet stalls written in Korean only that asked Koreans to please go ahead and flush the toilet paper down and not put it in the wastebasket outside near the sink !! (They didn't provide bins in the stalls.) It was a very polite message explaining how this was a kind of Korean custom, but that it was not so polite for foreign guests.

In the U.S. while teaching at a university, I had a Korean student stay the summer in my house. He would take the TP out to the wastebasket near the sink and toss it there. I wrote him a polite note one day explaining how I understood tha older houses in Korea couldn't handle the TP, but that this was not a problem in most homes in the U.S., and that it wasn't exactly hygienic, so to please flush it!

There are a lot of things in Korea like this; things that are rooted in old realities but persist in today's modern reality even when they defy logic or education. I guess it takes a couple of generations for old habits based on old realities to go from reality, to myth, to gone.