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I_Am_Wrong
Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Location: whatever
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 6:22 am Post subject: Korean girls (yes I know....another damn thread) |
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| So what does it mean when you have a date with a korean girl that you totally dig and she seems to dig you....but she wants to bring a friend? I mean, I've already been on two double dates with her. Hit it off, had a great time both nights, dinner and dancing etc. After two double dates I just want a solo date but she wants to bring a friend. Talk about confusing... |
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Benicio
Joined: 25 May 2006 Location: Down South- where it's hot & wet
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 6:40 am Post subject: |
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This one comes up at least once every 2 months.
There should be another forum that keeps up the answers to the all too common questions like this and "What do I need to bring to Korea?" and "Visiting so and so city, what is good to do?", etc.
Well, in this situation she either:
- just thinks of you as a friend. The other person is there to make sure it stays that way.
- is too intimidated to be alone with you. This is very common for girls who are not experienced in dating foreigners. She may like you, but she's scared to be alone with you. She's not sure how it will turn out.
When I was a newbie, I went out with a girl a few times and this happened. Our mutual friend later told me that she unintentionally sabotaged all of her potential relationships this way because she was too scared to be alone with a guy. I think she's still single to this day.
Anyway, it wouldn't hurt to just ask her. After a few "dates" it's time to figure out where it is going: friendship or a relationship? |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:01 am Post subject: |
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Yo... How would you react if a chick from your home country wanted to bring a friend on dates with you?
Why should it be any different with a Korean girl?
Personally, I wouldn't do it, unless it were a situation where her friend was bored and had nothing to do and wanted to tag along or something. Okay, that's cool, but the protection element? Forget about it. I'm not into dating rabbits. |
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Kimchieluver

Joined: 02 Mar 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:11 am Post subject: |
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| Have you tried doing something with her in the daytime? Beleive me it helps. Say you want her to come along and do some shopping with you, maybe show you a few places. |
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mateomiguel
Joined: 16 May 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:48 am Post subject: |
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"do you two come as a set?"
I DARE YOU TO SAY IT! |
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:23 am Post subject: |
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| mateomiguel wrote: |
"do you two come as a set?"
I DARE YOU TO SAY IT! |
I guess I would say do it one more time and that should be the end of it. Anyway, how do you know she is interested, though? Have you been clear about your interest? Has she? |
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bnrockin
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:24 am Post subject: |
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| How many of you have similar experiances like that? I know I dated a girl from Central America here in the U.S. and she said it was awkward because they are used to kind of group events and the two people just kind of hitting it off together there. Perhaps there is something like this in Korea. I dunno, just speculating. |
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jacl
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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Painful. Very, very painful. Tell her how painful it is. Quit being Mr. Nice Guy.
Sounds like the date alone with her is going to be soooooooooooooooo much more fun. Oh boy. |
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I_Am_Wrong
Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Location: whatever
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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Jacl: I like the sarcasm.
Two double dates were soooooo much fun, and I'm not being sarcastic.
Generally speaking hours of dancing, great dinners, a little bit of holding hands, her telling me I'm cute etc. are pretty good signs in my book.
Yesterday, I did a little bit of a test. I sent her a text and said I would call her a little bit later. I decided to put off calling her for a while to see if she would call me first and she did.
I was thinking that she wants to bring a friend because she doesn't know me that well yet and feels more comfortable like that. From what I hear, it's pretty common in the Korean dating scene. |
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seoulshock
Joined: 12 Jul 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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Don't do it. If she doesn't feel comfy with you, forget it. Don't waste your time with her... AND spend your money on HER and HER FRIEND.
Move on to another chick. |
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jacl
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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Yes. It was common in Taiwan too. Had a date bring her friggin' brother once. And she was 31 years old. Good times. She ended up being a money hungry fill in the blank.
Other women: in the sack the same night. That's what adults do. No games and text messaging to see if she calls back and, and...
What a headache. |
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Junior

Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Location: the eye
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| jacl wrote: |
Yes. It was common in Taiwan too. Had a date bring her friggin' brother once. And she was 31 years old. Good times. She ended up being a money hungry fill in the blank.
Other women: in the sack the same night. That's what adults do. No games and text messaging to see if she calls back and, and...
What a headache. |
"Let me tell U about Korean girls."
*A lot of them are scared by the prospect of being alone with a guy they don't know too well, let alone a foreigner. Koreans have a group mentality, remember. Its pathetic, I know.
* They value their friends opinion of you. Peers have a much stronger influence on a person than they should over here.
*Reputation: Koreans are super worried about their reputation. if she's seen out alone with you, people will talk. if she's seen in a group with you, it doesn't matter. She's not ready to blow her reputation on you just yet.
Personally I think its ok the first time. I do give a little cultural leeway. Second time? No. Because it becomes apparent that she wants to set everything her own way. Like most K-gals, they are spoiled and want you to follow their agenda entirely, like K-boys do when dating. Some hotties i went with here were so shocked that I didn't do everything they wanted when ordered to do so, they went into trauma and had tantrums. No.. it should be equality, not her dictating how everything goes. |
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Paddycakes
Joined: 05 May 2003 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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Were's your positive attitude, men.
She wants a threesome... |
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seoulshock
Joined: 12 Jul 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Junior wrote: |
| Some hotties i went with here were so shocked that I didn't do everything they wanted when ordered to do so, they went into trauma and had tantrums. No.. it should be equality, not her dictating how everything goes. |
Yes... THANK YOU!
Men are turning into vaginas, we need more MEN who won't let women walk all over them! |
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Manner of Speaking

Joined: 09 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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| The first few times it happened it really pissed me off, but I asked the advice of some korean guys and they said not to worry about it, she wants her friend's opinion of you. So if you impress both her and her friend as nice, charming, engaging, considerate, you've made a good impression. But if she's not comfortable being alone with you by the third date, I'd say drop her as a potential girlfriend...she's got some growing up to do. |
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